Now, in case you're wondering if the title for this film (that you didn't watch) came from an athlete (that you're not familiar with), who played in a sport (that you aren't interested in), then you are absolutely correct. In an experiment in ridiculous pop-culture references, this unwatchable movie took it's name from the nickname of obscure athlete Rod Smart, a running back in the now-defunct-but-always-irrelevant XFL who had "He Hate Me" on the back of his jersey.
This would be like releasing a movie a year from now titled Leave Britney Alone! if instead of being an Internet meme, that phrase had been the nickname of a player in the WNBA.
Awesome because of:
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, titling a movie Snatch
Clearly unwell because of:
We know some film snobs will question our decision to include Guy Ritchie on a list of awesome directors, but hear us out.
Ritchie is to great directors what Pringles are to vegetables: incredibly unwholesome, but so enjoyable, and undeniably addictive that he's the closest most adolescents get to enjoying one. Oh, and like Pringles, his films look identical to one another. For instance, see if you can tell which Guy Ritchie movie this describes: "London's criminal underworld takes notice of a (random nationality) mobster's shady (random industry) deal, a scam that puts millions of dollars up for grabs."
We actually copied that from the IMDB plot synopsis of his upcoming RocknRolla, but it works just as well for Lock, Stock and Snatch. And, really, that's fine with us because Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Snatches is brilliant garbage and you get the feeling his "blood-drenched-cockney" sensibilities wouldn't really work out in, say, a chick flick. Ritchie apparently didn't get that same feeling, and in 2002 made the erotic satire Swept Away.
Perhaps you remember it as that movie neither you nor anyone you know saw. To fill you in, it's about a rich woman (Madonna) and a poor deck hand (some Italian dude) who get marooned on a desert island and, facing imminent starvation, proceed to fuck each other blind.
Trying to figure out what went wrong here is like trying to figure out which bullet killed Sonny Corleone at the toll booth. First of all, unless Nora Ephron decides to direct Tango & Cash 2, we can't imagine anyone taking on a project further outside their wheelhouse. But more importantly, he cast Madonna as the lead even though she is known to be a terrible actress, by all accounts an intimidating bitch to work with and widely rumored to be HIS FUCKING WIFE.