It has been a good year for violence in sports. The Miami-FIU mega-brawl was just the latest in an eventful string of cleat-footed-stomps and backup-kicker-knife-attacks. But the players don't deserve all the credit. We need to remember that behind every one of these raging athletes is a wrathful coach with a hair-trigger temper showing them what temporary insanity is all about. Here are five of the best at their most furious.
Manager of the Asheville TouristsWhat Brought it On:
Can't tell. It' a minor league baseball game, so no one was filming until it became clear that shit was going down. In fact, it' a testament to the artistry displayed in this flip out that someone would actually waste the battery power and blank VHS tape on a game featuring a team called the Tourists.
How it Went Down:
Mikulik doesn't really lose his temper here. That phrase implies a person with a generally fair disposition has temporarily and briefly succumbed to anger. But the marathon length of Mikulik' vitriol can only suggest that this is his true temperament. For four stormy minutes, he throws bases, chucks bats, kicks dirt, clears the dirt away with a squirt bottle, all at a hyper speed that makes him look like he' in one of those old-fashioned Chaplin movies where everything' sped up 20-percent too fast.
Head Coach of the Arizona CardinalsWhat Brought it On:
As the old saying goes, sometimes the other team beats you, sometimes you beat yourself and sometimes you shit the bed in front of the largest audience that will ever watch you do your job. This third version of losing is what immediately preceded this meltdown for Green and his Cardinals.
How it Went Down:
Football coaches speak a language that is all their own. It consists of short phrases repeated over and over again that sound as though they should make sense, but when you think about them, really mean nothing at all. On the sidelines, they'll usually just jumble together a mixture of the phrases, "Not in our house!" "Catch the ball!" "Keep your head on a swivel!" and "Fuck." However, in the post-game press conferences, when they have to string together coherent thoughts, they sometimes run into problems.
Green clearly speaks the language fluently, because although the phrase sounds like it should make sense, and clearly he believes it does, "The Bears are who we thought they were"--Green's mantra in this tirade--doesn't make sense the first time. Or the second, third or fourth. At the time of this writing, it is still unclear whether this clip would be as funny if Green didn't have Tiger Woods' voice.
Head Basketball Coach of Indiana UniversityWhat Brought it On:
Who knows. Maybe the Hoosiers got screwed on a call. Maybe someone in the front row was talking too loud for his liking. We're pretty sure Bobby Knight just wanted to throw something, and his assistant coach cried too much the last time he threw him.How it Went Down:
In light of sports violence like this season' Haynesworth stomp, Bobby Knight' famous chair throw looks pretty tame. In fact, it' not even really a throw. He just slides it along the floor like an angry shuffleboard player.