Trump Holds Phallic Trophy in White House Event That’s Straight Out of ‘South Park’
The most recent episode of South Park brought back this season’s breakout character: Canadian Saddam Hussein/Donald Trump. This time, the dictatorial president with near-invisible genitals is hard at work in the White House, receiving a long line of wealthy visitors, who all show up bearing largely phallic bribes.
In addition to bringing luxury gifts, the guests — including big tech CEOs such as Apple’s Tim Cook and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg — ensure that their regulatory favors will be granted by buttering up the Commander-in-Chief with heavy-handed, blatantly insincere compliments. They praise his intelligence, compliment his leadership abilities and pointedly stress that he “does not have a small penis.”
Further proving that South Park’s rendering of Trump barely qualifies as a parody, just two days after the episode dropped, the president held a press event in the Oval Office with FIFA president Gianni Infantino. During the meeting Trump announced that the “draw for the 2026 men’s World Cup will take place in Washington this December.”
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That would sound a lot more fun if Washington, D.C. wasn’t currently under military occupation, which Towelie got to see firsthand.
Infantino, who, incidentally, recently opened a FIFA office in Trump Tower, then presented Trump with the World Cup trophy, sycophantically proclaiming that it’s “for winners only,” before underscoring the more Freudian aspects of the moment by informing Trump, “since you are a winner, of course you can as well touch it.”
Although he did give the golden phallus a good touching, Trump wasn’t allowed to keep the trophy (although he did joke about it). But that didn’t stop people from comparing the awkward event to this week’s South Park. If someone were to recreate the meeting in South Park's trademark cut-out animation style, they honestly wouldn’t have to change a single word in order to make it work with the rest of the episode.
Of course, the South Park scene was already a virtual recreation of our dumb reality. For example, Cook really did give Trump a “one-of-a-kind, U.S.-made glass plaque” after ensuring that Apple would be spared from a “looming 100 percent tariff on imported semiconductors and chips” earlier this month (although it’s unclear if he tried to shove it up Satan’s ass). This was in addition to the million-dollar donations that both Cook and Zuckerberg ponied up for Trump’s inauguration fund.
And for all we know, when the cameras weren’t rolling, Infantino tried to convince the president that he doesn’t really have the genitals of a chihuahua puppy.