7 Times America’s Grandma Betty White Told Sex Jokes
David Boreanaz was celebrating the 20th anniversary of Bones at a recent event when he told a story about Betty White, who appeared as a guest star in 2015. “Emily (Deschanel) and I are waiting for her,” he remembered, per People. “And she’s like, ‘Good to see you. Oh, good to see you. You’re so nice. You’re so pretty.’ She goes up to Emily — ‘Oh, you’re so pretty.’”
Her reaction to Boreanaz had a different flavor. “She looks at me, she goes, ‘Holy shit, I want to fuck you.’”
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Boreanaz burst out laughing, the usual reaction White got when she delivered a dirty line in her sweet grandma voice. Here are seven more times White broke up audiences by delivering naughty jokes…
Where No Man Has Gone Before
At William Shatner’s roast, White managed to scorch Shatner and George Takei with a single burn. “I’ve been a huge Trekkie ever since the show first aired,” she said. “That’s why I’m so thrilled to see Nichelle (Nichols) and George Takei here tonight because, let’s face it, we all know Shatner’s nuts. But George has actually tasted them.”
Shatner, Part Deux
During an appearance on The Late Late Show with James Corden, White appeared with Kyle MacLachlan. On Portlandia, he explained, he was asked to improvise an anthem of Portland. MacLachlan looked for a hook, and “for some reason, I just felt William Shatner come over me.”
“Oh,” laughed Betty, “I wish I could say the same.”
Delicious Dish
As baker Florence Dusty, White got off several double entendres on this SNL Delicious Dish sketch, including:
- “If there’s one thing I’m known for, it’s my muffin.”
- “My muffin hasn’t had a cherry since 1939.”
- “When I was younger, I was so concerned with how my muffin looked. But as I got older, I started to think to heck with it! This is my muffin, and I don’t care how it looks.”
- “As I used to say to my loving husband Irving of 55 years, what are you waiting for, stupid, eat it!”
Busy Beaver
On a talk show appearance with George Lopez, the host marveled at her work ethic. “You’re in every movie!”
White acknowledged the compliment. “I’m such a whore, I can’t say no.”
Buzzkill
During an insult fest with Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show, White revealed that her home had been without power since a massive rainstorm. “It’s been freezing,” she said, “and you don’t realize the number of things you do electrically.”
As Rivers collapsed in hysterics at the implication, White brought it home. “I’m so lonely!”
Moving on Up
During Shatner’s roast, White made her way around the dais, insulting her fellow roasters one by one. “Look at that Patton Oswalt,” she cooed. “So adorable. He’s like a plump little troll. Backstage, I caught him going up on Farrah Fawcett.”
Sex with Shatner
But White saved one of her best dirty jokes for the man himself. “I’m not ashamed to say that I once had sex with Bill Shatner,” she confessed. “Oh, you should’ve seen him sweating and grunting and so red in the face and wheezing. Finally I said, ‘Bill, you better hurry up and finish; in two minutes they're gonna start the roast.’”