The Official North Korea Website Appears to be the Work of a Lone Middle School Child
Kim Jong-il is a self-proclaimed expert on the Internet, but understandably, Kim was having a hard time getting other people who were not otherwise required by law to believe this. No problem. He would just change their minds with the greatest Democratic People's Republic of Korea website...
The Ridiculous Solution:
... that 1998 can buy!
We'll understand if you're feeling a bit like a kid who's just been set loose at a carnival. But be sure not to miss the official Cafe Press store of the DPRK. Not only are there t-shirts, but most of them are entitled "Propaganda," and then numbered, a la George Foreman's kids.
There is also a FAQ, full of facts about North Korea, but in question form. Nearly all of the answers are some variation on "Who told you that? THEY LIE."
And the last question is one that we're fairly certain isn't frequently asked:
By accepting gay people, but apparently hating glitter scarves, North Korea impressively manages to annoy both red and blue state citizens.
Have we mentioned that the default language of this site is English? And on the older version of the site, Korean is not even listed as a language option?
Wait, it Gets Worse...
Because the main point of the site is to get you to join their fan club: the Korean Friendship Association!
You get a membership card and everything! Just send your information, 50 Euros and a photocopy of your passport, and you can participate in activities that are roughly the same as things you did in your Justin Timberlake fan club.
Please do not actually do this. We make no promises that you will not be stolen from your bed in the middle of the night, or that you will receive a free t-shirt.
But the site is better then nothing. We're sure Somalia is jealous.
The North Korean Amusement Park Will Horrify Your Children
North Korea is kind of like a 12-year-old. It can't support itself because it spends a lot of its allowance on toys and various love letters to Kim Jong-il. And keep in mind "toys" means "weapons." They are always threatening to build a nuclear arsenal, but the world realizes this would be the point the whole North Korea thing would stop being funny.
So North Korea has developed a system where they accept aid from countries in exchange for not running around with nuclear scissors. Which means that North Korea has a bit of a popularity and cash flow problem. Quick, what's a good capitalist pig solution for needing some money and good PR?
The Ridiculous Solution:
Why, opening a tourist resort, of course! A horrible, horrible tourist resort! Sponsored by Hyundai!