Lawrence of Rome was one of seven deacons in charge of the riches of the Catholic church. The Roman prefect apparently got a memo that Rome would really appreciate more riches (you don't say?), so he demanded that the church turn them over. Pope Sixtus II, already condemned to death, instructed Lawrence to distribute the church's jewels and treasures to the poor. And he did so.
When asked by the prefect to produce that wealth, Lawrence gestured to the crowd of peasants and said that they were truly the riches of the church. As emotionally stirring as that quote was, the prefect's lifelong hatred of ham-fisted Hallmark card metaphors manifested itself in an immediate death sentence for Lawrence of Rome.
Imagine the heartwarming music skittering to a stop, and then the match flaring.
Lawrence's execution was to be carried out over a torture-sized George Foreman Grill; he was literally barbecued to death. Just before he gave in to his burns and died, Lawrence reportedly advised his captors: "This side's done. Turn me over and have a bite." This marks both the first and the most accurate instance that "Bite me" was used as a comeback.