After compiling all the research materials necessary, it's time to bone up on Justin Bieber. Christ that came out awful. Learn, is what I mean. Study. Whatever.
Yesterday, I was completely dismayed to find that this young jerk has two full albums. I'm still hoping to get around to showering this week and this kid is cranking out albums every six hours. And now I have to listen to them. Fuck me. Here goes nothing.
I start with My World instead of My World 2.0 because I keep shit chronological whenever possible. Fortunately, the album only has seven songs on it. So I take it back, this kid is lazy as shit. He probably sleeps until noon in the summer and never cleans his room. What a dick.
So how's the album sound? Like the kind of thing R. Kelly would probably jerk it to while fantasizing about urinating on 14-year-old chicks on camera, that's what. It's the kind of pop/R&B concoction that is obnoxious enough in the hands of a 19-year-old girl, let alone a kid who my friend Wikipedia assures me was around 15 or so when the album was recorded. I'm not buying it. He sounds like a 12-year-old kid at best. Or maybe a really well cared for keytar played way up the neck. Have fun following that reference, Bieber fans! The songs themselves are littered with references to lost love and heartbreak and talk of his "favorite girl." How much ass is this kid crushing that he's already got a favorite girl out of "all the girls" he's "ever known"?