This Is The Best Episode Of ‘Veep’

There is a single line reading in all of television history that is permanently seared into my brain. Even if you’ve never seen Veep, it’s possible you’ve seen the clip of Julia Louise-Dreyfus delivering this dialogue: 

“That's like trying to use croissant as a fucking dildo. I–no no no, let me be more clear. It doesn't do the job and it makes a goddamn mess.”

In three short sentences, a picture is painted. It’s a vivid, nasty picture. But the dialogue alone isn’t what makes the scene from Season 1, Episode 5 of Veep so unforgettable. Rather it is the way Dreyfus lets out the words. She berates her staff for one of their numerous screw ups but doesn’t get loud at first. 

Instead, Dreyfus drops a few decibels in volume first, making the explosive land on “mess,” hit even harder. It’s a study in perfect comedic timing and delivery; the way Dreyfus pronounces “croissant” as the correct French pronunciation that sounds like “cwoissan;” the way her teeth grind together, contorting the lines of her face into something vicious. At that moment, Dreyfus was the funniest person on the planet. 

Somehow, this wasn’t even the episode HBO entered into consideration for Veep’s first Emmy season. Dreyfus was submitted for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for Season 1, Episode 8, “Tears.” It was the first of several Emmys Dreyfus won for the show. 

But Episode 5, “Nickames,” packs in everything that makes Veep legendary comedic television. The plot of the episode centers on Vice President Selina Meyers (Dreyfus) increasingly obsessed with nicknames given to her by bloggers as she stews over repeated snubs from her boss, the president. The names the press bestowed on her include “Viagra Prohibitor,” "Mammary Meyer," "Grizzly Madam," "Betty Poop," "The Wicked Witch of the West Wing," "Veep Throat," and “Vaselina.”

In the 26 minutes, Episode 5 also gives us some of the most foundational strengths of each main character. White House aide Jonah Ryan (Timothy Simons) makes everything already going wrong remarkably worse. VP Press Secretary Mike McClintock (Matt Walsh) writes absolutely terrible jokes for Meyer to read at an important event. VP Chief of Staff Amy Brookheimer (Anna Chlumsky) tries and fails to put out fires started by Meyer. 

As the episode reaches its crescendo, and the bill that Meyer wants to pass gets dropped by the president in favor of his own agenda, Meyer wonders why she ever got into politics. Her doubt reaches peak when she’s put on a taskforce to fight obesity. A totally defeated Meyer exclaims: “I've got to say, ‘I'm the Vice President of the United States, put the cupcake down!' That's now my job?”

If you only ever watched one episode of Veep, it should be this one.