Every Joke About Balloon Boy The Internet Will Make (If It Hasn't Already)
If youre lucky, you have no idea who Balloon Boy is. If youre anyone else, you know that Balloon Boy is the boy that wasnt in the balloon, because his parents were just trying to get enough media coverage to finagle a reality TV show out of a network, like that wretched Octomom woman. All I have to say is, the more the internet and media latch onto Balloon Boy, the more likely it is his parents will get that TV show theyve been lobbying for, and they do not deserve that TV show, even if it's filmed during their inevitable time in prison.
So, please, lets just get these jokes out of the way, move on, and forget this horrid Balloon Boy thing ever happened.
The Viral Video Mashup
Any time the internet grabs a hold of something, it always feels compelled to put that thing beside all of the other things it has grabbed a hold of over the years. Seriously, YouTube should make a video called Christian Bale Freaks Out While Grape Lady Rick Rolls The Keyboard Cat, One Cup, and every time some new meme pops up, just tack it onto the end. Time should not be wasted on actually making these viral video mashups, so lets just agree that maybe we dont need to see something called Balloon Boy After The Dentist.
Balloon Boy On Different Websites
Balloon Boys MomandBalloon Boys Dadlike this
America Hey, Balloon Boy, where you at?
The News Yeah, lolz.You in that balloon?
Balloon Boy I cant tell you, its for a tv show.
Ballon Boys DadShhhhhh!
Cracked
5 Real Life Balloon Boys (And How They Could Kick Balloon Boys Ass)
7 Balloons From Your Childhood You Didn't Know Were Awesome
CollegeHumor
The two things I can think of that CollegeHumor might do with this is something actually called Balloon Boy where Balloon Boy is some kind of super hero.Maybe there would be jokes, but the production value would definitely be through the roof.
They also might do some kind of song parody/music video.Maybe a parody of R. Kellys I Believe I Can Fly, because you already have the flying in a balloon angle, and if you make it I Believe I Can Lie, you can get in some good stuff about the hoax part of the story.The videos production value would be through the roof.
Theyd also probably do the above Facebook joke.
The Onion
Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade Comes Early, Gets Highest Ratings Ever
BalloonBoy @Balloon Im not on you!
The 2 Kanye Jokes
Also
For some odd reason, the internet seems to be quite good at taking something already funny and using it for their own selfish gain.The worst offenders tend to gravitate towards the already-parodies-of-rap-songs songs of The Lonely Island.Youd think doing a parody of a parody is pointless, lazy, and lazy again, but people seem to love to do it, not realizing that they themselves are the actual joke put on display.
Sample dialogue behind this variety of genius:
I got this funny idea for a song.Its a parody of Amish Paradise.Its called Amish Paralyzed and its about-
Wheelchaired Amish people, yeah, I get it.
Right, but it would be to the tune of-
-Amish Paradise.
Right, that parody of-
Gangstas Paradise.
Right.
Thats brilliant.
I also think we should do a Scary Movie-type spoof but all of the jokes would be about Blazing Saddles.
Let me get my checkbook.
Im going to save the internet the trouble and do their work for them:
The Accompanied Continent - I'm On A Balloon
I hope thats enough for you, internet. Please stop talking about Balloon Boy.His parents do not deserve to have you talk about him.
If you need one more, heres my joke about Balloon Boy.Its a one-question quiz that I think all news people should take before reporting on a story.
Where isnt balloon boy?
A) A balloon.
B) Not a box in the attic.
C) Either of the above.
Somehow, no one ever gets an A on this quiz.
[Author's note: It fucking happened already. Sigh...]
This was a good f**king article, all of you can go to hell.
ReplyJesus, why is it that every time I stumble into another one of Cody's articles, half the comments are always trashing him? I sometimes see authors getting flamed on other articles... but for Cody, it seems to be a regular theme. Did he do something in the past to make you all hate him or do you all hate him because it's cool to do so? (e.g. The last three presidents, who had/have the misfortune to be alive during the Internet age.)
Replyprobably the funniest article by Cody i've read in a long time. good stuff
Replyhmm... parodies of parodies.... interesting.. sounds almost familiar
Reply3/5
ReplyI must admit I laughed.
The difference between you and SWAIM? He is funny.
ReplyCody and DOB are my favorite columnists
ReplyP.S. Seanbaby sucks
Clank.
ReplyNow that that's outta the way, I can't believe there's not one Heenen balloon with Jiffy Pop logo photoshopped on the side image on the whole damn Internet.
You sure showed balloon boy
ReplyPlease put that video on Youtube, Cody. We need a Parody "Parody" Parody!
Replygood stuff.
Replyif you think a lonely island parody, or indeed a lonely island song, is funnier than this article, you should fucking kill yourself.
take a good hard looking at the motherfucking BALLOON :D
ReplyLOL That video was best!
ReplyThe video was hilarious! Great job, Cody.
ReplyLet me clarify - a story that supposedly involves a small child flying away, then realizing it was a hoax. That makes it even more ridiculous.
ReplyI thought the Lonely Island parody was about 50x funnier than this article. The Balloon Boy story is/was a web sensation. Understandably, people are going to be curious about a story that shuts down the Denver airport and involves a small child flying away in a balloon. Expecting people not to make jokes about something so ridiculous is quite stupid, frankly. But, like I said, I laughed at the video and not once at this article, so, there you go.
ReplyVery nice. I'm tired of this Balloon Boy shit. Thank you.
ReplyNice work buddy :)
ReplyGood job Cody, you finally made something funny. Now start making this kind of quality more often and I'll regularly read your column.
ReplyFinally!! this was actually funny, congratulations man
Reply