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Dr. Mister Prophet

A while ago, I wrote a piece about Reference Movies and wrote a fake trailer for something called Vampire Movie. That movie exists now, only it's called Transylmania. In another article I wrote about every joke the internet would make about balloon boy, I mentioned Lonely Island parodies, and how they're like making a Scary Movie-type spoof but all the jokes are about Blazing Saddles. Well that movie basically exists now, only it's called The 40-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall And Felt Superbad About It and instead of Blazing Saddles, it makes jokes about The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Superbad. That's exactly the movie I want to see, a MOVIE THAT PARODIES SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY FUNNY. Also, feel free to take a moment and relish in the fact that the movie's imdb page does not have anyone credited as a writer.

Sooooo, in honor of these two momentous occasions (and seeing as how I'm apparently some kind of terrifying prophet), I am going to give my pitch for the next logical step: a reference movie that I like to call The Scary Movie That Epic Movied While Date Movie Disaster Movied The Spartans Who Referenced Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and Scary Movie 5. I haven't seen all of the source material yet, so I figure for now the movie will follow the plot of Scary Movie.

Two Sample Jokes:

1. There's a part where the guy/killer/Spartan/tornado hasn't gotten any from the girlfriend who looks like Anna Faris and Alyson Hannigan (she is also an earthquake and a Spartan). They finally fuck, and the dude splooges himself all the way up to the ceiling and he's covered in that splooge he splooged. Then the splooge PUKES and says something like "It's a living."

2. So one of the hurricanes/Spartans that also looks like a Wayans brother is in the bathroom stall with his ear up to a glory hole, then a fake 'ol dick stabs him through the skull! Remember that? But WAIT! Then the dick pukes and is all "Wise guy, huh?" and then there's this big dance number with all of the flash floods and one of the Spartans that looks like a guy who looks like Topher Grace drinks a can of Dr. Pepper and says "i can has cheeseburger."

If you're not sold on the movie yet, you'll never be sold on it, so I'll leave it at that, but get ready to be embarrassed when this movie is inevitably made. Don't worry, I'll make sure to come back in 5 months when that happens and probably write something about "Article Movie," which is just a movie version of all the articles I have to end up writing about Reference Movies.

One last thing before I leave... In the interest of proving I'm a prophet, I want to present the following video. I made this in 1998, 10 years before The Dark Knight came out and 11 years before Christian Bale's infamous rant.

Bow to me.

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Cody Johnston

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