Here’s a 43-Minute Stand-up Set on the Louvre Art Heist

In a time as bleak as ours, with cruelty and stupidity competing for cultural dominance, a good old fashion jewel heist has done wonders to raise spirits for everyone but the French. In a historic theft at the world’s most famous museum, $102 million worth of jewels were taken by a group in broad daylight. 

Breaking into the museum in broad daylight, the thieves dressed as maintenance workers and climbed in via a ladder up the side of the building. Real Ocean’s 11 type shit. Unfortunately, two of the suspected thieves were apprehended recently, putting a rather somber end on what ultimately felt like an uplifting Robin Hood-esque tale. 

But, even with the dour news of the arrests, there’s still plenty of humor to find in the situation, courtesy of Josh Johnson’s latest YouTube comedy special, released on Tuesday. Totaling at just under 45 minutes, the set is dedicated to the art of crime, particularly the art of heists like the one that took place at the Louvre. 

Johnson starts with an enthralling 10 minutes on the double robbery that occurred at a trap house and a stash house. (For those who don’t know what those are, don’t worry, Johnson gives a breakdown.) Then he dives into the larger idea of our fascination with criminals writ large and why the Louvre itself is such a globally recognized cultural powerhouse. 

His description of the Louvre alone is worth tuning in for: “People go there, and then they act like they’ve been changed by art. And you ask them what they saw, they can’t name anything or anybody.” 

As someone guilty of this exact thing, yeah, that’s what going to the Louvre is like. 

Next, Johnson details the set-up of this mind-boggling heist: “There were these robbers that broke in, and they broke in dressed as construction workers, right? They had actually rented this like powerlifting vehicle that had a ladder that would bring them up to the next level where they could cut in cuz they brought tools to cut in through the window and enter that way. They didn’t want to just come through the front. And it made sense that they were dressed as construction workers as the Louvre is under construction permanently. Why is Europe never finished?”

In the rest of the set, Johnson uses his slow, analytical approach to tear apart the story from every angle — the security guards, the biggest threats museums normally face (children), the number of replicas generally on display (a lot) and the whole “European museums are the first thieves” aspect of it all. 

I only wish Johnson had done this set after we found out the thieves are allegedly Algerian. But hey, there’s always next week’s show.