"Dammit. Get the squeegee."
It's a person, in case that wasn't clear or something.
As a high-speed HGV train pulled into a railway station in France, awaiting passengers were greeted with a scene straight out of their Thomas-the-Tank-Engine-inspired nightmares: literally embedded into the front of the train was a somewhat fresh, more-than-somewhat flattened corpse.
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Initial attempts to pass him off as a hood ornament were unsuccessful.
Nobody's quite sure of the hows or whys, but a cyclist rode his way straight into a Stephen King story near the small village of Petit-Croix. This meeting of man and locomotive went pretty much exactly how anyone who grew up watching too many Road Runner cartoons and then binged on Evil Dead as a teenager might imagine it: the cyclist was splattered against the front of the train like some kind of gore-filled Wile E. Coyote, and then he clung there all the way to the train's next stop -- 25 miles away -- before anyone even noticed.
How did the engineer not see a mass of pulverized human stuck to the front of his train like a ghastly, oversized Wacky Wally? Well, for one, trains have pretty huge blind spots, and for two, engineers be busy, yo. "We are looking at the speed controls and at the electrical equipment, we cannot see a pedestrian by the side of the tracks," said the train's driver. "If someone throws himself under the train we are completely helpless. This is a train, not a wheelbarrow. It cannot stop in 100 meters."
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