James H. Howard

Via homeofheroes, ww2incolor

In January 1944, James H. Howard and his squadron of P-51 Mustangs were escorting a formation of American bombers back from a mission to wipe out some aircraft factories near Berlin. While still over Germany, Nazi fighter planes attacked the American formation, and Howard, along with the other escorts, swooped in to defend the bombers. After a short battle, all of the German fighters were either driven off or shot down, but Howard found himself alone, separated from the rest of his squadron.

LF 4 4
Via homeofheroes

"Finally, some me time."

He returned to the bomber formation by himself, only to find the sky swarming with between 30 and 40 German fighters.

The Rampage

Rather than wait for the rest of his squadron, or even hesitate for a moment, Howard blazed directly into the heart of the German fighter formation. For the next 30 minutes, Howard viciously attacked the German planes with the astonished bomber crews looking on in awe. He shot down or damaged at least six enemy aircraft and received in return only a single bullet through the wing.

Via nostalgicaviation

The plane was only weighing him down.

Running dangerously low on fuel (remember this was all happening over Germany) and with half of his guns jammed, Howard continued to swoop in on the enemy planes and force them away from the bombers before the German aircraft eventually gave up the chase.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via homeofheroes

"See this? This is you guys. You'll notice it's a perfect fit for my penis."

When Howard returned to his base in the U.K., he didn't tell anyone what had happened. Only after an inquiry by the bomber crews was Howard's identity as the legendary Mustang pilot revealed.

In a press conference a few weeks later, a reporter asked Howard why he didn't wait for the rest of his squadron, and his response was -- write this down, because you're going to want to use it any time anyone asks you why you did anything -- "He who rides a tiger cannot dismount."

Via Wikipedia

"Hmm. But what about he who rides a shark?"

In 1951, after a year of fighting in Korea, the United Nations forces were at a stalemate with the North Korean Army and the People's Liberation Army, led by Kim Il Sung and Mao Zedong, respectively (aka the Korean Jesus and the world's most deadly sex maniac).

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via Wikipedia

We think they got their roles mixed up when it came to portrait time: Kim looks up for anything.

In the middle of all this was Jack G. Hanson, a machine gunner in the 31st Infantry Regiment of the U.S. Army. Hanson and the rest of the men of F Company were dug into a hill which, on the night of June 7, 1951, came under attack from a vast force of North Korean infantry. Knowing that there was no way they could stand and fight, the Americans withdrew, leaving Hanson and four other men as a rear guard to cover the retreat.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via historymartinez

"Don't worry, we'll totally come back for you guys."

The Rampage

The aforementioned four other men with Hanson all got wounded in the attack and were forced to crawl to safety, leaving just Hanson and his machine gun standing in the face of an unstoppable human wave, spitting hot lead death.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via homeofheroes

"Outnumbered? More like outfunbered.

Nobody really knows for sure what happened next, since all the Americans had withdrawn and the North Koreans were either dead or otherwise unavailable for comment. What we do know is that two hours later the Americans counterattacked and retook the position, where they found Hanson's body in front of his machine gun nest with all his ammo expended. In his right hand was an empty pistol and in his left was a machete covered in blood.

In front of him lay approximately 22 dead enemy soldiers, riddled with bullets and stab holes.

So, yeah. You can fill in your own story there. Just know that it won't be as badass as what actually happened.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via Wikipedia

"Is that a tank? Bring it."

Dominic "Fats" McCarthy

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via awm, ww2incolor

Dominic "Fats" (seriously) McCarthy was an Australian soldier who fought in Gallipoli and France from the beginning of World War I. In August 1918, McCarthy was commanding a company in Northern France when the battalion on his left flank was held up by a heavily fortified German trench full of machine guns. Irritated that something was standing in the way of his storm of assbeat, McCarthy took three other men with him to deal with this German trench that was causing so many problems.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via Wikipedia

We're sure the rules of war say that this guy has the right of way.

The Rampage

For a guy named Fats, McCarthy could really fucking move. He outpaced the guys who came with him and managed to avoid the torrents of hot lead being spat at him from the German guns. He arrived at the first machine gun nest, blasted it into oblivion before the other guys could catch up and, without pausing for breath, launched a one-man blitzkrieg on the entire German trench system, armed only with a standard rifle and a shitload of grenades.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via moddb

"Oh, have you three just arrived? There's no more war left."

McCarthy captured five machine guns, killed 22 Germans and captured 50 more. He secured half a kilometer of German trench by himself. The Germans were so impressed with his fighting that when they surrendered they patted him on the back and told him what a good job he'd done beating the everloving Jesus out of them across 500 meters of heavily fortified trenches.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via pingnews

"Learn from his example, men! Private, stop crying, it's embarrassing."

Herbert Christian

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via tripwireinteractive, highestfive

In June 1944, Private Herbert F. Christian was on a patrol in Central Italy with 12 other men when they were ambushed by a force of about 60 enemy soldiers rolling deep with three tanks at a range of only 30 yards. Understandably, Christian gave the signal to his patrol that they should probably get the hell out of there.

It was at this point that a tank sheared off his right leg above the knee.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via militarytimes

That would make anyone feel a little unbalanced. (Sorry.)

The Rampage

Driven into a legless fury, Christian propped himself up on what must have been little more than his right thighbone, slotted a fresh magazine into his submachine gun and immediately killed three enemy soldiers. Not satisfied with that, he started shuffling toward the enemy while the rest of his patrol used the distraction he provided to cover their retreat.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via nebraskastudies

"Run! Let the crippled guy handle it!"

Christian made it to within 10 yards of the nearest enemy position, firing as he went and leaving a river of blood in his wake, and killed yet another enemy soldier. The Germans, enraged by his plucky leglessness, poured all their fire (including some from a 20mm anti-aircraft gun) into him until he finally died, which we're going to go ahead and assume was a whole lot of bullets later.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via world.guns.ru

We think it was when he grafted his gun to his leg that made them really worried.

Fazal Din

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via mardb, ibiblio

Fazal Din was a Punjabi Muslim fighting for the British in Burma during World War II. In March 1945, Din was commanding a section of about a dozen men in an attack on some Japanese machine gun bunkers when he and his men were held up by enemy fire. Din, not one to stand for any such bullshit, took out the bunkers personally with some expertly lobbed grenades.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via Wikipedia

His aim was only as sharp as his personal grooming.

Without pausing, Din and one of his men continued the attack against six Japanese soldiers led by two sword-wielding officers. Din's man was struck down, and when Din came to his aid, one of the Japanese officers stabbed him through the chest, the tip of the blade poking all the way out through Din's back. The officer withdrew the sword, assuming his work was done.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via antiquehelper

"Yep, that'll probably do ya."

The Rampage

Din had other ideas. He wrestled the sword away from the officer and killed him with it, then turned on the other soldiers, killing two more and routing the rest. The rest of Din's platoon caught up with him and, waving the sword over his head, Din led them into a final attack that wiped out the remainder of the enemy's positions.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via Wikipedia

The moral of the story? Don't wave around a sword if you don't want to get stabbed.

Still carrying the sword, Din walked to the nearest British command post and gave his account of the battle. Only then did he allow his gaping chest wound to get the better of him, and he fell down dead.

Mikhail Panikakha

Via incredibleimages4u.blogspot.com

In World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad looked very much like it was a battle the Germans couldn't possibly lose. The Russians were pushed back to the banks of the Volga, and divisions that were supposed to be 12,000 men strong were down to mere hundreds or even dozens. In the middle of all this was Mikhail Panikakha, a Pacific Fleet Marine who had volunteered to fight in Stalingrad, where the life expectancy of a Soviet fighter was measured in hours.

The 6 Most Epic One Man Armies in the History of War
Via ww2incolor

And badassery was measured in -- holy shit that's a big gun.

The situation was desperate, not just for Panikakha but for the whole Red Army. A strong German attack was threatening to split the Soviet defense in two and push them out of the city. On October 1, the Germans assaulted Panikakha's position, but despite being armed with little more than the physical manifestation of consummate hatred, the Soviets managed to defeat the first wave. The second wave soon followed, with Germans driving their tanks over the Soviet trenches to collapse the sides and bury their occupants, one of which was Panikakha.

Via ww2db

Bad idea, tank.

The Rampage

Out of antitank grenades and about to be buried alive under a piece of German armor, Panikakha grabbed a pair of Molotov cocktails and leaped out of the trench. As he went to light the first Molotov a bullet struck the bottle, causing the flaming liquid to burst all over him. Despite being engulfed in a column of fire, Panikakha picked up the other Molotov and climbed on top of the tank, smashing the bottle on the engine compartment. The tank, along with Panikakha, exploded almost immediately. The Germans, realizing that Russians soaked in alcohol are both incredibly common and incredibly combustible, retreated.

Via stalingrad-info

The original draft of this statue involved a lot more fire and exploding Nazis.

Read more from Tony Pilgram at Bad Metaphors.com.

For more badass loners, check out 6 Soldiers Who Survived Shit That Would Kill a Terminator and 5 Spies with Bigger Balls Than James Bond.

And stop by LinkSTORM to see what happens when David Wong puts on his red headband.

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