Escaping the Nazis With Cross-Dressing
Flying a glider during World War II wasn't for the faint of heart. Shit, flying a glider at any time isn't for the faint of heart. But during WWII, when a glider was an engineless craft with all the aerodynamics of a brick, it was especially treacherous. The glider was towed behind another plane and then cut loose in the hopes that it would safely crash in a way that didn't kill everyone on board.
Yeah, but tank-planes!
While flying a mission over Holland during World War II, glider pilot George F. Brennan was being towed to his target when German anti-aircraft guns attacked. Brennan was first hit with a bullet in his hand. Next, an AA shell fragmented near the plane, showering him with flak in the chest, leg, arm and ass. A few minutes later, another bullet went the spoof-comedy route and hit the gas line of a jeep strapped down in the back of the plane, igniting a gas fire. The flames spread to the pilots, burning them before other passengers were able to put it out. So, you know, it was a pretty bad flight. And did we mention that all of this happened before the glider was even released from the plane that was towing it?
"Don't worry, gravity is a Nazi invention, and we're having no truck with it."
As if being burned, shot and riddled with shrapnel wasn't enough, another shrapnel round exploded before the glider could make its way to the ground, lodging burning pieces of metal into Brennan's jaw.
The Insane Rescue:
The first part of the rescue came off with no problem -- after crashing, Brennan was rescued by the Dutch resistance, who took him to a hospital.
But that's when things got complicated: That hospital was currently occupied by the German military. The Nazis had taken over the first floor and Brennan was on the second, a few feet and one floor above Colonel Klink's head. So how in the hell do the Dutch hide an injured pilot in plain sight of the enemy? Here's where you have to ask: What would a slapstick '80s sitcom do?
It was a question that haunted Hitler every day.