Why It's Pointless
It's hard to tell what market the creators were going for with this device (people who wear slippers or people who use computers), because these two groups rarely cross over. Even if you're such a person, it's unlikely these slippers will be much use outside of your home life.
Should you decide to use it at home, you'll be hampered by its very short wire, and most of your time will be spent lunging toward various items around the computer. Worst of all, it takes up two USB slots (one for each slipper) allowing few remaining slots for the rest of your USB-powered attire.
Don't you just love bouncers? Insulting your hairstyle and refusing you access to the hippest clubs? Well now you can have your very own USB-powered bouncer, in case your self-esteem wasn't already low enough. The device is supposed to protect against people stealing your things, and boasts of three unique phrases to scare off thieves, such as "You're not comin' anywhere near here lookin' like that" and "You're cruising for a bruisin'."
The idea being that if some scoundrel should sneak up to your desk when you're away, the device will detect his presence and shout a preprogrammed line at him, thereby shattering his confidence, leaving him to skulk off in shame.
Why It's Pointless
Where do we start?
The creators are apparently relying on the bouncer to intimidate the thief with his 8-inch frame or perhaps with his impressive knowledge of 1950s slang. Obviously this is a ridiculous assumption. In fact the thieves will probably just steal the device itself (we hear criminals are big fans of irony).
We're guessing the device works by means of some motion-detection system, meaning it can't differentiate between possible thieves, random passers-by, and its owner. So if a thief does happen to skulk past your cubicle without noticing all of the highly important spreadsheets you've left open, your handy anti-theft device will helpfully get his attention by yelling insults at him. Just be sure to get your bouncer soon. The price will likely go up once they install one on every computer at the CIA Headquarters in Langley.
If you enjoyed that, but wish the products were deadlier, check out our rundown of The 13 Most Irresponsible Self-Defense Gadgets Money Can Buy. Then, find out about a USB device that's more helpful than the above, though less helpful than Steve Jobs would have you believe. Then, head over to the blog for a video that may be the most embarrassing non-Vista related product that Microsoft has ever produced.