Veep: 15 Times Julia Louis-Dreyfus Made Us Blush
HBO’s Veep opened a door to the real-world conversations politicians have behind closed doors. At least, we assume that’s what goes on, as Julia Louis Dreyfus’s character, Selina Meyer, was so convincing she received six Emmys. Meyer’s foul mouth and brutal work tactics gave us some great burns over the show’s seven seasons, so here are 15 of the most heinous (in a good way).
Like Using A Croissant
“That’s like trying to use a croissant as a f***ing dildo. No, let me be more clear. It doesn't do the job and it makes a f***ing mess.”
This is true. Don't ask how I know.
So That’s A No
“Let’s see I’d rather set fire to my vulva…so that’s a no.”
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this I'd have two nickels from when I first heard it and when I had to look it up again just now.
Dan’s Evil Face
“Ok Dan, because with your face. When you try to be charming it really does come off as, as evil.”
This actually applies to most politicians.
If You Want Cardio
“If you want to get some cardio exercise you have to have a heart.”
A deeper, more existential burn from Vice President Myers.
Explaining Gravity To A Chicken
“Amy This is like explaining gravity to a chicken.”
Cliff’s reaction to Meyers’s white-hot rage is exactly how I would react in the same situation. Like making eye contact with a god before your body turns to ash. See the full video here.
Three F*cks You’re Out
“Don't talk. Don't stay. You need to f*ck off and go back to Westworld. You need to f*ck off. I said f*ck off. Three f*cks you’re out.”
Westworld Robot watching that episode of Veep: “Ah hey cool haha.”
What The F*ck Amy
“I am putting out two fires in there and I turn around to find out that you set fire to the f***ing firetruck?”
This whisper-screaming rant at Amy showcases Julia’s talent for switching from berating to proper etiquette like a light.
Sex And Travel
Selina: “Hey listen, settle something for me. You like to have sex and you like to travel?”
Jonah: “Yes Mam”
Selina: “Then you can f*ck off.”
Put On Your Running Shoes
"Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the f--king point, Jonah?"
Selina Slams A Congresswoman
This speech is so vulgar I don’t know if I’m legally allowed to type out a quote from it. (You're not -Ed)
Tuck Your Shirt In
“Tuck your shirt in. Ok? Your d*ck is hanging out of your pants.”
If Men Got Pregnant
"If men got pregnant you could get an abortion at an ATM."
Selina On People
“Really Amy? Because I’ve met some people. Real people. And a lot of them are f***ing idiots.”
The sooner you learn this in life the better. This applies to everyone except the person reading this, specifically.
Selina On Democracy
Meyer breaks down what democracy really is. Sorry snowflake army!!
Throw Up A Leg
“I am going to throw up a leg. Then I am going to take that leg and beat Scott to death with it.”
Use this burn the next time you eat an entire leg.
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Top Image: HBO