Why Peter Thiel Became the Exorcist in Tonight’s ‘South Park’
Much to the confusion of childless fans over the age of 30, this week’s episode of South Park, “Twisted Christian,” took inspiration from the “6-7” meme.
After South Park Elementary’s students obsess over the viral joke, Power Christian Principal becomes concerned that something nefarious is going on. So, despite the fact that Jesus Christ is literally a school employee, he decides to seek help from the “highest authority on Biblical prophecies” around: Peter Thiel.
And, yes, he has his own theme song, “Peter Thiel Knows About the Antichrist.”
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The billionaire venture capitalist then lectures the kids about the coming of the Antichrist, aka Satan and Donald Trump’s “Butt Baby.” Thiel explains that God prevented the coming of the Antichrist by shrinking Satan’s asshole so that “nothing could ever penetrate or ejaculate inside of it.” Until Donald Trump came along, that is. Apparently the president’s “penis is so teeny-tiny it could actually fit in Satan’s asshole.”
In the end, Cartman’s vomit-inducing laughter prompts Thiel to assume he’s possessed by a demon, paving the way for a parody of The Exorcist that includes a “Tubular Bells”-esque version of “Peter Thiel Knows About the Antichrist.”
Why is the PayPal guy suddenly playing Max Von Sydow to Cartman’s Linda Blair? Viewers who haven’t been checking up on Thiel lately may not be aware that he recently gave four two-hour lectures about the antichrist “on behalf of ACTS 17 Collective,” a nonprofit “dedicated to Acknowledging Christ in Technology and Society.”
While the lectures were private, they made headlines after recordings leaked to the media. And somehow, the content of those lectures was even more unhinged than anything he said on the most recent South Park. It’s one thing to try and exorcise a 10-year-old kid in order to prevent the birth of Satan and Trump’s love child, it’s quite another to suggest that the Antichrist might be either 22-year-old activist Greta Thunberg or “A.I. doomer” Eliezer Yudkowsky.
“In the 17th, 18th century, the Antichrist would have been a Dr. Strangelove, a scientist who did all this sort of evil crazy science,” Thiel said during one lecture. “In the 21st century, the Antichrist is a Luddite who wants to stop all science. It’s someone like Greta or Eliezer.”
It’s unclear whether or not a jaunty theme song would have made these lectures seem less embarrassingly deranged.