Dennis’ Censor-Dreaded Dog Scene on Tonight’s ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Didn’t Disappoint

Dennis Reynolds definitely doesn’t “have that dawg in him,” as Mac would say — but he might still have that dog on him.

Nine months ago, Rob Mac revealed that he was at war with Disney’s censors over a planned scene in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 17 that would feature Dennis extracting a semen sample from a dog. “Any graphic bestiality simulation must be avoided for cuts airing on both FX linear channel & the Hulu platform,” Standards and Practices warned the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia creator. 

However, Mac isn’t one to back down from a challenge, and seeing as fortune favors the bold, he pushed past those roadblocks and got a version of the scene — albeit less graphic than he likely intended — into tonight’s new Always Sunny episode, “The Gang Goes to A Dog Track.”

Despite the back-and-forth between the Disney censors and the Always Sunny writers, in “The Gang Goes to A Dog Track,” Dennis really does canonically “milk” a champion racing dog, thus earning Frank a pretty penny and losing what’s left of his (and Disney’s) dignity.

“The Gang Goes to A Dog Track” begins with the Paddy’s Pub Gang on a Greyhound bus as they head toward what they think will be a horse-racing track somewhere in the American South, where Dennis and Dee can live out their fantasies of wearing fancy, colorful clothes and drinking mint julips with the cultural elite. Frank breaks that dream by revealing that the group is actually going to a dog track where he is a minority owner of a prized hound, foreshadowing how he will soon break Dennis and Dee’s spirits and bring them to heel.

At the track, Frank takes Dennis and Dee into the owners’ box, where he gets into an argument with his supposed co-owner about the stud rights to their racing dog, Pennies From Heaven. Frank offers Dennis and Dee ample payment if they can sneak into the kennel before the race and “milk” the dog on camera in order to fulfill the wishes of Frank’s Saudi Arabian racing partners, a proposition that the twins refuse with prejudice. But when Frank’s increasingly grotesque gambling propositions render Dennis and Dee penniless and shirtless, the two resolve to earn back their dignity and their fancy suits in (doggy) style.

With Dee filming, Dennis masturbates Pennies From Heaven and secures the sperm sample on camera before showing off the video to the entire owners’ box. Frank is elated at the development. But as Dennis and Dee soon learn, they’re not due for a payout, nor does Frank even have Saudi Arabian business connections. Instead, Frank tricked them into jerking off a dog as part of an elaborate bet with his supposed co-owner, and Dennis was the real dog all along.

While the money shot that Mac fought to keep in “The Gang Goes to A Dog Track” may not have been quite as explicit as he originally intended, the final product will still have more disturbed Always Sunny fans howling with laughter as they watch Dennis expel what’s left of his self-respect all over the stunned owners’ box. The first joke that Mac ever teased for Always Sunny Season 17 stuck the landing, despite the sticky situation with the censors, and the icing on this cake is that Dennis is the very character who, five seasons ago, told all of Philadelphia that he hates dogs and believes that he should be allowed to slaughter and eat them.

I wouldn’t eat that icing, however.