With divorce rates soaring, the concept of a perfect marriage is not unlike the concept of unicorns -- they feature most prominently in the realm of fantasy and the diaries of preteen girls.
First, you'll need a unicorn.
Unlike unicorns, marriage has garnered a good deal of interest from researchers (when are you gonna start genetically modifying us some Pegasii, science?). In fact, scientists from the Geneva School of Business have actually managed to figure out a formula for the best possible marriage. They reviewed over a thousand marriages from all social backgrounds and age groups and then determined how happy each couple was. From this data pool, they were able to create the optimal conditions for a perfect marriage. Here's what they have:
First of all, the man should be about five years older than the woman, because the couple dynamic apparently works the best that way. The couple should preferably be from the same cultural heritage, as this saves them from waging the bloody "which way should the toilet paper roll hang" war.
Finally, the wife should be at least 27 percent smarter than the husband. Optimally, the woman should have a degree, while the husband would remain relatively uneducated. There's logic behind this: Because they usually invest more raw emotion in a relationship, women have a tendency to carry the emotional happiness of the entire relationship, while the men tag along. Basically, if the wife is happy, then the husband is happy, too. This essentially puts the woman in the position of the "brain" of the relationship, so it sort of makes sense to reinforce the setting by giving her superior cranial capabilities as well.
Second, she can't be a douche about it. Book learnin' is for assholes.
Of course, this formula is far from foolproof -- after all, love is a right bastard to control. Still, the researchers claim that the couples within their "perfect" model have a 20 percent better chance to maintain a happy marriage than couples outside of the model. And for the millions and millions of us who don't fit their findings, there's always a consolation: All those "dumb, fat husband with a brilliant, pretty wife" shows on ABC are totally scientifically accurate!
Karl has a Twitter, a Facebook and a blog. You can read more from XJ and his perfect way of being unperfect at his writing blog, and he'll love you for an entire minute if you follow him on Twitter.
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