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This charming fellow is Patrick Costanzo of Minnesota, who stole $25,000 worth of Tide products from the local Walmart via several daring shoplifting quests over the course of several months:
Dakota County Sheriff's Office
But couldn't be assed to take a new pair of reading glasses.
Isolated weirdo? With those glasses? No! Clear across the country, we have the ladies of the Star Nails salon in Capitol Heights, Maryland. Busted in a raid in 2012, the employees of the salon were found to be trafficking in stolen Tide and selling it to their home country of Vietnam (after watering it down to increase profit, of course).
That's just the tip of the breezy-scented iceberg. Tide theft is rampant and widespread and shows no immediate sign of letting up anytime soon. Sometimes, even the physical presence of the police isn't enough to deter persistent Tide thieves. While en route to investigate a store's complaint of Tide disappearances, a police officer ran into a man piling 100 stolen bottles into his hatchback in the parking lot like the rapture was coming and he was literally going to wash away his sins. Later, as the same officer took part in an interview in front of another store to address the Tide problem, another thief took advantage of the situation to make off with 20 bottles.
Via The Blaze
The officer then vowed to "clean up this town" to barely suppressed laughter.
There are so many questions. Why detergent at all? Theft is theft. If you absolutely have to steal huge amounts of liquid from a store, you're telling us fine booze has less of a market? And why Tide, specifically? Why not Gain, Surf, or the clearly superior Snuggle? Is it all down to brand value? Is Tide simply the most recognizable detergent -- the Nike of skid-mark removal?