5

The Legally Haunted House

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These days, "haunted houses" are the exclusive domain of plastic skeletons popping out from squeaky trapdoors. It's hard to find anyone who takes hauntings seriously anymore. But the New York Supreme Court apparently does: Back in 1991, they ruled a house to be legally haunted.

The fiasco began in 1989, when Jeffrey and Patrice Stambovsky bought an 18-room mansion from its owner, Helen Ackley, for the amount of $650,000. But just like Poltergeist, the new owners soon learned that the old Ackley place was harboring some secrets. Some supernatural secrets ...

P-probably. Like, it just felt weird, you know? You'd be standing in the kitchen and get a cold feeling -- and sure, maybe that's because the fridge is open, but do you really want to risk that?

Mark Kavanagh
Legends say that the house was built on an ancient pile of bullshit.

The Stambovskys didn't. They decided that the mere possibility of a haunting was a deal breaker and took Ackley to court, where they argued that she had deceptively withheld information about the ghosts. The court initially ruled "caveat emptor," which we're pretty sure is legalese for "tough titties," but the Stambovskys appealed the case, and the Supreme Court overturned the decision, ruling that Ackley had broken the contract by claiming that the house was "vacant."

Now, stop: Can you guess the stupid? You have an idea, don't you? Yeah, you have an idea, but it's too stupid to be real, so you're staying quiet rather than risking embarrassment. That's too bad, because you would have been right: Ackley was found to be in violation of contract because she'd failed to disclose the occupants living on the property. Well, not "living," per se ...

4

Cause of Death: Spontaneous Combustion

Spontaneous human combustion, the occasional tendency for people to Flame On apropos of nothing, is one of the last remaining mysteries of the human body. But those killjoys in the science world don't want to let us have our Human Torches -- they keep reminding us that there is a depressingly mundane explanation for it that doesn't involve radiation or mutant superpowers. Most scientists agree that victims of "spontaneous combustion" are likely just victims of boring old "getting lit on fire," due to the fact that many cases are drunks or geriatrics falling asleep while either sitting near open flames or smoking.

Getty
You can't always improve drinking with fire play.

So coroners are pretty hesitant to declare "spontaneous combustion" as a cause of death, because sometimes the families frown at you when you tell them that Drunk Uncle Neil died of an Acute Magic Attack. Nevertheless, in 2011, Irish coroner Kieran McLoughlin did just that, ruling that Michael Faherty had spontaneously combusted when his ashen remains were found in his home.

3

The Indian Government Declares Astrology to Be Legit

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For the record: Astronomy is the science of studying planets and stars through massive telescopes; astrology is that thing that tells you how much ass you're going to get this week based on your birthday. One of them is a respected scientific discipline. We'll leave it to you to figure out which.

"It clearly shows right here that you have to sleep with me. These are facts."

2

The Hong Kong Government Spends Millions on Feng Shui

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Feng shui is an ancient Chinese tradition that dictates how you organize your home to maximize life energy -- put a couch in the wrong place, and the "qi" might just bounce off the cushions and fly straight out the window. But feng shui was banned in China back in the 1960s, when Chairman Mao ruled that the only energy permitted to flow through your home was enthusiasm for Chairman Mao.

Keystone/Getty
"But ... our qi!"
"Mao Zedon'tcare."

1

You Can't Build on Fairy Land in Ireland and Iceland

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Thick, sticky red tape makes construction a damn nightmare pretty much anywhere in the world, but in Ireland, road builders have another hurdle: They have to be sure not to lay roads down through fairy territory.

While most people in Ireland claim that they don't really believe in the wrath of the fairy folk, it's nevertheless fairly common practice to reroute roads and highways if fairy experts insist that a particular patch of land might be a meeting place for the little people. According to folklorist Eddie Lenihan, the consequences for building on fairy land might include brake failures and car crashes -- because even Fairyland has a mafia.

Fotolia
"Those are some nice Lost Boys. It'd be a shame if something ... happened to them."

A similar practice occurs in Iceland, where the majority of Icelanders (we know that's incorrect terminology, but we like it because it sounds like "Highlanders") believe in elves. And although you probably think of "elves" as either tree-bound cookie slaves or sexually ambiguous archers, in Iceland they are vengeful spirits whose houses you certainly don't want to be bulldozing.

That's why roads in Iceland are regularly rerouted to work around angry elf populations. In one case, a project was completely abandoned when equipment failures prevented the crew from removing a large rock. The workers assumed that the elves were trying to send them a message with all the breakdowns and packed up shop, rather than doing what more logical, reasonable construction crews do, which is to fire Gary, their shitty site mechanic.

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HR isn't sensitive toward any type of fairy accusations.

Steve Hanley makes sure to never take anything seriously on his Twitter.

For more silly things people still believe, check out 5 Myths That People Don't Realize Are Admitted Hoaxes and 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters to Be Real.

If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The 8 Weirdest Vehicles People Were Caught Driving Drunk.

And stop by LinkSTORM to discover Cracked's zombie contingency plan.

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