Last week, San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano bravely introduced reasoned, serious legislation about confronting, revising, and ultimately turning California’s oppressive marijuana laws to our benefit. In these trying economic times, it just makes sense. That’s why I’m throwing my full support behind Assemblyman Ammiano, and in fact, to honor his brave act, I’m going to take ten massive bong rips before continuing to write this.
There. The deed is done.
And before all you conservative naysayers start accusing me of “devilry,” allow me to prove without a doubt that the legalization of marijuana sales will actually decrease crime and overall drug use. This assumption is based on three basic arguments.
Every year, hundreds of people are maimed and killed and millions of dollars are lost to brutal and organized illegal drug traffickers. By legalizing and intelligently regulating marijuana consumption we can make it so that this doesn’t happen because all those people who did that now have no jobs. Also there will be less people in our jails. My word is it hot here. It’s like the room temperature just jumped 20 degrees. Let’s see, where was I … Ah yes.
No more laced weed! Poople who sell drugs often put lace in the drugs and that is bad. With legal weed, the government (Uncle Sam) will only put in the best ingredients by hand, and therefore no one will be addicted, except to America, and that is okay. I’m going to take my shirt off now.
Whoopty whoop nigga what?
Dre n’ snoop chronic’ed out
In the ‘llac with doc in the back
Sippin’ ‘gnac, clip in the strap
Bidniss. Bidniss. BID-niss. bidniss.
Oh my God did it type what I said? This is really weird. Jesus, it’s typing all of this!
Oh, my God, my hands are doing it! This is so weird. It’s like they’re turning my thoughts into written words. They are the vehicle. They are the viaduct. They are the truth and the way. Aaaaaaaaaaaah (angels come down).
This is my hands. Hello. I am hands.
In the old days, they used “f” for “s.” Okay, that’s
If anyone has a quesadilla, please leave it in the commentf fection.
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 5:00 am and is filed under Bacon, California, Drugs, Goldeneye, Law, Marijuana, Mudflaps, San Francisco. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
HAHAHAHA duuuuuude I’m toooootally stoooned out of my mind right fucking noooooooooow, this sooooooooooo acurate duuuuuuuude
November 13th, 2009 at 1:33 am
That’s so true. They have proved that more teens drink alcohol because it’s illegal and hard to get. They should consider that factor too.
November 8th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Not to mention if you made all the (drug dealers) pay 250 to 300 dollars to go to a college or some kind of serv safe type class. then they can get a little business degree deal and hire drivers….thats creating more jobs as well, and make the laws just like alcohol not old enough too fucking bad dont smoke while you drive…tell any stoner he can go legally buy weed but can only smoke it at home and I would personally think most the people would just chill and get ripped of course theres fucking idiots who drink and drive but it would be considerably hard for the 5-0 to catch everyone high….thats my two cents
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
They are the vehicle. They are the viaduct. They are the truth and the way. Aaaaaaaaaaaah (angels come down).
This is my hands. Hello. I am hands.
November 1st, 2009 at 5:12 am
10 hits would put any hardened pot smoker out of action. i challenge this claim.
BALLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS is what.
toke!
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:28 am
The teacher has already disrespected me by not acknowledging me as an individual. ,
October 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Nice one Swaim. Couldn’t have put it better myself.
No really I couldn’t have, I’m completely sober.
Anyone got a joint…….
October 9th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I want weed now.
And I want Swaim, in my pants.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:39 am
In honor of the article and the fact that Im awake, I will now reach into my stash and pull out a undetermined amount of marijuana which i will then ceremoniuosly roll up and smoke while listening to pandora. I will then go to calculus 2 and take awesome fucking notes and just be high in general, all the while shielding myself from the propaganda bullshit thats surrounds me. After all, what else is there to do?
September 27th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Michael Swaim, You are a genius. I love you and want to have your babies while smoking pounds of weed
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
you know i tried to read this. but my stoner mentallity told me it was a bad idea.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:54 pm
I am going to smoke a bowl right now in celebration of this article.
September 11th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Tibblepiss, that’s a load of…
Well, tibbles.
And piss.
And also some bullshit.
Surprisingly, NOT EVERYONE LIKES WHAT YOU LIKE.
I know.
This shit is revolutionary.
Also?
The Earth revolves around the Sun.
Yeah.
September 11th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Weed is dangerous. It will make you enjoy life and see through bullshit more often. We can’t have that. DiGiorno and Visine would take over the world!
August 31st, 2009 at 1:13 am
a big problem with current laws regarding weed is that the danger is so exaggerated (an obvious fact to anyone who’s ever smoked it before) that it makes all drug laws look at least suspect, if not like a total load of made-up bullshit.
it might lend a little credibility to anti-drug policies if weed were removed from the list of banned substances all together. After all, weed is currently listed as more dangerous than both PCP and Cocaine. what kind of message does it seem policymakers are sending once someone discovers that weed is, at worst, no more dangerous than beer?
the “logical” conclusion is that if weed isn’t bad then PCP (or any other drug, for that matter) must have all the danger of a Flintstones Chewable. The sad thing is some people won’t look any further than this flawed argument and will end up playing roulette with their lives.
oh, and fun fact: never quote a study about the effects of a drug without looking carefully. some studies have shown mice to have severe effects from pot… but only after they were given about 1000x the normal dosage. Pretty much, they finally got a bad reaction after the equivalent of being trapped for months in a wildfire in a forest of pot. in those quantities, i bet we could prove spinach is dangerous.
August 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I don’t think the world is nice enough to legalize 420, but you never know. Also pot fights cancer, works as an anti-depressant, cures anorexia, and gives you clearer vision. And thanks to growers all over the states there is a way to grow it anywhere you can think of, and I do mean anywhere!
August 18th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Definitely worth the read
August 9th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Funny weed story, i was on vacation in the ATL last week, and my cousin went to college park to buy some chronic and on the highway, we were caught speeding, so i hid the weed under my scrotum. my cuz then said that he was “trippin’ balls”
July 31st, 2009 at 6:59 am
Here ya go, druggy: free quesadilla!
July 28th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Man. . . we are on the exaaaaaaaaacct same wavelength. wave-length
July 18th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
props for this article.
i’d just like to say that the only people who don’t like weed are the ones who’ve never tried it…you know who you are.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
[...] To legalize, or not to legalize? This may help. [...]
June 16th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Smoking weed is terrible for you.
….use a vaporizer instead.
June 12th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
b5200: Yeah, that’s all cool until you realize that weed actually does hurt you.
June 12th, 2009 at 1:45 am
I love how stuff that is shit tons worse than weed is legal(alcohol) but they can’t figure out weed isn’t dangerous. Teens these days have to sit through some of the dumbest shit with anti-drug speeches and bullshit every week (thursdays suck). The entire thing was the classic definition of brainwashing just saying the same mindless shit over and over about the temporary effects and saying how being high isn’t fun and it’s a bad experience. I feel bad for all the people buying into it and creating another generation of pointlessly illegal substances.
Sorry for the bad spelling and grammar, I’m more than a little sleep deprived right now.
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Hey,
I’m from Holland. where weed is partially legal (government controlled pretty much) and we have statisticly (% wise) less drug addicts and less crime then countries where weed is Illegal.
You are allowed to grow up to 3 female marijuana plants for own use and theres a lot of other rules around weed usage but its allowed.
We don’t put people who use drugs in jails either… Here we believe that people know its bad for you, and your not forced to use it. So we allow people to make the choice.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:21 am
I smoked a bowl in honor of this article. Weed has such lovely qualities. Naysayers just need to do it once, and they’ll be smitten too.
May 15th, 2009 at 10:21 am
i love you.
lol
April 20th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Best Article Ever
This still funny a month and a half later. Happy 420!
April 19th, 2009 at 6:34 am
Namaste!
Smoking the herb is only “the cherry on top”. The reward for your efforts planting the stuff if you will.
Because; consider the following:
1 The medicine that can be produced!
2 Clothing from the hard hemp fibres. Stronger than jeans, more comfortable, cool in summer and warm in winter.
3 Ropes and so on also from the hard fibres.
4 Paper: One hectares of hemp equals four hectares of trees. Trees take five years to reach maturaty. Herb only +/- six month.
With the way shit’s going now with jobs and everything. Just think of how much work can be created with just this one plant.
….And everyone will be happy at work!!!! :):):)
April 11th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I don’t know what all of you are talking about…Marijuana is legal. I smoke it everyday.
April 5th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
quesadilla
April 4th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Can you say MINDBLOW!
April 4th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
haha this is hillarious
April 4th, 2009 at 1:09 am
A lot of people missing the point here. If weed is a gateway drug, although the evidence does not support it, then that is a argument for making it legal.
If it is a gateway drug then it is not a good situation for you to be buying it form a guy who also might sell cocaine etc.
So legalise it. Last time i checked you couldn’t buy heroin off the guy you buy your beer from.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:31 pm
I would think the drug cartels in Mexico would go largely out of business if marijuana was legal in Mexico. You can’t just blame it on us.
March 30th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Anybody else here pissed off about Obama laughing in our faces (he also offered no explanation whatsoever) when questioned on this very valid issue affecting millions of Americans not to mention the thousands of mexicans killed every year because of an absurd law?When you wake up from your next “weed nap” think about writing a letter to your congressman or the president himself and letting them know just how many of us there really are. I don’t know about the rest of you but I for one am tired of being treated like a child and talked down too as though my views were invalid and rediculous.
March 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
smokin weed makes ya smart, g
March 28th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
No man, It’s dave
March 27th, 2009 at 9:56 am
hippie* I’m doing good today.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:55 am
I think that hippy is starting to kick in…
March 26th, 2009 at 11:18 am
my hands can touch anything, but themselves …… oh wait …
March 25th, 2009 at 6:32 am
i dont know why they call them fingers, i never see them fing.
oh, there they go.
March 25th, 2009 at 3:28 am
Dave’s not here, man.
March 24th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
strangley, I believe I followed you on your journey with your hands. i, i think i love you….
March 24th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Man duuuuuuddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeee you straight and freakin fresh dawg. and i respect that shit. k? keeep doing what you do man
March 24th, 2009 at 4:15 am
“This is my hands. Hello. I am hands.” did it for me.
March 23rd, 2009 at 7:03 pm
haha! you high bitch! hahahah!!!!
March 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I was rolling on e this weekend. Marijuana is officially not that cool.
March 23rd, 2009 at 12:11 pm
LMAO
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I for one agree that glue should be legalized, but under govermental restrictions so that the old people dont OD…
March 22nd, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Wow, that’s good shit!
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:09 pm
dude. swaim. sometimes i doubt your writing abilities, but when you hit on something you’re good at writing, my god does it work. jesus this is the funnist thing i’ve read in a very long time. i don’t know if it’s a glitch with the new website layout, but the youtube video being super tiny on the right is friggin hilarious. you’re a genius.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:24 am
weed is the shit. totally should be legalized. but, with my luck, pennsylvania will be the last state (If at all) to do so..
March 21st, 2009 at 2:36 am
K74…. it is now illeagal because the government cant tax it.. your right…. although there is a strain the british government is working on that might actually lower the chances of mental problems across the board.. in theory this could be sold at a very very cheap price cutting out the blackmarket for weed with the sales pitch “makes your head better”
but the reason it was outlawed in the first place in western society was in america…. to prevent both blacks and mexicans from being able to do… well anything.. at one point it was mostly mexicns smoking it.. and then subsiquently blacks…. and the american government found a way of making being a mexican illeagal… by making the weed that he has illeagal… you can round up mexicans if there all suspected of holding an illeagal substance!
the worst thing about the entire situation is that anti- weed legislation is straight up retarded.. i mean both the uk and america have been doing intense studies on weed/ extacy/ lsd and found that if you want to accept it or not none of these are dangerous substances, its retards put behind the driving wheel of the drugs that ruin it for the rest of us!
GATEWAYDRUGS : NICOTINE AND ALCOHOL
now i no people will probably argue somewhere along the line… but accept it, most of the people in western society use alcohol and nicotine when there young (at least relativley young), these are addictive substances that alter your mind state… these are the gateway drugs!!!!
March 20th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
this is the best thing i ever read! (L)
March 20th, 2009 at 10:37 am
THE SOUNDTRACK MAKES IT
March 20th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Would weed still be $125 an ounce if it were legalized? People that work on pot farms are paid obscene amounts of money due to the fact it’s illegal. With legalization, the price of labor would go way down. My dad is a farmer and sells a bushel of corn for roughly $7. A bushel is basically a large basket. Enough corn to last you month, assuming you eat one ear every day, probably costs no more than $5 to produce, yet you’d spend $1 to have it as a side item at a restaurant. Why? Because it is transported and processed by god knows how many workers who all have to be paid.
There is no way legalized weed would continue to cost $125 an ounce unless the taxes were jacked up that high, which is possible given the circumstances.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
*For the record, I found myself having to stop typing due to fits of persistent giggles and snickerings*
I find the below comment about Cannabis (Or Marijuana specifically) being a gateway drug so funny/retardedly inaccurate, I find myself with a laughably-sized urge to paste the below segments from NORML.org.
(NORML: National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws)
It is By Far the best “shut-down” response I’ve heard to date when faced with this accusation.
———-
Critics claim that marijuana is a “gateway drug.” How do you respond to this charge?
There is no conclusive evidence that the effects of marijuana are causally linked to the subsequent use of other illicit drugs. Preliminary animal studies alleging that marijuana “primed” the brain for other drug-taking behavior have not been replicated, nor are they supported by epidemiological human data. Statistically, for every 104 Americans who have tried marijuana, there is only one regular user of cocaine, and less than one user of heroin. Marijuana is clearly a “terminus” rather than a gateway for the overwhelming majority of marijuana smokers.
For those minority of marijuana smokers who do graduate to harder substances, it is marijuana prohibition — which forces users to associate with the illicit drug black market — rather than the use of marijuana itself, that often serves as a doorway to the world of hard drugs. The more users become integrated in an environment where, apart from cannabis, hard drugs can also be obtained, the greater the chances they will experiment with harder drugs.
In Holland, where politicians decided over 25 years ago to separate marijuana from the illicit drug market by permitting coffee shops all over the country to sell small amounts of marijuana to adults, individuals use marijuana and other drugs at rates less than half of their American counterparts.
——–
Ah, what the hell! I’ll even paste the segment about Marijuana being addictive too! Just for sh*ts and giggles!!
——–
But isn’t marijuana addictive?
Substantial research exists regarding marijuana and addiction. While the scientific community has yet to achieve full consensus on this matter, the majority of epidemiological and animal data demonstrate that the reinforcing properties of marijuana in humans is low in comparison to other drugs of abuse, including alcohol and nicotine. According to the U.S. Institute of Medicine (IOM), fewer than one in 10 marijuana smokers become regular users of the drug, and most voluntary cease their use after 34 years of age. By comparison, 15 percent of alcohol consumers and 32 percent of tobacco smokers exhibit symptoms of drug dependence.
According to the IOM, observable cannabis withdrawal symptoms are rare and have only been identified under unique patient settings. These remain limited to adolescents in treatment facilities for substance abuse problems, and in a research setting where subjects were given marijuana or THC daily. Compared with the profound physical syndrome of alcohol or heroin withdrawal, marijuana-related withdrawal symptoms are mild and subtle. Symptoms may include restlessness, irritability, mild agitation and sleep disruption. However, for the overwhelming majority of marijuana smokers, these symptoms are not severe enough to re-initiate their use of cannabis.
——-
Feel free to visit NORML.org for all your Pro-Cannabis news and updates.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I used to hate when people called weed a gateway drug until I realized that me and all my friends now love doing other crazy drugs and weed happened to be the first. hmmmm…
Also if you’re an 18 yo high school grad who fucked up his gpa smoking weed and thus will work for his dad and/or his way up to assistant manager one day, congratulations on making your very existence anti-drug propaganda.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:59 am
So, was this article in favor of legalizing weed or…?
March 19th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Lol. He said “poople.”
March 19th, 2009 at 3:40 am
Don’t worry k74, it’s not that intelligent anyway.
March 18th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Resistence is footile, all will be assimalatedd.
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaHHHNN!
March 18th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
The only real reason marijuana is illegal is taxes. It has nothing to do with the dangers, and, as previously stated, THC is one of very few chemicals that is under NO CIRCUMSTANCES physically addicting, and yes, i got that from multiple licensed MD’s as well as several medical journals, and a government study on the drug. It was criminalized because as a natural herb there was no way at the time for the government to place a tax on it, and it was easier to just criminalize it, because the fines placed on it would make more money. I’m sure the idiotic mothers from the sixties and seventies who were mostly southern baptists or calvinists and didn’t actually do any research didn’t help the case, but the major reason comes down to money. The new push for national legalization makes sense, because with the FDA cracking down, it’s easier to tax. When it is legalized the tax rate will be high(no pun intended), an estimated 50 dollars per 125 dollar ounce. I say when, because regardless of how many people fight it, marijuana will be legalized in the next few years, possibly by the end of this year. It’s already being decriminalized all across the country, including New Jersey, where EVERYTHING is illegal. so don’t bother fighting it or arguing, because resistance is futile. Apologies for ruining my otherwise intelligent comment with that last bit, i figured a comment on cracked.com would need a little humor
March 18th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
word, got any extra weed for me? You are awsome. Such a patriotic move. I am inspired. I will now jiz on my carpet, let it sit for 3 hours, and tell my parents to suck my GI-NOR-MOUS….
…C O C K!
March 18th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Swaim your friggen patriot. I salute you.
March 18th, 2009 at 8:37 am
nice going swaim. AGAIN.
peace, you sexy bastard
March 16th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Awsome
March 16th, 2009 at 4:29 am
Lanthros, OK fair doos. I guess that makes sense about the burning bush. I didnt realise that they actually could burst into flames but it is true that they used to rub MJ balm into their skin and have a couple of wee trips but thanks for letting me know about the bush thing, it actually does sound pretty awesome.
Jack-O Im assuming thats a Half Baked quote. I freaking love that film. “is he in the bushes? does he have a gun? Red team go!! RED TEAM GOOOOO!!!!”
March 15th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Hahaha. Hilarious. XD
March 15th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Ever love Swaim…ON WEED?
March 14th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
i loves weed. and swaim. let’s have a swaimy weed party. murr.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Jack Herer gives us the truth on hemp and we need to stand together in legalizing weed. its ok for the government to legalize cigarettes, liqueur, pills, and fattening foods among other things like freedom of speech as far as religion goes. Marijuana is a god made plant not a drug made up by man. like JACK HERER SAYS THE GOVERNMENT OUTLAWED THE NATURAL:)
March 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
I love the coding at the end of it, hilarious.
March 14th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
ahahaha.
Just came back to this, and I almost believe that he actually did take a couple tokes before writing it, except that he got the image codes right.
I’m guessing he wrote it while high and published it afterwards? ha. Excellent, either way.
Marijuana isn’t bad for you!
March 14th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
True story - “colitas” in Hotel California refers to marijuana. I read about it on Straight Dope.
March 14th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Devilry! Absolute devilry!
LOL - Swaim, you freaking rule.
March 14th, 2009 at 4:57 am
maryjane69, Im an advocate for, in the very least, decriminilization of weed so dont get me wrong on this. Im also a pagan so Im no christian nutjob that believes everything in the bible. But the burning bush was scientificly proven, in the sense that its a certain type of desert bush which secrets an oil that burns at a very low temprature. So on an exceptionaly hot desert day these things will occasionaly burst into flames and not singe the bush its self. Its cool as hell. I watched it on tv high and spit my mt dew out lmao.
March 13th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
right, sam. the fact that i forgot about my free will is why i’m coming over to your house right now to steal your stuff and trade it for coke.
March 13th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
pishyabawbaag. turkeytits
March 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Awesome, at first I though, hey he’s got a point, but then.. BAM comedy strikes.
March 12th, 2009 at 5:05 am
Man if they discovered alcohol at around the same time as they discovered Crack and Heroin then it would be up there in the class A category along with its horrendous, life ruining counterparts. The only reason that alcohol isnt considered as bad for you is that it has been around for so long.
And yeah, Cannabis use IS in the bible! They used to have a balm made from cannabis plants that they would rub into their skin and then have “religious” visions. Like moses and the burning bush was a total MJ trip.
Now Im away to toke on buckets till I pass out.
Peace
x
March 11th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Wow, that actually worked. Sugar.
March 11th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I agree partially with this. Marijuana is bad for you, but so is alcohol and cigarettes. Why should they be legal and not Marijuana. If the governments were able to set up a system to keep an eye on Marijuana use I see no reason why not to legalize it. And for those who didn’t see the tags it is also hilarious.
“This entry was posted on Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 5:00 am and is filed under Bacon, California, Drugs, Goldeneye, Law, Marijuana, Mudflaps, San Francisco.”
Mudflaps?! XD
March 11th, 2009 at 4:42 am
Brilliant LOL
March 11th, 2009 at 3:25 am
I’m in Japan right now. I’m in the middle of Tokyo and weed is ridiculously hard to get. Weed is delicious. Swaim’s article is not his best work. Featured on Cracked’s top picks was a list of the the ten most successful stoners. Barrack smoked weed, the Governator did. So the loser argument doesnt even hold. I know friends back home going through medical school who love the
March 10th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I laughed so much I had to keep pausing to wipe my eyes, and then I gagged a little.
March 10th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
its funny how cracked sometimes pretend to be some kind of counterculture hotbed
btw snoop i would smoke everyday if it wasnt so fucking expensive
March 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
“First, I’m sure greengoddess can defend herself, and second, you’re just doing the exact same thing you’re decrying. So…don’t be an idiot. ”
Really “fake glendoor42″? God you’re so smart,….. just wow.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:21 am
luis, your tampon is leaking
March 10th, 2009 at 9:54 am
i personally have never been to this site, a friend gave me the link. and i must say after wasting my time just by reading this i am pissed that someone as retarded as you has people following your blog crap. i was expecting more from this article. you my friend are a douche
have a nice day
March 10th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Great article. That’s my commentf.
March 10th, 2009 at 4:30 am
swaim you beautiful bastard, this article once again shows your awesomeness.
March 10th, 2009 at 4:26 am
Great, so in addition to testicular cancer and personal dogma we now also have the very original “stoner’s are lazy” and “it makes men grow boobs” arguments. Quite compelling.
Stoners are not neccessarily lazy, people in general tend to be lazy. Just have a lok at the surveys asking how many people actually use cannabis recreationally. Do you honestly think all, or even the majority, of these people are on welfare payments? Also, legalising the drug will not increase it’s consumption significantly, if at all. It’s already prevalent and extremely accessible to anyone interested in it. In fact the Dutch found that the number of people who claimed to be using marijuana dropped slightly after they reformed it’s legal status.
“I learned in Biology that if a male smokes enough weed, he’ll grow boobs.”
I wouldn’t really refer to anything as “learning” it it were not true. True learning implies you are becoming aware of new facts. Clearly not the case here. The “men grow boobs” argument was put forward in the early 20th century and has no scientific basis. Personally when I smoke alot of weed I tend to lose weight, rather than growing tits.
Just to touch on the age old “weed is addictive” argument. It’s true. As other’s have stated marijuana can be very habit forming. However it has been found to not be a physically addictive substance in the same manner as tobacco, heroin or methamphetamines. Marijuana “withdrawal” does not produce physical symptoms as is the case with truely “addictive” substances. No-one stops smoking weed and goes through weeks or months of rage, cold sweats, hot flushes, convulsions etc.
Marijauan can definatley be habit forming, enjoyable things are habit forming. Simply, positive reinforcement dictates that if we find something pleasurable, or enjoyable, we will continue to do it, or atleast want to do it again. Anything from food to sex to shopping can be considered addictive in exactly the same way. Our brain is bathed in happy chemicals (e.g. serotonin) and we learn to associate our behaviour with the positive feelings we experience. We’re not stupid, if it feels good, we’ll want to do it again.
March 10th, 2009 at 4:19 am
Hahaha, this was hysterical.
March 10th, 2009 at 2:47 am
lmao! Pure awesomeness lol
March 10th, 2009 at 2:12 am
hey dudes, um, I’m not sure how much this has to do with legalizing weed, though i’m all behind that and everything, but this is different, and I’m just writing because none of my friends believe me and I figure Cracked will believe anything, right? Anyway, I was abducted by aliens last night!!!!!! there was this big flash of light and olitesdjobvrrd
Sorry that was 1ofmycatsrunningacrossmykeyboard. Anyway, there was this big flash of light and these green dudes with tentacles appeared and p;ohujdtszfefv
Stop that Snugglekins!!
Anyway, they appeared and brought me to this mothership and George Bush was there! It turns out that the aliens are leading a zombie army, with Bigfoot as their general, in an attempt to put George Bush on the Throne of Earth and wreck the environment because its all a republican conspiracy, and the vatican’s supporting it and everything.
And then i blacked out and woke up back in my parents basement and you know what those fudgewhalloping-froghumping aliens did????????? THEY STOLE ALL MY WEED!
March 10th, 2009 at 1:47 am
as for the drug cartels, it would depend a lot on how much they depend on the majority of americans who never ‘graduate’ past pot (despite the ‘gateway drug’ myth) for income compared to cocaine and other hard drug sales.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:40 am
Funny how you never hear about people getting high and beating the shit out of their wives, unlike certain legal mind-altering chemicals.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:37 am
“I’m in favor of legalizing all drugs on one condition: the instant the purchase is made, a man swings a chainsaw over the counter top. If you can dodge it, good for you! If you can’t, then your time has come.
Most of my policies involve chainsaws.”
Your wisdom is bountiful. I would live in that world.
Oh, and to those people who claim that legalizing pot would “encourage people to sit on their asses and not work”, I propose a simple fucking solution:
- Fuck off.
Do you know why so many potheads can’t/won’t get jobs? It’s because most jobs drug test, and people are FIRED or not even HIRED for their choice of leisure activity. This eventually weighs on the psyche quite heavily, making “joining the working world” a thing of despise.
Stop judging people so harshly. Maybe you’re just worried your girlfriend will leave you if she has pot to turn to for comfort.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
lol your too much dude
March 9th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
dude, could you please make this look good?
it’s freaking chaotic
March 9th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
http://www.Uniformeddate.com ? It is really a funny and interesting place to date attractive girls or hot guys. Many hottie videos and photos at this site, you can enjoy latest interesting videos or talk about hot topic with other friends.
March 9th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
how do you proove something, smart guy? If you want to insult people, don’t make gradeschool level mistakes.
March 9th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
if you truely believe legalizing weed will put drug cartels out of business you have smoked yourself retarded and prooved to everyone that marijuana does kill brain cells.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
I love you swaim. I laughed so hard at the cheetoh.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
That was the worst article you’ve ever done Swaim.
Tisk tisk.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Best wet t-shirt show ever! Giggity
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=2e09eaa3bd2ebf4b5366
March 9th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
I learned in Biology that if a male smokes enough weed, he’ll grow boobs.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I’m in favor of legalizing all drugs on one condition: the instant the purchase is made, a man swings a chainsaw over the counter top. If you can dodge it, good for you! If you can’t, then your time has come.
Most of my policies involve chainsaws.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
thif fucked…fo do the commentf
March 9th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
also. after reading justins comment. burn.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I am so stoned and from reading the comments I can tell you most certainly have been as well. cheese?
–and then I jizzed in. my pants.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
NOTE: This is a reader comment that apparently got lost in the system. Since I couldn’t figure out how to re-instate it, I’m reposting it on their behalf. So, from SpringheelJak:
*sigh*
David, if you really think that drugs like Heroin or Cocaine would EVER become legal, your an idiot.
There are some very KEEN differences.
The reason being is that dangerous drugs like those have no medicinal properties, can kill you in large doses, and are EXTREMELY addictive.
Cannabis on the other hand, despite the FDA’s previous attempts to squash and impede it, has many emerging—and many of which being very promising—medicinal uses from:
Als, Alzheimer’s,
Chronic Pain,
Diabetes,Dystonia,
Fibromyalgia,
GI Disorders, Gliomas,
Hepatitis C, HIV, Hypertension,
Incontinence,
MRSA, Multiple Sclerosis,
Osteoporosis,
Pruritus,
Rheumatoid Arthritis,
Sleep Apnea,
and Tourette’s Syndrome—among others that I won’t be listing because THERE ARE TOO GODDAMN MANY!!
Marijuana cannot be used to overdose. It would take roughly 100+sum pounds of PURE THC to kill—or the same amount in bulk Cannabis—not to mention as how hard to obtain and expensive such a death would cost, but without E.R. stimulants or a I.V. hooked up to you, you’d assuredly pass-out before you could consume it all.
THC is also one of the very, very few compounds that are impossible to become physically addicted to. (The proper name for the compound found in 98% of all compounds which causes it/them to become addictive escapes me at the moment. It was weird. Probably French. I can’t spell French words. T_T)
Mentally? Sure, it can become mentally addicting; but so is online-gaming and making your parents proud.
I mean, f***! SURFING A KILLER WAVE can be mentally addictive!
As I said, KEEN differences.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
that was lame. way to completely not fight for our cause. instead your furthering the stereo type that weed makes you a retard. which you are. but it wasnt the weed that did it. it was your mom when she punched herself repeatedly in her stomech whilst you were still in the womb.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Awesome.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
you were so baked when you wrote this weren’t you?
March 9th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
@ The Man in the Yellow Hat:
Actually, the English spelling is marijuana but in Spanish it’s spelled marihuana. Because H is silent and both U and A together make a “wa” sound. Like in guano. “Marijuana” would actually be pronounced mari-hwa-na.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
“permanent memory cell loss”
Thats really dumb considering THC COATS your brain cells… NOT destroys them… its TEMPORARY lol…
March 9th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Do you know what’s way nicer than smoking weed? making little puff pastries with chocolate and weed, and baking them in an oven, then eating them. Delicious!
Takes less than smoking, and you don’t have to worry about the risks of inhalation. plus, the smell of chocolately pot is damn awesome.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
O and Caden,
‘j’ is pronounced as a ‘y’ or an ‘h’ in Spanish , making the sound of mari’hua’na. But it would not surprise me if coked-out, white Senators in the 80s spelled it with an ‘h’.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Drinking 3 2-liters of Dr Pepper a day will kill you? how long does this take? is this side effect specific to the Dr?
March 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
you know, all that shit about testicular cancer and other diseases is totally true. the same way if you drink three two liters of dr. pepper a day, it’ll burn a hole in your stomach and kill you. if you smoke so much that it gives you cancer, it doesn’t matter what you were smoking. also brewing gets you higher and doesn’t cause cancer. at least no one’s mentionaed the bullshit permanent memory cell loss. moderation is the key. as in, don’t smoke so much that you start using money as rolling papers. unless you’re that rich. in which case, i’m single. now my friends, pass that shit!
March 9th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
*ahem*
*off.
xD
March 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I love all of the people going “OMFG I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THOSE THIN–” *inhale* Aww, fuck it. Pass me the doritos.”
I laughed my ass of at this.
10/10.
Obvious stoner trolls are obvious.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Haha. Precious. Swaim, I like the way you think.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
–quesadilla for you–
Boo is just a jealous non-humorous d-bag, am I right?
(by d-bag, I mean douche)
March 9th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Look at me, I’m a whiny bitch who has to defend people from the mean comments on the Internet. First, I’m sure greengoddess can defend herself, and second, you’re just doing the exact same thing you’re decrying. So…don’t be an idiot.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeeeah…
March 9th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
dude, why are u taking spelling into account on article thread, get a “LYFE”
March 9th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Worst Cracked.com post ever! Thanks for taking a good argument and turning into complete shit to take a cheap shot at getting high. Seriously pictures of Oreos and Cheetos, How long did you sit in your little cubicle to come up with that? Why didn’t you throw in a picture of Michael Phelps while you were at it, you lazy piece of shit.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9cIUgBTy34
March 9th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
What happened to #3?
March 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Hey man in the yellow hat, just so you know, it is called marihuana in Mexico, and was originally spelled marihuana in the early legislation prohibiting it. Just thought I’d point that out.
March 9th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
George….enjoyfull is not a word…and you spelled “and,” “delicious,” and…wait for it….”marijuana” wrong. Try pushing for a drug you can spell buddy.
March 9th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
well- i thought it was a fine article, Swaim.
you eloquently made your point at the end there…
<3
and i’m fresh out of quesadillas at the moment,
so here’s a chimichanga…. (=====)
sufficient?
March 9th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
OMG. I wish I could live to see this happen!!!
It is horrible to be repressed for doing something as nice nad enjoyfull as smoking marihuana.
My dream is to grow a couple of nice strains and spend my nights looking at the sky and puffing some delicius smokes while not thinking of someone judging you about it.
March 9th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I agree with Tartra on his legal stance.
There should be a very hefty fine if driving while under the influence of Marijuana. Just as the DUI should be upped.
Marijuana really isn’t that bad for you either. Compared to tobacco it’s harmless.
March 9th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Meh. I’m not into pot but I don’t hate it. Legalize it, whatever, just beef up the DUI charges so nothing gets too out of control.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Anything that exists is habit-forming. If you want to be addicted to something, you can be.
I think people sometimes forget that they have a free will…
March 9th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I usually do the same thing when stoned. I call it “poetry”.
Thanks man!:)
March 9th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Ha!! That’s why I stopped smoking. I completely agree. I’m not a smoker, but a drinker, and pot’s better for you in many ways, as well as the stuff would be regulated decently (no peanut butter inspectors, please). Also, the money could help fix the deficit a hell of a lot quicker!!
Do it!!
March 9th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Okay, HTML doesn’t work. I was going to deliver them to you right here.
http://www.pe.com/imagesdaily/2007/07-04/quesadilla_dude04_400.jpg
There you go.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:30 am
There’s your quesadillas.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:07 am
glendoor42: Thanks for reminding me. It’s been a while since I clipped my toenails.
I would also like to point out that I am only morally superior to the fake greengoddess, who must be judged and punished and poked with pointy sticks.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:04 am
will somebody please turn a straw dispenser into a JOINT dispenser? its long over due, and if you dont agree, then your addicted to meth.
whoa the freeways melting….
March 9th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Holy crap I’m actually eating a quesadilla right now… not even freaking kidding.
March 9th, 2009 at 10:35 am
To the second fake greengoddess who posted at 10:13 AM,
OOOHH look at me, I tried to put someone down and show everyone how morally superior I am and a what judgemental know it all I am by anonymously putting someone down by using weak ass fucking sarcasm. Look at me, I don’t even have the guts to use my own fake internet name.
Oooohhh I….. is….. just…… sooo… fucking cool.
Hey fuckwad, the real greengoddess’s fucking toenail clippings are fucking smarter than you.
So shut the fuck up you piece of shit. Go back to playing with your tiny penis in your mom’s basement, you dumbfuck.
March 9th, 2009 at 10:31 am
I have no issue with weed ever being legalised; go for it. But anyone who thinks it’s not addictive doesn’t know… It may not be physically addictive like crystal etc, but it is deadly habit forming. (she says as she rolls ahaha). I’ve done basically every drug you’ve ever heard of & some you haven’t, and weed is the only thing I’ve really struggled with, it’s so demotivating and numbing… it really can make you okay with being, plainly put, stupid.
That said, most people who smoke aren’t in that hardcore stoner category, and at the end of the day I think alcohol is a far greater social evil than weed ever could be.
March 9th, 2009 at 10:13 am
look at me, I’m greengoddess, I read a book and now I’m a doctor. I’m morally superior and think I know everything about everyone who smokes pot. I’m also a judgmental know-it-all. I like to sound smart on the Internet.
If it’s in a book, it MUST be true!!
March 9th, 2009 at 10:10 am
“From Chocolate to Morphine: Everything You Need to Know About Mind Altering Drugs” by Dr. Andrew Weil (M.D.) and Winifred Rosen (a children’s book author).
Everyone commenting please read this. Seriously. It’s probably in your local library. It’s clear, unbiased information about what shit does to your body.
If you like that, please continue with “The Natural Mind: A Revolutionary Approach to the Drug Problem.” (also by Dr. Andrew Weil)
There’s your homework, kids. I expect book reports prepared for presentation next Monday. Don’t bother me until then, though. I’ll be too busy smoking pot and getting fired from various jobs while I cash my welfare checks and burden the system with my skyrocketing medical bills for my testicular cancer.
March 9th, 2009 at 9:53 am
I say don’t legalize it… it is more fun when it is against the law!
March 9th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I’m sorry, but the part about, “If anyone has a quesadilla, please leave it in the commentf fection,” was probably the funniest thing I have ever read on this site.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Jam, you can’t possibly be serious when you say:
“Pot is addictive, because if you smoke weed, you will continually need more to feel “normal” same with other drugs and alcohol. Weed also makes you an idiot, so you might accidentally kill yourself. This is why mind altering drugs are illegal.”
That’s so laughable I don’t even know where to start. Been watching too much Reefer Madness or some other government sponsored anti-marijuana propaganda, like those ridiculous above the influence commercials that bombard you 50 times a day, latey?
March 9th, 2009 at 8:23 am
In the recorded history of mankind there has never ever been a case of a lethal overdose on marijuana alone. The United states government still has people (a person) grandfathered into a program they started and it wasn’t the only program they’ve experimented with. If marijuana is so harmful why does your own government create programs for people who have real medical issues and let these people continue to use it as a medication? The “War on Drugs” cost Americans billions of dollars a year but it also keeps law enforcement officials working and private (No bid government contract labor camps) prisons full. The taxes collected from the state of California in 2008 alone from the cultivation and sale of marijuana would have been in the 3to 4 billion dollar range and that is a low estimate without taking into consideration the money you would save from not spending the billion plus on DEA raids and law enforcement. Your government gets to employ thousands of law enforcement officials and get basically slave labor from the growing privatization of the prison system. Why would they legalize/decriminalize marijuana?
March 9th, 2009 at 7:49 am
i get loaded.everyday dammit!up at seven and off to work i go.even though i hate working.then home at last to drink tea and smoke herb,in peace.thats all i want ,peace.mind you if i ever give it up again ill probably try and join the armed forces again.it seems being stoned placates my urge to run about and blow stuff up.lets see booze do that.thats what i thought.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:33 am
CavalierX, I understand what you’re saying. I agree with you, I just think that a lot of people abuse the system and our tax dollars, not just weed smokers. That’s all I was saying.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Aww, it failed.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Come and join hot tall dating club
___Tallmingle C om___ has lots of sports fans there! besides, it’s hot modelss, milfs, sexy chick s and handsome young men and chicks dating club!!LOL Don’t miss out!! 
March 9th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Because that other dude was all like “here’s a link!”, that’s too much damn work to click it, so here’s an embed that I hope doesn’t fail.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:10 am
“What about the octo-mom and other “parents” who can’t afford their kids? We get stuck paying that tab. Maybe we should make reproducing without any money illegal.”
I don’t think the solution to robbing productive citizens to pay for the unproductive is to rob them even more to pay for even more unproductive people, do you?
March 9th, 2009 at 7:00 am
I do not now, nor have I ever smoked weed. That said, I’m completely for it being legal. I still wouldn’t smoke it, just like how I don’t drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, even though I legally could.
1. Increased Tax Revenue
2. Reduced Crime and Less Taxpayer Money Spent towards illogical prison time.
3. From what I’ve heard, the stuff is only as impairing as a few strong drinks, which is perfectly legal at a certain age.
4. The way to win the “War on Drugs”? You certainly can’t beat ‘em, the way to win is regulation.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:57 am
“I totally agree with that. But why should I be forced to pay for your unemployment/welfare benefits and medical needs when you can’t hold a job?”
What about the octo-mom and other “parents” who can’t afford their kids? We get stuck paying that tab. Maybe we should make reproducing without any money illegal.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:52 am
“People should be able to abuse their own bodies if they want to.”
I totally agree with that. But why should I be forced to pay for your unemployment/welfare benefits and medical needs when you can’t hold a job?
March 9th, 2009 at 6:45 am
At the very least, weed needs to be decriminalized. I just don’t understand why a guy who smokes a little weed has to go to jail with people who have actually hurt other people (rapists, violent criminals, etc). I’m not sure if legalizing it is a good idea or not, hence why I’d never be in politics.
Just make us pay a fine if it’s really a problem, but jail time for doing something that hurts no one is what makes no sense.
And those of you using religion in your argument, to me that is irrelevant. Your religion is not MY religion, and shouldn’t be even considered when deciding on laws. That’s why we have a separation of Church and State. You don’t want to smoke? That’s fine, I’m not trying to make you. More for me, anyway. But why push your agenda on others? It accomplishes nothing, aside from making the people you’re trying to persuade feel alienated and want to oppose you even more.
Ultimately, if a plethora of items that can kill us are legal, then pot should be. But I think us pot smokers are fine, we have been fine, and legal or illegal we’re going to smoke it.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Thanks for a post the length of the Declaration of Independence, Jimbo.
March 9th, 2009 at 6:28 am
poople.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:39 am
God does not not exist.
People should be able to abuse their own bodies if they want to.
Live and let live and all that stuff.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:37 am
God doe’s not not exist.
People should be able to abuse their own bodies if they want to.
Live and let live and all that stuff.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:28 am
ok, first of all wow and haha.
just wanted to throw it out there -
Let us burn one, from end to end.
And pass is over to me my friend.
Burn it long, but burn it slow,
to light me up before I go.
If you dont like my fire, then dont come around.
Cause I’m gonna burn one down.
Yes I’m gonna burn one down
MY CHOICE IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO
AND IF I’M CAUSING NO HARM, IT SHOULDN’T BOTHER YOU.
YOUR CHOICE IS WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE
AND IF YOUR CAUSIN’ NO HARM, THEN YOU’RE ALRIGHT WITH ME
If you dont like my fire, then dont come around, cause I’m gona burn one down.
Yes i’m gonna burn one, down.
Herb’s a gift, from the Earth,
and what’s from the earth is of the greatest worth.
SO BEFORE YOU KNOCK IT, TRY IT FIRST
and you’ll see it’s a blessing and it’s not a curse.
If you dont like my fire, then dont come around,
cause i’m gonna burn one down.
Yes i’m gonna burn one.
-ben harper
March 9th, 2009 at 5:01 am
I’d still like to see some coherent arguments against the legalisation of a drug used by 25-50% of the population. It’s like seeing a unicorn.
The best the posters here seems to have come up with are testicular cancer (when, in fact, your alot more likely to get lung cancer when your burning something and purposely consuming the smoke) and, I (or my interpretation of my chosen religous texts) don’t think you should do that.
I personally just think each individual should be allowed to chose what they think is right for them. Of course the caveat of not fucking anyone else over in the process is very important.
The cannabis plant is a valuable crop, in many ways, why should people not be able to cultivate it? Contrary to what many have said below I don’t belive that it is intrinsically better or worse for the earth in which it grows than the tobbacco plant. If grown in a commercial fashion marijuana would most likely be subject to a similar combination of fertilisers, pesticides and poor farming techniques as the tobbacco plant. On the ther hand the average cannabis user consumes far less cannabis than the average smoker does tobacco, so the need for intensive farming practices would be low.
One of the key arguments against marijuana these days is the fashion in which it tends to be grown, in large scale hydroponic installations. Current mainstream marijuana cultivation techniques are far too expensive and labour intensive, the majority of production would move back towards open air cultivation out of simplicity and cost effectiveness. There would undoubtedly be people who would choose to maintain hydroponic cultivation techniques, there is much to be said for the virtues of having a completely controlled environment in which to experiment with different cultivars and breeding (hell cannabis has probably had more attention paid to it’s breeding over the last few decades than any other plant on the face of the planet). However one of the MAJOR benifits to people to come from the legalisation of marijuana would be the ability of the government to impose regulations mandating maximum content of dangerous constituents that are undoubtedly more prevalent in hydroponic marijuana.
The fact is marijuana, relatively speaking, is not a dangerous drug. It does very little harm to the individuals who choose to use it, and very little, if any, harm to the society those individuals are part of. It is no harder to tax than alcohol, it would be as simple as making people who grow and distribute the product the equivalent of a micro-brewery/liqour store.
The major hurdle would be convincing the majority of those who belive marijuana is dangerous that they have been lied to by their own governments through scare tactics. Please keep in mind there are people out there who don’t think alcohol should be illegal. Just as there are silent abstainers who choose not to drink alcohol, but thankfully don’t give a shit if you do. I just wish governments were not actively trying to influence public opinion on marijuana to be as the former, rather than the tolerant, latter.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:42 am
THis post is messed up..
March 9th, 2009 at 4:31 am
I live in Maffachufetts, where poffeffing smaller amountf haf been decriminalized. Getting busted with less than an ounce will get you fined(and your ftafh confiscated). I’m hoping that my ftate, being the liberal trailblazer that it if, will be the firft ftate to legalize pot.
Two more reafons to legalize marijuana:
1
Small family farms, especially in New England, have disappeared at an alarming rate. Those that remain have been struggling to survive by supplimenting their main products with other goods and services. Dairy farms selling maple sugar products or pumpkins. Apple orchards encouraging aggri-tourism(pick-your-own & hay rides). Other farms have switched over completely to specialties like Bison or Emu(seriously).
Growing hemp would provide them with another cash crop and have all the born-again-hippies jumping for joy in their eco-friendly hemp sandals.
—————————————-
2.
If marijuana became cheaper because of legalization, my Ex would probably be in arrears on his child support payments less often.
March 9th, 2009 at 4:23 am
So Spizzy, what ground breaking things do you do with your life?
March 9th, 2009 at 4:19 am
Nah, weed isn’t for losers.
It’s for people who just want to kick back, and have some fun.
What…is fun only for losers nowadays?
What a world we live in…
March 9th, 2009 at 3:49 am
oo we’re americans - we get coke!
March 9th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I find it statistically unlikely that all people who ingest THC are losers.
And thank you. I do love a good shit storm.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:17 am
Man, you sure do know how to stir up crap on this site. Love it though.
No, but anyone of any real value already knows that weed is a tool exclusively for losers, so either way, it doesn’t matter.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:56 am
OH–and for those of you who think the ideology of the Christian Right has no pertinence in the “Let’s Legalize Pot and Save The Economy With All The Revenue We Make Off It And Its Accessories” argument, let me go on record as saying that:
YOU. ARE. FUCKING. CRAZY.
Middle-aged-circus-clown-on-a-unicycle-reciting-Hitler-speeches crazy.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:49 am
Ah! Someone who is willing to take this debate to its extent, from an objective, non-religiously-charged “ZOMG I’M RITE UR RONG!!!” attitude beginning to form after sentence three, and exploding into a geyser of pink Ghostbusters hate slime by paragraph four…!!
Astounding. Okay, I’ll bite then.
———————————————–
Q: Is God a crazy, genocidal maniac who doesn’t care about and tortures peoples from dark, desolate regions of the world, who already lead terrible-as-hell lives, and may not even be harming anyone?
A: Not if any of the scripture describing his character of ultimate love, wisdom, and fairness is true. Besides, it never REALLY gets in to what happens after death or at judgment day, besides some very basic facts. I think it purposefully leaves out many other truths, just so people won’t cop out on being followers of Christ, and become ensnared in other, false religions. HOWEVER–and this is where mainstream Christianity will disagree with me–THIS DOES IN NO WAY IMPLY THAT ALL RELIGIONS ARE WRONG. Just that false ones exist (Pastafarian is real, though).
———————————————–
Q: Why’d he kill all those poor old innocent folks?
A: Because he controls life and death, and the thereafter. Any service rendered out of love CAN be retracted out of necessity. It doesn’t make it pretty–just necessary for the survival of the “light”, and to keep the world from being a REALLY asshole place to live.
———————————————–
And finally…
———————————————–
Q: Why all these impossible standards!? Everyone is a terrible, evil person when you use the bible to judge them!!
A: Don’t use the bible to judge them. It specifically says not to. And, as far as I can tell, the only main “standard” is “don’t be a douche”. Which is something I believe we can all agree to, in theory, as making the world a more tolerable place for people who mean others no harm, and wish for a peaceful existence.
———————————————–
Oh, I like this! I can play Devil’s Advocate for Christianity til the cows come home. LMAO
Not to say I’m actually advocating throwing down your beer and going to confessional. I just know how they’re all SUPPOSED to be thinking. xD
March 9th, 2009 at 2:40 am
When did Jesus become a blind/def/retarded 2 year old?!?! Why didn’t the bible mention that?!
March 9th, 2009 at 2:26 am
—–Uniformedmate.com—– ? It is really a funny and interesting place to date attractive girls or hot guys. Many hottie videos and photos at this site, you can enjoy latest interesting videos or talk about hot topic with other friends.
March 9th, 2009 at 1:18 am
your “God” is a fnatsy
hemp is good for the soil
March 9th, 2009 at 12:41 am
1…2…4…20…1. Swaim, you are one funny bastard. And wouldn’t you rather have a quefadilla?
March 9th, 2009 at 12:32 am
dude,tobacco is really hard to grow, it takes years and destroys the land its grown on.Swaim, tens of thousand of people(you said hundreds) are killed in the drug trade every year,and I would like to point out the DEA makes 1.5 billion dollars profit a year.
March 9th, 2009 at 12:22 am
hmm, guys, its as easy to grow your own tobacco or brew your own beer…
March 9th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Man, I have obviously been ripped off. Down here in the South Pacific the weed has never ever made me need to strip…
March 8th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
very possibly the worst article ever
Signed, blind/def/retarded 2 year old.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I gave my grandma weed and it didn’t help with her back pain. Perhaps I should have baked it into her Hershey Symphony bar.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Ultimately, weed is illegal because of tax issues. Originally banned de facto because them damn lazy Mexicans were soiling up God-blessed ‘merica, the government decided to keep it that way, because, as Ian down there says, its actually kinda easy to grow. People growing and smoking their own plants would amount to zero tax revenues for Uncle Sam. There are certainly other factors why politicians believe it is harmful, but ultimately, like all thing in the government, it comes down to money.
Food for thought: Ben Franklin toked, Carl Sagan loved the shit. George Fucking Washington grew the shit, probably just hemp, but possibly for smoking. Salvador Dali toked, as I’d venture to guess most (all) surrealists. Also, look at your music collection. At least two thirds of it was influenced, written by, or produced by tokers. I guarantee it.
Also, back to hemp, why is this shit so regulated? It’s good for the soil, cheap (not counting taxes) to cultivate, and is an incredibly strong fabric, but its growth is extremely regulated, not because it can get you high, cause it can’t, but because it is related to cannabis.
Lastly, (whew) remember what government is supposed to be. “We the People,” not “We the servants of the absolute law,” or even “We the people who universally adhere to the tenets of the Christian faith.” If people want to do something, like smoke marijuana (or be a prostitute, or marry a consenting adult regardless of gender, or get absolutely shitfaced on apple-tinis, or write a political rant on a comedy website), without imposing on other’s rights, why should there be a law against it?
P.S. Cross, although I agree with your initial comment, I think the vision of a “Spiked-suit bully god” who: will send to eternal torture for not following an absolute set of morals handed down in an 1800 year old book which chapters have been arbitrarily selected by a group of men 1800 years ago, and then translated and re-translated throughout the ages in countless languages about a genocidal spirit-god who kills the entire population of the earth for not living up to his impossible standards, then sending a man-god who spoke of saving all humanity despite the fact that humans on other continents never heard of this man (and were presumably thrown into torture for the duration of their civilization) is EXACTLY what I find so god-damned frightening about the bible. And then people acting to justify morality based solely on this ancient text, boiling into laws of today, I find pants-shittingly terrifying.
P.P.S. A rant on God and politics on an article on a comedy site about weed. Congratulations, me.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Wow, Cap’n Shall’s pal has turrets! I thought only castles and Mad Max cars had turrets. FUCK SHIT BALLS. Oh sorry, I have Tourette’s.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Honestly. I dont get what the big deal is. This is like the whole dispute over gay marriage to me. LET PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANT. I dont even smoke pot anymore. I could. Quite easily. Its VERY easy to get. ANYWHERE. Are you getting the point? Making it illegal doesnt make it inaccessable. It just makes it more risky, and in fact, more fun.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
The author of this article does a really bad job of emulating what it’s like to be on weed.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Of course I agree on the topic you’re debating. It was mildly funny but c’mon really? Your goal should be to convince someone to think the way you do. You’re argument could be so much stronger.
For example. Add in some statistics. 33,000 people died of drug overdose in America in 07. Many of those include prescription drugs that doctor’s already hand out like candy. Many others include over the counter medication from assfucks downing 3 bottles of Nyquil to trip out.
My good buddy Steve has turrets. Marijuana makes it completely go away for hours just after a few hits. Some people need it medicinally just to function. You covered all those topics. I’m just saying to be more specific so you can out bitch all the conservative dickfucks out there. But if you’d excuse me I need to spark this bowl.
( )
{ “”"”"”"”"”}
P.S. Fuck you wonderboy
P.S.S. Cracked Kills. That was sum funny shit.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
So I’m all for weed being legal. I don’t drink but I smoke weed occasionally.
I agree with Jimbo. I don’t believe you have the right to argue with somehing if you don’t have a proper arguement, with facts, ready.
Could you imagine how much more contstructive internet debates would be if they had to be based on facts? The horror, the horror!
March 8th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Witty banter: ACTIVATE…
Player “Cross”: ENTER GAME!
I would like to just jump in here and make a sane argument to what Jimbo and Wonderboy have said, straight from the middle:
Okay. Addressing the points one at a time:
—————————————
Q: Why are there legal intoxicants such as alcohol, (which is responsible for so much civil unrest and violent crime it’s ridiculous), and why is pot not among them?
A: Because the government hated minorities enough to make pot illegal, so as to get certain ones of them (Mexicans) out of the country on a technicality, and it already tried making alcohol illegal. Its efforts there were, to put it bluntly, FULL OF EPIC FUCKING FAIL, so it said to itself:
“GEE WILLAKERS! (because that’s how they talked back then) IF BEERS ARE WHAT THE AMERICAN CAPITALIST WANTS TO INVEST HIS HARD-EARNED DOUGH IN, HE WILL BY-GUMMIT, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. SO PERHAPS WE SHOULD CASH IN ON THIS FACT…?”
Plus we just like drinking beer, hell-dammit. Even Elephants like it (as illustrated by this very site). It’s a social lubricant, likened perfectly to KY Jelly for the socially inept/introverted people who like breaking out of their shell once in a while.
And thus, with the fall of an extremely sane and reasonable judge’s gavel ended the horrible-mutilation-of-social-justice that was prohibition. *Applause*
—————————————
Q: Why, according to a bible-based Christian philosophy, did God kill all those people, and why did he never kill “bad old Satan”…??
A: If you dolts would pay attention, you would notice a theme in the story. Disconnecting ENTIRELY from the book as a religious work, and simply reading it as a story, one can easily understand God’s reasoning behind this, and why it, ultimately, is fair, assuming the premise that “God is real, and is as he describes himself in the Bible”.
If God is the all-powerful orchestrator of this puppet show, then I presume he has the ability to do precisely whatever he pleases, just on sheer supremacy alone. Imagine a schoolyard bully. Now, imagine him covered in leather and sharp-ass spikes.
…Yeah. You’ll argue with him for about…ten seconds, before feeling his spiky wrath upside your favorite little organs. SO. Not smart.
But God claims to be sort of a Beauty And The Beast or Frankenstein’s Monster type of deal, where he has a lot of “brutalizing power”, but only uses it when necessary.
Also, and more importantly, is the fact that he is made of purest love and knowledge, in the same sense that Carrot Top is made of purest fail and retardation.
Still with me? Good, coz I’m about to lay it out, FLAT:
God wanted things to be exactly as they are, and unfold in exactly this manner, so that you, yourself could be created. Because he loves you. Also, he’s probably teaching the Universe some big lesson, and will make it all right in the end, rewarding the people who decided it was a good idea to live life according to the ideology he laid down by sending/influencing/whatever-ing Jesus and the gang, then letting Sonny Boy take the fall for every bad thing we ever did, pre-them-actually-happening, so long as we’re actually sorry and make an effort to improve our character/conduct, post-forgiven-ness.
BAM. Bible summarized in…however many paragraphs that was.
And also, the Bible never says anything about drugs, except the ones crazy witchdoctors used to conduct crazy witchdoctory, which falls under the category of “trying to cast magic spells and shit”, an act frowned somewhat heavily upon by God.
Otherwise, no verse saying “thou shalt stay away from Tylenol PM, because it causeth thee hallucinations and non-snot-interrupted sleep.”
—————————————
Y’know, if I were to go on, maybe these assholes would offer me a job writing guest articles, so I could afford more pot and bibles.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Dude wonderboy is completely unaware that tenacious D always talks about how great weed
March 8th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I just love the way Wonderboy hasn’t made one coherent rational argument against the legalisation of cannabis. His view point seems to be the epitome of the anti-drug agenda.
“You shouldn’t do drugs because [b]I don’t understand why you would want to[/b].”
He doesn’t understand the use of legal intoxicants such as alcohol either.
Unfortunately the legal conventions of our society seem to be dictated by a vocal minority of individuals, such as Wonderboy, who despite announcing their own ignorance of WHY other people make the choices they do, seem hell bent on making sure we don’t have the right to do so.
Oh, and using a right wing, christian justification is just the icing on the cake.
[quote]The day humanity is gone for good, that’s when satan will give the finger to god and tell him “see? I told you”. And that day is getting closer everyday.[/quote]
(You know there are many religions out there with vastly more followers than christianity, so statistically speaking your quite likely to be wrong about “God” having sex with a virgin and having her give birth to one of his multiple personalities. Which means if their imaginary friend in the sky is anything like yours, he will be royally pissed off at YOU for worshiping a false idol….. Not to mention the old “Judge not, let ye be judged yourself”…. oh and just one more, Wouldn’t an all powerful “God” remove “Satan” from existence if he is truly so terrible? Then again when you look at the “facts” presented in your bible, “God” killed millions of humans, as well as countless other species, when he didn’t like the way they were exercising the free will he himself gave them, yet “Satan” was responsible for how many deaths? Around a dozen. Either your “God” is a fnatsy, or a fucking cunt.)
March 8th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
You’re so cute.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Weed is fine like it is. I smoke and don’t want it legalized.
You can’t sell it and tax on that, becuase everybody can just grow it on their own. It’s not like tobacco or beer. It’s easy and cheap to grow. A lot of people will just do that.
And even if they could turn a profit on it, some corporation would just throw a whole bunch of shit in there and ruin the weed.
Look, it’s illegal but if you don’t know how to find it then you’re an idiot.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
So, ass_master3k, by saying that Alcohol is more harmful than Pot, should it be turned around? Alcohol illegal and Pot legal?
Oh, there was an article on Cracked about Silvia Divinorium (or w/e) is there a business or corporation that distrbutes that stuff? Perhaps opening one would get people off Pot and earn mounds of Zimbabwean Currency, I mean mountains of it.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
hmm, well thanatos, if you smoke PCP and go on a killing rampage, then it’s kinda the business of the authorities, no?
Really, there is no justification for not making pot legal, so long as alcohol is legal, provided the same sorts of preventative laws are in effect for it - i.e. not being allowed to drive after smoking etc. I do believe they have ways of monitoring that sort of thing now.
Having consumed both weed and alcohol for quite some time now, and knowing many other people who do as well, to one degree or another, I would say alcohol is the more dangerous/harmful of the two.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I consider myself a conservative, and I do not smoke pot, and don’t have any plans to do so. That said, I think that legalizing it is a pretty good idea. Any conservative who is against it is in a way being hypocritical, because legalizing weed is a step closer to smaller government control. They can’t tell me what I can and can’t eat, and they shouldn’t be able to tell me what I can and can’t smoke.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I think it’s a great idea to legalize pot, as well as decriminalize small amounts of other drugs (ie in amounts that a user would have, not a dealer), and instead of jail, send the crack and smack heads to mandatory rehab. It would take a huge load off of taxpayers, as well as emptying out the extremely overcrowded prisons, and it would take all those criminals and turn them into consumers. Tax the weed, same as you would any other hobby/habit, and make revenue.
@whoever said pot gives you testicular cancer. Yeah, that’s true, but guess what also gives you cancer, that happens to be legal, and quite common: tobacco, alcohol, hydogenated cooking oils, artificial colorings, most petroleum products, ie gasoline, motor oil, vaseline, plastic, diesel, etc., the alcohol that’s in mouthwash, sunlight, many household cleaners, certain types of lotions, tanning beds, fast food, soda, diet soda, diet anything… I could go on for an hour. The thing is, what is the likelihood that pot WILL give you cancer? For example, if a girl were to take birth control from the time she was 15 till she was say, 45 (pretend she’s really slutty, and really hates kids), she’s going to have a much higher risk of a reproductive organ cancer than say her twin sister who became a nun. But guess what, anti-baby pills are still legal, and people still use them. That’s because we don’t really care how harmful something is, as long as it makes things easier. That’s why there are 4 McD’s every square mile, and one farmer’s market in three counties.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Wow. Just, wow…
March 8th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
James Frost Says:
March 8th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I wasn’t aware that “grammar” is a verb now.
I don’t care if I don’t use proper grammar
but when someone is trying to act better than people by saying things like
“Wonderboy Says:
March 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Wow, the idiocracy has begun.”
when they themselves rape the English language
(notice I don’t use full stops at the ends of my sentences ZOMG I’m the devil)
“it would be better if all of us died”
please oh please wonderboy listen to your own advice and kill yourself maybe we will all be inspired to do the same take the chance since you hate the world so much
please I beg you, I promise that if you kill yourself the world will change
please do it for your own beliefs
have faith in yourself
p.s. you’re a dick
March 8th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
LMAO @ jam
my god read a fucking book boy, weed is SAFE, it kills no one asshat
March 8th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I smoke daily. I also have a regular job that I am great at, and I get paid well. I don’t wear dirty t-shirts and smell like fritos. I wear lipgloss and heels and have more energy than most 30-something women. I am also a parent. A great one. I have a nice house and a nice family.
Legal pot would be nice.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
I like smoking weed before bed and the government should leave me alone. I’m not hurting anyone (except for the hooker tied up in my basement)!
March 8th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Legalising MJ will also reduce violent crime. At a recent world cup (soccer) match in The Netherlands where english fans were present, authorities dealt with the potential violence by ordering the pubs closed but leaving the “coffee houses” open. The english fans clapped politely when their team lost.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Fucking A. brilliant as always.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
In weed’s defense, Mike, your article could have gone a similar route if you’d pounded 12-15 shots of Cuervo first.
I’d love to see weed legalized and regulated like alcohol. Sure, there will always be idiot stoners out there, just like there are alcoholics. But the overwhelming majority of us would probably just have a toke on the weekend.
The reason I’d like to see weed legalized isn’t because I smoke it - I don’t, and haven’t for many years. But it IS an all-natural way to get high, it has well-documented medicinal properties and it would probably be just as much of an enjoyable release as alcohol currently is for many people.
Personally, I’ll stick to ethanol and oxycodone. Heavy fuel.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I wasn’t aware that “grammar” is a verb now.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Mmmm chips!
Seriously though - if you’re over 25 and you’re not a rock star, you have to get a hair cut, and stop smoking weed.
Honestly you look ridiculous and smell like dirty socks. Not good.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Alcohol and Tabacco kills hundreds of thousands of more people per year than marijuana, yet because they are viewed as “socially acceptable” people just assume theres no sense in changing it. OUR WHOLE WORLDS A PARADOX.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
and yes im highassssssssssss shit. dick.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
wow, Jam if your serious take your conserative ass back to limbaughs homepage and stay there. Not only are your views 100% flase and almost laughable, but it is obvious that you have never even tried to smoke marijuana, Im a senior in highschool who will be attending SFSU next year and have been HEAVILY as in EVERYDAY ALL DAY been smoking weed since 8th grade. And my GPA those four years skyrocketed. Educate yourself before you make an ass of self on the internet please.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Also, sure, people smoked weed 30000 years before Christ, etc. But those very same cavemen were also cannibals. Go figure.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
In the undying words of one Mister O’Shea Jackson, “Some sum weeeed.”
March 8th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Pot is addictive, because if you smoke weed, you will continually need more to feel “normal” same with other drugs and alcohol. Weed also makes you an idiot, so you might accidentally kill yourself. This is why mind altering drugs are illegal.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Adding to the Songs About Pot Collection:
ALRIGHT NOW!
Won’t you listen?
When I first met you, didn’t realize
I can’t forget you, for your surprise
you introduced me, to my mind
And left me wanting, you and your kind
I love you, Oh you know it
My life was empty, forever on a down
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can’t hear
Come on now, try it out
Straight people don’t know, what you’re about
They put you down and shut you out
you gave to me a new belief
and soon the world will love you sweet leaf
March 8th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
To tshp: Totally. Long live The D.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Yeah wonderboy you talk like a fag
fag
March 8th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Hmmm. You prefent a compelling argumentation, Mifter fwaim.
Very compelling.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.pe.com/imagesdaily/2007/07-04/quesadilla_dude04_400.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.pe.com/columns/fooddude/stories/PE_Fea_Daily_D_dude04.24bc396.html&usg=__RnzvhuFh-HFpBSWK6N87kjLxVxw=&h=492&w=400&sz=67&hl=en&start=2&um=1&tbnid=9qwPmT80FXPScM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=106&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dquesadilla%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1I7DMUS_en%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1
It’s a picture of a quesadilla. You’re Welcome.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
@Pedgerow: In the U.S. we have a similar system only we call them Schedules, here is a link to wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controlled_Substances_Act#Schedule_I_controlled_substances
@Wonderboy: Did you name yourself after the Tenacious D song? Cause that would be awesome.
March 8th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Wonderboy Says:
March 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Wow, the idiocracy has begun.
it began when you typed “so what’s it the mother fucking point of drinking alcohol and getting high and smoking anything?”
whilst trying to be “smart”
learn to grammar fucktard
“The day humanity is gone for good, that’s when satan will give the finger to god and tell him “see? I told you”. And that day is getting closer everyday.”
Please start this process and go kill yourself
(If anyone has already mentioned anything I just typed good work and I love you)
March 8th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
In England, they have different classes of drugs (Class A would be heroin and things, Class B is a bit softer, then there’s Class C, and legal) and they keep moving weed around, from Class C to Class B and back again repeatedly. Since neither of those seem to be solving things, why not try legalising it for a bit? You can always ban it again. For the record, I am a posh rich boy, and not only have I never smoked weed in my life (but I’m not a loser or anything), neither have most of my friends (they are losers though).
March 8th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
No, it’d be Quefadilla.
March 8th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
F*ckin’ Mike…too funny man.
March 8th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
“Wow, the idiocracy has begun.” translates to… “Hurr durr, i betr dan u sxe 4 lyfe”
March 8th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
hppp””ww.thosearemuskrats.com
Nice touch
March 8th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
see? its funny? now stop getting all serious and saying that tolerant, rationally thinking will be the end of humanity or civilization. There are reasons we intoxicate our selves. Our brains are wired with receptors to certain chemicals, including ethanol, cannabinoids, opioids, etc. wonderboy, really, what you should be questioning is why we criminalize a plant that has been used for thousands of years for food, fibers, medicine, and fuel. The cannabis sativa plant has more uses than just an intoxicant, but even then, why should the government have the right to decide what is okay for us to put in to our bodies by our own choice?
just laugh, and support a less insane drug policy.
peace OUT
March 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Wow, the idiocracy has begun.
March 8th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Wonderboy - you should smoke some weed. It contains the chemical “FUCKIT” which will help with your disease “BITCHALOT”.
I stole this.
March 8th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
March 8th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
lafing owt lowd it funny me laf
March 8th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Oh Wonderboy if you truly feel that way about humans, why not end it? Go on a killing spree, or just kill yourself.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
if you read that post high, oyu go crazy bananas!
March 8th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I- I think I just fell in love with Wonderboy. Nobody has ever read my mind like that. W-wow.
We should be together.
I swear, I don’t wanna jinx it and I know what people say. But like…
INTERRACIAL HOMOSEXUAL LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS OVER THE INTERNET WORK GOD DAMNIT!!
March 8th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I have a Quesadilla here, so you can accept what I am about to say with a lighter heart.
We can grow our own pot.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
weed should be loeagal cos that was so funny
March 8th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
marilize legaljuana
March 8th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
swaim, hopefully california repeals prop 8 and legalizes marijuana, that way we can be legally blazed out of our minds while getting legally married……
March 8th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I’ve never seen my hands grow when I smoke weed, you must have a superior brand to the buds we get up here in Humboldt, but mescaline, LSD, mushrooms are another matter…I’ve seen some very weird stuff on those, lots of realities inside realities…the stuff of mystical experiences without the devotion and hard work…it does look like the whole attitude here is changing and people and politicians are not afraid to speak up about it’s legalization…and I suspect Tom A. could smoke you under the table on a mano to mano bong-down…no kittens allowed!
March 8th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Wonderboy seems to have “stick in the ass syndrome”.
How do I finalize my diagnosis? Just wait for his inevitable multi-paragraph response.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<3swaim
March 8th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
It sounds like wonderboy needs to get laid.
I also support a Frito-based economy…
March 8th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I’m not as think as you stoned I am.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Sometimes I feel like humans are this really retarded monkeys that like to masturbate and get high all the time and it would be better if all of us died and thank god space travel is nigh impossible because that way the universe is safe from us. We suck as a species.
So, no, don’t legalize and hollywood people should stop saying it’s O.K. to use stuff like that. Also alcohol, what’s the big fucking deal about drinking that bitter crap just to feel a little dizzy? What’s the motherfuckig point? It doesn’t taste nice (if you are being honest, not full of bullshit like Anthony Bourdain), so what’s it the mother fucking point of drinking alcohol and getting high and smoking anything? The day humanity is gone for good, that’s when satan will give the finger to god and tell him “see? I told you”. And that day is getting closer everyday.
March 8th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Weed causes testicular cancer. google it
March 8th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Those were the best arguments EVAR!!!11!ONE!
As for real reasons:
1) Less people in prison, so more cost efficient
2) No longer are people buying to support Drug Cartels (who are starting to take over Mexico with the money given for us to buy weed)
3) Economic Boost!
4) Less kids coming out of highschool with a record for smoking weed, so we have more people qualified for jobs, since we are so tough on ‘criminals’
5) Something a little more for the government to tax, which means more tax revenue for them, with the benefit for us
6) With a little downturn like this, its something to help us chill a bit!!! yay!!
March 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
@fullmetalchymist
If weed is to be legalized, then the government will certainly regulate it. At the very least, they will tax it. Many cigarette companies could easily shift to making marijuana cigarettes, you could set up weed shops similar to how we have liquor stores (and regulate them in the exact same way), and even with the tax, it would still be the same price, and maybe even cheaper.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Its not really an f, just an elongated funky looking s that looks like an f and is really irratating to read. The closest thing I could find in ascii is this: ƒ. Kinda like that. Looks like a long f with a hook on the end.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
This little article proved:
1. The writer is funny as fhit.
2. Legalization of pot (and probably any illegal drug) is still a dynamic and decisive topic.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I noticed this article was filed under “bacon.” I proceeded to follow the link for “bacon.” Sadly, there is no other article dealing with “bacon.” This should be remedied.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I’m all for legalizing weed, but the government has no right to regulate. Last time I checked this wasn’t a socialist country (or wasn’t supposed to be, anyway).
March 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
hahahaah
March 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
that was a humor multimedia experience
March 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
They used ‘f’ for ’s’, but only in the middle of the word. Example: Herbal Effence Shampoo, not Fampoo.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
She was living in a single room w/ 3 other individuals, one of them was a male, and the other two, well hell the other two were females. God only knows what they were up to in there, and furthermore Susan I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoked marijuana cigarettes….. reefers
March 8th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
http://www.elguapocantina.com/quesadilla.jpg
There you go.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Pb/PbS(lead!!!!!!!!!!!), Brix(homo company, plastic, glass, hormone?!, sugar mix), glass, hairspray, sand, glucose.
Well, that’s all i could think of AND ONLY GLASS/ SAND/ TALCUM/ SUGAR is quite easy to identify, if an amateur used em, like if it’s really not possible to overlook…
Well if it’s made professionally chances are, YOU WON’T EVER NOTICE…. Unless you got a 400x microscope.
And oh yeah, not to mention, lead can/could even kill you after a single joint depending on how much lead you’re smoking.
Anyways, it’s the choice of that pothead, who cares if he dies from that, noone ever forced them to smoke it amirite?
March 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
P.S. Those are muskrats, best sketch comedy name ever.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Man, marijuana is serious bidniss.
Part of me wants the good ole MJ to be legalized, because goddamn, I don’t actually know how to do a bong hit. And that is embarassing being in college and all. I feel like if it were legalized I would be able to learn how to do it so much easier.
March 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
i dont want the dog hotels to go out of business… i’m not sure about this movement
March 8th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I totally take the bong rips all day long and never once thought my hands were any size but hand size. Oh and I hate rap.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Word.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
ccluskin you are an idiot I have sold laced weed, and I was not in college nor the ghetto stop bullshitting
March 8th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
It’s not an f, it’s a long s.
And yeah, it’s only used in certain situations.
Look it up on Wikipedia.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
heres a quesadilla hands.
cheers.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
f49907, only retards smoke their weed before examining it
dont you grind it? smell it? look at it? Its impossible to lace a batch of weed for someone who knows a thing or two about it.
If you get spiked and didnt know it, you dont deserve to be smoking pot. (or using your ignorance about it as a basis for a negative stance)
March 8th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
You…you used a racial slur.
Despite your patent immaturity and plethora of dick jokes, I…thought you were above that, Cracked.
THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD!
March 8th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
stop saying Swaim hasn’t smoked pot: his references to San Francisco and Dr. Dre as well as his accent indicate that he is a California native, and his occasional rhetorical stunts and references to obscure history and culture (in other peices), further indicate that he went to college. Probably in California. Probably also a humanities major. Which means: a) he only smokes pot socially, or b) he’s a pot head… He might have faked it for this article, but he probably only wrote it ‘cos he needed another check from Cracked to cover his rent, so going out and buying an eighth wouldn’t have been the smartest move. Quick pro tip: take a trip to Mendicino County CA: its cheap, strong, everyone’s selling and you know where they’re getting it from: the front yard next to the tomatoes and the sweet peas. For SoCal people: Baja is the same way, except getting it across the border isn’t worth it.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Weed is for pussies…………Meth, opiates and guns are for winners!!!!!!
March 8th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
ccluskin youre a fucking moron, there are other places to buy weed (vendors would be a good example), and yes you can buy laced weed, its happened to me. Also, this article fails. Michael do us a favor and jump off a very tall building
March 8th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
lmao
after reading the first point i actually thought this was ging to be a serious article. but then again i am stroned and forgot what cracked was all about
March 8th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I think the f for s thing was only used when it wasn’t capitalised, and not at the end of the word. Can anyone find proof of this? I can’t find it (yet)
March 8th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Swaim, you make a most vaild point. Bravo.
March 8th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
ccluskin, you can get weed at any public school, from middle school up
March 8th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Funniest shit I’ve ever read. MY HANDS ARE HUGE!
March 8th, 2009 at 11:53 am
“nobody laces weed”
“If you don’t want to be ripped off/given laced weed”
wat
March 8th, 2009 at 11:51 am
mike, go ahead, do us a favor, and shut the hell up. maybe swaim really did take 10 bong hits before he wrote this, how would you know? And if he didnt, who are you to say this isn’t funny? i sure as hell laughed. chelse even said ‘brilliant’….
March 8th, 2009 at 11:51 am
to ccluskin:
You’re dumb. Stop getting your info from “Training Day”
March 8th, 2009 at 11:44 am
nobody laces weed you guys are all nerds who read articles about weed but haven’t ever smoked it.
there are, generally, two places to get weed:
1-the ghetto
2-a college student at a nearby school
If you don’t want to be ripped off/given laced weed/mugged/raped and killed, I would suggest using option #2.
March 8th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Dealers sure as shit do lace weed. Often times with Raid or similar fucked up shit no one wants to smoke. It’s not exactly a rampant problem but it happens.
March 8th, 2009 at 11:30 am
honest to god, I’m wicked stoned, and when it started falling apart i thought the website was breaking right before my eyes
March 8th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Dealers don’t lace weed. You have to pay them extra for that.
March 8th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Brilliant
March 8th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Iain: that doesnt mean it has to be addictive. not every mind altering plant is addictive
March 8th, 2009 at 11:04 am
“That being said, the argument that weed can’t possibly be addictive BECAUSE it is a plant is fucking retarded. Opium is also a plant. You know what they make out of opium poppies? (Besides opium that is) Morphine and heroin. And opiates. Hence the name “opiates.” Tobacco is a plant that carries physical withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol ultimately is derived from plants. ”
No one argues that weed is not addictive because it is a plant (or if they, they’re wrong). People argue that weed is not addictive because it isn’t. Supplying examples of addictive plants doesn’t prove the opposite (though you know, I’ll suck your dick for some cabbage cuz I’m getting the shakes man).
March 8th, 2009 at 10:57 am
oh my…
weed sounds like fun.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:56 am
‘LUUUUUUUUUUUDES!!!
March 8th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Swaim, you’re articles are usually smart and hilarious, but this douchey piece seemed like something off of Mad TV. Pretending to be high and saying “whooaaaa look at my hands”, has, as far as I know, never been funny at any point in history.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:51 am
dealers don’t lace weed
March 8th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Thif if the fecond beft argument for fmoking weed ever, no wait it’f only the fecond.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Is weed illegal?
March 8th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Okay, I’m not against weed, and I don’t think it’s particularly dangerous or addictive. I’ve known plenty of people who smoke pretty regularly, and they all manage to lead basically pretty normal lives.
That being said, the argument that weed can’t possibly be addictive BECAUSE it is a plant is fucking retarded. Opium is also a plant. You know what they make out of opium poppies? (Besides opium that is) Morphine and heroin. And opiates. Hence the name “opiates.” Tobacco is a plant that carries physical withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol ultimately is derived from plants.
All you legalizing advocates, I’m trying to support you here, and as kind of a middle of the road type with a basically liberal sensibility, really, if you ever want to get legalization pushed through, you need the support of guys like me. Try not to be retarded. It makes us less sympathetic.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I love you.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Swaim I don’t buy for a second that you are actually this much of a lightweight…
March 8th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Weed is so 1960s, people who still go on about how great they are because they do it all the time are boring.
There should be an Opium revival so we Brits have another excuse to invade China, they’ve been too quiet for too long…
I personally prefer a cocktail of nitric acid, lighter fuel, elephant tranquilisers and strawberries grown in Chernobyl. Yummers!
March 8th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I can’t tell if this article is for against smoking weed, but either way I think I’m having a relapse. Plus, playing “The Next Episode” while reading added to the ambiance perfectly.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Simply
Write
About
Inhaling
Marijuana
And you’ll have the entire comments section giving you praise.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Clearly never smoked weed before…
March 8th, 2009 at 10:17 am
To all of the people saying that California is where the weed is at, ever heard of a place called boulder colorado? on 4 20 we were accually given a special section just to smoke weed because they knew it was gunna happen.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:16 am
There you go buddy
March 8th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Yeah, you could make a case for pot being “mentally addictive”, but given the utter lack of demonstrable physical side effects of cannabis cessation, you couldn’t reasonably argue it is any more addictive than fast food, gambling, anonymous sex, or those sleeping pills that say right in the commercial “carries no risk of addiction.” In this case, the “addiction” as it were is mainly a strong preference of being high over not being high. That’s like “I prefer my balls get scratched to my balls don’t get scratched, so I must be addicted to scratching my balls!”
Calling a psychological dependency (like a bad weed habit) an addiction is almost devaluing the word as it applies to drugs like heroin or crack, withdrawals from which can fucking KILL you.
“You ever sucked DICK for weed?”
March 8th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I hate 99% of the people that posted in this comments section.
March 8th, 2009 at 10:03 am
“I’m not a user but they should legalize it. It would save a lot of money since there wouldn’t be a need for drug task forces/police, we wouldt be wasting time and ,money on court trials for minor weed possession charges, the weed would be government regulated so its safe saving the hospitals and funeral homes from unnecessary visits from people ODing.”
you can’t OD on weed. believe me, I’ve tried.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:59 am
oh and the marijuana is COMPLETELY addictive, not a physical addiction but more of a mental addiction. your addicted to the sense of being high not the drug itself,
come on. The first step is to admit it.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Oh, this is absolutely beautiful.
You remind me of every stoner I’ve ever dated. <3
March 8th, 2009 at 9:56 am
WOW!… this is by far my favortie article ever created on this website and i agree on account of marijuana is fucking intense,
word up
thank you.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Personally I think that it should be legalized… mostly because it’s something that isnt addictive…. I know, I know you hear all the time that it is but it’s a FUCKING PLANT it’s not going to hurt you unless someone spinkles coke in it, and the only way you’re going to miss that is if you’re already high… whatever. Still should be legalized so that it can be contorolled. So some jackass doesn’t OD on crack in the weed cause some other jackass wants them to keep coming back to them. Anyway thats my statement and now I’m going to go get some chips…. I have some serious munchies.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Amsterdam is in the Netherlands, not Denmark. If anyone’s planning a trip or anything. Apparently that’s quite a common mistake, bit weird though.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:43 am
hey you know what we have a festival in india where we drink ganja milk its just like chocolate milk only that theres no chocolate and shitloads of weed
i really love my country and its not even illegal to drink it
March 8th, 2009 at 9:35 am
The comments section is kind of harshing my buzz today.
I am particularly amused by the people who are implying that they suddenly won’t find your comedy funny anymore if they find out you actually smoke pot.
Also, I love you.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Smoke
Weed
And
Inhale
Mothafuckas!
March 8th, 2009 at 9:28 am
fdsdfg you are correct, WE WILL NOT ROLL OVER, we will roll one up, then shoot you sorry sons of bunk smokers right in the head.
MARIJUANA IS BAD FOR YOU AND IT SHOULD NOT BE LEGALIZED
ignore my website
if you legalize marijuana slackers could get it anywhere, at least with us charging high prices only a select few can afford it…. right?
i mean its not like you can go just anywhere and bu…… WTF PEOPLE ARE INTRUDING ON OUR BUSINESS???? vinnie get the guns we got some work to do………
sorry boys but i must take care of some “things” and comment to you later
March 8th, 2009 at 9:28 am
fantastic
March 8th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I should have included “will put drug cartels out of business” in my 12th grade Decriminalize Marijuana essay.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:26 am
That was hilarious as always, Swaim.
I’m not a stoner, but I totally agree that it needs to be legalized, sold, and taxed like alcohol and tobacco.
The only possible problem I can see is that the legalization could set some sort of precedent, and then people would start lobbying to legalize OTHER drugs, cocaine, heroin, etc.
I’d like to think that we, as a nation, would be content with booze and weed, but who knows.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I could write a better argument in the bathtub on acid.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:21 am
oh, I broke some of them. Sorry ’bout that
March 8th, 2009 at 9:21 am
I don’t have a quesadilla, but you can have some of the Funions
OO0OO00OOoOO000OO0oOO)oo(O(0OoOO
March 8th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Tough to say, Eddie. Marijuana is to California what alcohol is to my home state of Wisconsin - they use more of it, and are better at using it, than the other 49 states.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:19 am
”
All of you that think the cartel will just roll over and let this happen are terribly wrong. You think someone as vicious as that is not gonna do something against people that are trying take away a giant chunk of their profit? The whole situation will get worse if the cartels become desperate.
”
Yeah, this is true, this is one of the main reasons organized crime still controls Alcohol and it’s not produced by legitimate companies.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:18 am
I’m not a user but they should legalize it. It would save a lot of money since there wouldn’t be a need for drug task forces/police, we wouldt be wasting time and ,money on court trials for minor weed possession charges, the weed would be government regulated so its safe saving the hospitals and funeral homes from unnecessary visits from people ODing.
Even if the governments dont want it used everywhere, make certain cities where it is allowed and have huge fines if you are caught doing it outside of the areas. It worked for Denmarkwith Amsterdam so we (Canada, USA, UK, etc should try it)
March 8th, 2009 at 9:16 am
All of you that think the cartel will just roll over and let this happen are terribly wrong. You think someone as vicious as that is not gonna do something against people that are trying take away a giant chunk of their profit? The whole situation will get worse if the cartels become desperate.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I agree weed should be legal, but I didn’t find this article funny.
March 8th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I want to toke on Fwaimf bong
March 8th, 2009 at 8:59 am
That waf sunny af fhit.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Does anybody know if Swaim is joking, or does he really use marijuana?
March 8th, 2009 at 8:47 am
That was ossum.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Welcome to British Columbia, my friend! And how long do you plan to be staying?
March 8th, 2009 at 8:40 am
I see your poem, Wogi, and I raise you Proud To Be A Stoner by Kottonmouth Kings!
Artist: Kottonmouth Kings lyrics
Album: Cloud Nine
Year: 2007
Title: Proud To Be A Stoner lyrics
Yeah, Ya Know, Sometimes Its Kind Of Confusing To Me,
All These People Sitting On Their High Horses,
Looking Down On Us For Smoking A Plant Or Growing A Plant.
Well I Believe In Natures Laws, And I Just Wanna Be Free.
From The Mountain Tops, Where The Wind Blows
To The Green Valleys Down Below.
Where The Snow Melts And The Rivers Flow
I Just Want To Live My Life.
Where The Trees Grow, And The Air Is Clean.
Where Nature’s Free Do To Her Thing, Everything Is One If You Know What I Mean.
I Just Want To Live My Life.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days.
I Started Smokin Weed At The Age Of 18,
I Moved Out My House Started Writing Rap Beats.
I Moved To Hollywood, We Was Up In The Scene,
It Was Dloc, Johnny Rich, And My Home Boy Steve.
We Was, Teenagers, Yeah Living A Dream.
Lookin Up To Daddy X, Tryin To Do This Rap Thing.
Wrote The First Couple Songs It Was “Bump Bump” We Was “So High” Gettin Blown Off The Skunk.
15’s In The Trunk Down Melrose,
Bitches In The Club, Gettin Drunk Spittin Flows.
Tryin To Get A Record Deal, We Gettin Signed.
I Was Broke With No Money, And That Was Back In 95.
I’m Proud To Smoke Weed, And I’m Proud Of What We’ve Done.
I’m Proud Of The Kings, And I’m Proud Of Everyone.
I’m Proud My Name Is Dloc, No Joke Son,
And I’ll Be Proud When I’m A Dad, When I Have A Daughter Or A Son.
From The Mountain Tops, Where The Wind Blows
To The Green Valleys Down Below.
Where The Snow Melts And The Rivers Flow
I Just Want To Live My Life.
Where The Trees Grow, And The Air Is Clean.
Where Nature’s Free Do To Her Thing, Everything Is One If You Know What I Mean.
I Just Want To Live My Life.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days.
Its Those Lazy Days
And The Hazy Days
And The Days We Get Stoned For Just Days And Days.
Its Amazing When We Get To Live This Way, Like Every Day Is A Holiday.
At The Harvest Time, When The Work Is Done.
And I Celebrate By Worshiping The Earth And The Sun
We Always Give Thanks, For Life And The Gifts.
The Higher You Climb, Its The Higher You Get.
You Gotta Disconnect, From All The Pressure And Stress.
The Traffic, The Smog And The Pains Of Rent.
If That’s Real Livin, Its Not For Me,
I Wanna Be Free, And Live In Peace, Come On.
From The Mountain Tops, Where The Wind Blows
To The Green Valleys Down Below.
Where The Snow Melts And The Rivers Flow
I Just Want To Live My Life.
Where The Trees Grow, And The Air Is Clean.
Where Nature’s Free Do To Her Thing, Everything Is One If You Know What I Mean.
I Just Want To Live My Life.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days
Another Version Of Life Lived, A Different Set Of Meanings
Another Way Of Thinking, A Different Type Of Me.
A Brand New Religion, One That Has Never Been Rehearsed
But Its Cursed, And This Curse Could Mean The End Of This Earth.
So Many People Worry About The Troubles That They Got At Hand
To Many Simple Solutions To Restoring This Land
And When Its All Said And Done,
And Were Gonna Tell Our Kids That We Did The Best We Could,
But We Know That We Didn’t.
Its Gettin Crazy, Summers Hot, When Its Freezin.
Huricans Getting Stronger Tearin Up The Southern Regions.
Big Fires Taking Lives, Its Pure Destruction.
Were At A Fork In The Road, Time To Choose The Right Junction.
Before Theirs Nothing Left,
We Need To Stop This Regression.
Get All The Leaders Of The World Together In A Session.
Only Thing, If Theirs A Shot That If Our Kids Would Thrive In A World That Is Growin, I Just Wanna Survive.
From The Mountain Tops, Where The Wind Blows
To The Green Valleys Down Below.
Where The Snow Melts And The Rivers Flow
I Just Want To Live My Life.
Where The Trees Grow, And The Air Is Clean.
Where Nature’s Free Do To Her Thing, Everything Is One If You Know What I Mean.
I Just Want To Live My Life.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days.
I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner, I’m Proud To Be A Stoner.
Yes I Am, For The Rest Of My Days
March 8th, 2009 at 8:40 am
huh……that was something all right
March 8th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Doctorchaos, what part of “I’m going to take ten massive bong rips before continuing to write this,” did you not understand?
March 8th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Doctorchaos, that was the joke, dude. You didn’t get it? You must be in law school or something, no sense a humor.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:27 am
I applaud you Swaim for submitting this article! In appreciation, I commend 2 of the 12 tokes I will do before writing my own mini-article!
I remember reading on NORML’s (National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws) website a few months back that the United States would generate/save 10-to-14 Billion dollars annually if they legalized (I’m not talking decriminalizing it for a $25.00 fine if your pulled over with it either; nor am I referring to letting only terminal patients use it for medicinal purposes. I mean walking into any CVS or Wallgreens and picking up a pound of Phunk for $40.00 (The price of which I’m estimating to after a market has been established and prices become competitive like good cheep wine) Marijuana.
The real kicker is how much we would generate/save if they also legalized Hemp!
(For those among us who have yet to research it: Hemp not the stalk of a marijuana plant left-over after harvesting the buds. Hemp is a part of the Cannabis family and cannot be used to become inebriated off of. Unlike lady Mary Jane, Hemp contains (roughly) only 1-to-2% THC and high amounts of cannabinoids (Refer to bottom footnote on definition of Cannabinoid) that counter-act the effects of THC, there-by preventing them from causing ANY of the “feel-good” effects in the body.
Hemp is good for everything from:
Deriving fuel from in the form of ethanol (I wouldn’t honestly bother with it, but it’s a selling point so… Meh) and for burning for bio-fuels like sugarcane;
Processing the fibers into sheets of paper. Incidentally, a acre of Hemp produces x4 times the amount of oxygen as a average acre of heavy forest area. A double whammy!! GET RICH AND SAVE THE EARTH AT THE SAME TIME!
Housing and building materials in the form of the same fibers used to produce paper can also be made for construction purposes. (Again; get rich, more oxygen)
It is well known that, while I realize I’m referring to Marijuana here, Cannabis is used/has been used by many of the greatest visionaries, musicians, inventors, and artists—the least of which being Picasso himself—to “get the creative juices flowing”.
Textiles have long been early selling point for the industrialization of Hemp in the form of fabric that can me made spun and woven into clothes that are Eco-friendly and cheep to produce. (Again! GET RICH AND SAVE THE EARTH!—AND BE FEASHIONABLE!!)
I’m not done yet so you may want to get a snack while I finish up. How about a Hemp-butter and Jelly sandwich on Hemp-flat-bread with a cold glass of Hemp-milk, washed down with a thermos of Hemp-tea to aid the digestion? (Recipes abound around the world that allow the industrialization of hemp, from oil to nearly anything that soybeans can do) (Q&A: How many acres of farmland is used to cultivate soybeans in the United States? A: 50%. Do the math)
So why don’t we get with… Australia, Canada, China, Finland, France, Germany, Great Britain, Hungary, India, Japan, Poland, Russia, Spain, Switzerland, Egypt, Korea, Thailand, Ukraine, etc?
Because it’s part of the same family of Marijuana.
Doesn’t seem worth it if you ask me…)
(NOTE: Some states of the Unites States have legalized Hemp under State Law)
Want to get involved? Join NORML at NORML(dot)org and help us behead the primary income of Drug Cartels everywhere and REALLY stimulate the U.S. economy!! Marijuana is expected to be legal anywhere from later this year, or sometime next year! Join the fight and help us get it here faster!!
(can·nab·i·noid (kə-nāb’ə-noid’) Pronunciation Key
n. Any of various organic substances, such as THC, found in cannabis.)
March 8th, 2009 at 8:23 am
You know I would have to say number one is the greatest argument in history.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I ufed to be againft the legalization of pot. But now I fay let the farmerf grow it and tax the fhit out of it. We could eliminate the deficit in about 6 monthf
March 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Im stoned and so fucking confused…
March 8th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Rollin, rollin, rollin =P
March 8th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Jesus Swaim, were YOU on weed when you wrote this shit.
Stay in front of the camera, you are hereby forbidden to ever write stuff again.
NO!
Pen DOWN!
Bad Monkey, NO BANANA!
I think I’d rather have no updates in the weekend than the half ass crap usualy churned out with seconds to spare before the deadlines.
I’m sure it’s tough having to come up with stuff on the weekend when you’re hungover and trying to dissolve a dead hooker in a bathtub full of lye, but hey, you’re supposed to be a professional.
Handle it and be funny, or stick solely to videos.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Just think about the blow to organized crime. 2Pac may have my full support as a rapper, but lets get rid of this whole ‘Thug Life’ thing already.
March 8th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Weed is for stoners
Weed helps with boners
Weed makes everything nice
Don’t criticize it
Just legalize it
And bring down the price
If you’ve never tried some
I promise it’s fun
It will only make you smile
But don’t get caught
Smokin’ the dank pot
Or they’ll put your ass on trial
March 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Exile is the perfect example of the good old American double standard, look, alcohol is legal, alcohol causes just as much problems as pot, the way I see it, legalize pot or reenact prohibition, but wait prohibition failed miserably and resulted in an assload of crime so that people could get drunk.
So yeah, were better off legalizing pot and taxing the shit out of it.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:53 am
The legalization of pot will do nothing but please Democraps.
Fuck those Commie Sons of Bitches. The only thing that should make democraps happy is the cold embrace of death.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I live in Amsterdam. ‘Nuff said.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Save whats left of your forests? Well that’s a rather stupid sentiment as the United States currently has more trees on its land than it did 100 years ago, not to mention the housing crisis is likely saving more trees than legalizing weed ever would… there’s no need for tree hugging these days. At least not in your country.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:28 am
no, please don’t legalize it.
who can we dutch then sell our weed to? in the netherlands only losers and tourists use that stuff, so that’s gonna cost us bussiness. just keep forbidding it, that will convince all the stupid kids that drugs is really cool, and thus keep us in trade. the sales to cancer-patients just aren’t cutting it.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:26 am
weed does less damage than alcohol, all it does is make happy. Whats wrong with happy? What the world needs now is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOve sweet love. Yeah. You said it, dawg.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:22 am
“Even if they do, there will be dealers to offer the same stuff at a more competitive price, they won’t just disappear…” haha are you kidding? Why would I go to some strange dude that I don’t trust when I can just walk into a convenient store. Would you buy homemade alcohol or cigarettes off the street if it was cheeper? I think most sane people would welcome weed being sold in a more secure setting.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:14 am
It’s pretty much legal here in Vancouver. Legal enough that I can blow smoke in a cops face and not have to worry about a tasering.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Not to mention the revenue for the gov when they tax it.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:06 am
MarijuanaLobby.org tracks potential tax revenue for every State and City in America, the numbers are REALLY compelling.
MarijuanaLobby.org: Change we can engage in…
MarijuanaLobby.org
Yes, We Can America:
A) save what’s left of our forests,
B) ease the suffering of chemotherapy patients, and
C) create desperately needed revenue streams for American communities during their time of greatest need.
MarijuanaLobby.org seeks to enable American Patriots and Policy Makers in their continued efforts to decriminalize responsible Marijuana use in the United States by providing a petition portal specific to the issue of marijuana decriminalization, and by providing additional tools with which to empower citizen activists through education and public discourse.
MarijuanaLobby.org believes passionately, Marijuana use should not be a crime.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:46 am
great article yet again, lol. That whole business with the drug cartel shutting down if it was legalized, i brought that up with some people ages ago, and they argued against it, so i called them racist and dumb. They told me i was suspended from school for a week. politics is fun.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:33 am
The best argument?
It’s legal in the Netherlands, and we are doing quite fine here.
March 8th, 2009 at 6:29 am
i agree this had promise from the title but is lame
March 8th, 2009 at 6:26 am
O (quesadilla)
March 8th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Best pòst ever? Or beswst POST EVER
(also posting while high wooooo)
March 8th, 2009 at 6:18 am
this is really weak, not even close to funny
March 8th, 2009 at 6:10 am
They call them fingers but I have never seen them Fing, Oh Wait there they go!!!!!!!!!!
March 8th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Even if they do, there will be dealers to offer the same stuff at a more competitive price, they won’t just disappear…
And honestly why start coffee shops in Cali? It’s far from potential tourism which is a great economic incentive like it was for Amsterdam.
As long as Canada doesn’t do it forget it anyways
March 8th, 2009 at 5:56 am
What’s the worst that can happen? I mean, it’s not like we’d get stoners tripping out all over the streets. I say we give it a nice trial period.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Yeah, not only was it well-written, but very well laid out (I’m liking the beta, guys), and the Dr. Dre and Snoop accompaniment was perfect.
If it should be legalized anywhere, that place is undoubtedly Cali.
Why is this filed under “Goldeneye?”
March 8th, 2009 at 5:46 am
quesadilla
March 8th, 2009 at 5:46 am
My compliments to whomever did your layout today.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:43 am
i couldnt agree with you any more mr sswaim
its actually physically impossible
for me to agree with you anymore
if i were to agree anymore
i would be fused to your midsection
which would make for a hilarious and awkward predicament
in a related story
im writing a sitcom about 2 people awkwardly joined at the midsection.
wanna go over some parts with me?
March 8th, 2009 at 5:42 am
I think we should legalize.
March 8th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Here man. *hands over Quesadilla*
No need to worry about the green stuff in it. it’s… uhhhhh…. Basil?
March 8th, 2009 at 5:21 am
Dude, it’s Sunday. SUNDAY! Where you at?!
March 8th, 2009 at 5:10 am
I agree it should be legal, but I find myself unwillingly losing respect for anyone using drugs of any kind. And I so loved being a TAM Superfriend……