He Does What Now?
Snaps like a motherfucker.
Bobby Badfingers, who claims the title of world's faster snapper at 30 snaps a second, is a professional snappist whose live act comprises of, according to his website, "mixing finger-snapping with mesmerizing, pelvic-jutting dance moves, which he based on martial arts footwork."
And he looks like this.
Bobby is known for his signature look of tight black pants and a rhinestone-encrusted black silk shirt that exhibits three Robin Williams's worth of chest hair. Bobby not only appeared on America's Got Talent (didn't win) and The Wayne Brady Show, but also claims John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn as close friends. And you know the old saying: You don't get friends like that unless you can snap really fucking fast.
Bobby started his meteoric rise to the top of the snapping heap as you might imagine, as one insanely obnoxious kid. At the age of four, Bobby Von Merta struggled with ADHD, or what doctors then called the much more fucked up sounding Minimal Brain Dysfunction. Bobby's treatment differed little from the treatment we use in modern times: near lethal amounts of Ritalin. Ridiculously hyper and whacked out on horse pills, young Bobby channeled his beautiful mind toward snapping. Once he mastered speed he moved on to syncopation, honing his ability to mimics drum lines he heard on the radio.
And he looks like this.
Oddly enough, when Bobby achieved adulthood he did not immediately shape his supernatural snapping ability into a career. Instead, he said to himself, "What career could I pursue that's actually more detestable than professional snapper?" That's when Bobby became an RV salesman.
Not until a player for an oldies rock band discovered Bobby's amazing snapping chops--yes, he was discovered--did he finally make snapping a full-time job. Once he decided to go pro, Bob changed his name to Bobby Badfingers, presumably because Snappy Snapdouche had already been taken.
Today Bobby performs all over, and by "all over" we mean "Reno." John Stamos's mom reps him. And snapping live is only the tip of Bobby's plans for a "finger-snapping media empire" including a how-to book and instructional DVD titled Snapology 101 for Whippersnappers. Bobby also commissioned a live action/animation series titled Snapmaster Badfingers and His Homies. And because we don't think simply reading that title hurt you enough, here is an episode.
AND HE LOOKS LIKE THIS.