Is there a special someone in your life? A certain girl whose beauty outshines the sun, whose laugh lights up the room, whose very presence causes a great welling of emotion within you?
Yeah there is. And she won't talk to you any more, right? Because of those things you did or didn't do? Man, what a shrew.
Moving on with your life is the conventional wisdom in these cases, but that path isn't for everyone. Sometimes you don't want to do what's right, you want to do what feels right! For comedic purposes, here we will assume that what feels right to you is "seeking revenge on your ex" and not "living a rich and full life."
Well it turns out that the most successful techniques for irritating your ex are tightly tied to the techniques that originally won her heart. By adapting well established wooing techniques to suit your childish needs, we've created the following list of revenge techniques, sure to mildly annoy your one-time lover.
Dinner at a Fancy Restaurant.
Imagine a night out at a nice restaurant. The pair of you all dressed up in your nicest clothes. The sounds of violin music filter through the mingled conversations of other happy couples. A clever joke and a matching laugh. Candlelight dances across the features of her face. A mischievous smile. Wine is poured. The smile gets bigger. You've never seen her look so happy.
A look which immediately leaves her face when she turns away from her date and sees you, seated across the restaurant, with another man.
To pull this one off, you'll need to know in advance where your ex will spend their time on Valentine's Day. This will involve some form of prior intelligence, like knowing what her favorite restaurant is, or how to tail a car without being spotted. After she arrives, you simply arrive a few minutes later with your own date, a guy named Robert, who despite being a casual acquaintance from work, agreed to wear something snug and provocative in exchange for a free meal.