But astonishingly, the drunk guy with a track record of thinking with his dick didn't turn out to be a good choice to handle sensitive information. Ames contacted the Soviets in 1985 and turned traitor for money, which he handled with the usual stealthy grace we've come to expect from him. Instead of setting up a series of drops (standard practice for the spy community), Ames would just drive down to the Soviet Embassy, walk in with a box full of documents, have lunch with his contact, take his 50 grand and then walk right out the front door with the cash, presumably in a bag with a giant dollar sign on it.
And he kept this up for nine years.
Yelling on the way out, "Thank you for the money you just gave me for all that spying!"
The CIA finally caught on to Ames when somebody began to wonder why the guy snoring on his desk and using a bottle of Scotch for a pillow was driving to the office in a brand new Jaguar. Ames was being paid about $60,000 a year at the time, yet somehow managed to drop $540,000 for a house -- in cash! When they looked into his finances, the CIA found that even Ames' monthly phone bills exceeded $6,000. And when they finally did the math and figured out that donating plasma and recycling beer cans just doesn't pay that well, Ames suddenly left to attend a "conference" in Moscow in early 1994. But he didn't make it in time, and the agency moved on him. Now he's spending the rest of his life in prison, but only after making $4.6 million from selling CIA secrets.
Suckers. He would have taken 20 bucks and a case of Milwaukee's Best.