The Cause of "Death"
Nope. Not even a couple. Only one person turned up for Amir's funeral, and that was his mother. This would only be kind of crushingly depressing, if Amir hadn't actually staged his death just to see how popular he was.
Now, we've all thought about what it would be like to watch our own funeral. You're curious, you want to find out who shows up, who doesn't, who cries and what members of the opposite sex would blurt out how they've always wanted to have filthy sex with you. Deciding the stew of sympathy was too much to resist, Amir hatched an elaborate plan to fake his own death, then forged a death certificate and bribed an undertaker to deliver the coffin. For his trouble, he learned first hand why most of us only think about our funerals.
Considerably more people mourned the passing of the Frasier dog.
See, there's no good outcome. If lots of people show up, they'll hate you when they discover the lie and, as Amir learned, if no one shows up, they already hate you. After no one showed up to his funeral, Amir learned a valuable lesson about life and, in an effort to change his ways... oh wait, no, he sent strongly worded letters to the 45 "friends" who didn't attend, which, really Amir, is an impossible stance to take. If they didn't care enough to attend your funeral when they thought you were actually dead, finding out that you're both alive and the creepiest guy they know probably isn't going to do the trick.