If you’re lucky, you have no idea who “Balloon Boy” is. If you’re anyone else, you know that Balloon Boy is the boy that wasn’t in the balloon, because his parents were just trying to get enough media coverage to finagle a reality TV show out of a network, like that wretched Octomom woman. All I have to say is, the more the internet and media latch onto Balloon Boy, the more likely it is his parents will get that TV show they’ve been lobbying for, and they do not deserve that TV show, even if it’s filmed during their inevitable time in prison.
So, please, let’s just get these jokes out of the way, move on, and forget this horrid “Balloon Boy” thing ever happened.
The Viral Video Mashup
Any time the internet grabs a hold of something, it always feels compelled to put that thing beside all of the other things it has grabbed a hold of over the years. Seriously, YouTube should make a video called “Christian Bale Freaks Out While Grape Lady Rick Rolls The Keyboard Cat, One Cup,” and every time some new meme pops up, just tack it onto the end. Time should not be wasted on actually making these viral video mashups, so let’s just agree that maybe we don’t need to see something called “Balloon Boy After The Dentist.”
Balloon Boy On Different Websites
Balloon Boy is hiding
Balloon Boy’s Mom and Balloon Boy’s Dad like this
America Hey, Balloon Boy, where you at?
The News Yeah, lolz. You in that balloon?
Balloon Boy I can’t tell you, it’s for a tv show.
Ballon Boy’s Dad Shhhhhh!
Cracked
5 Real Life Balloon Boys (And How They Could Kick Balloon Boy’s Ass)
7 Balloons From Your Childhood You Didn’t Know Were Awesome
CollegeHumor
The two things I can think of that CollegeHumor might do with this is something actually called “Balloon Boy” where Balloon Boy is some kind of super hero. Maybe there would be jokes, but the production value would definitely be through the roof.
They also might do some kind of song parody/music video. Maybe a parody of R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly,” because you already have the “flying in a balloon” angle, and if you make it “I Believe I Can Lie,” you can get in some good stuff about the hoax part of the story. The video’s production value would be through the roof.
They’d also probably do the above Facebook joke.
The Onion
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Comes Early, Gets Highest Ratings Ever
BalloonBoy @Balloon I’m not on you!
The 2 Kanye Jokes
Also…
The Lonely Island “Parody”
For some odd reason, the internet seems to be quite good at taking something already funny and using it for their own selfish gain. The worst offenders tend to gravitate towards the already-parodies-of-rap-songs songs of The Lonely Island. You’d think doing a parody of a parody is pointless, lazy, and lazy again, but people seem to love to do it, not realizing that they themselves are the actual joke put on display.
Sample dialogue behind this variety of genius:
“I got this funny idea for a song. It’s a parody of Amish Paradise. It’s called Amish Paralyzed and it’s about-“
“Wheelchaired Amish people, yeah, I get it.”
“Right, but it would be to the tune of-“
“-Amish Paradise.”
“Right, that parody of-”
“Gangsta’s Paradise.”
“Right.”
“That’s brilliant.”
“I also think we should do a Scary Movie-type spoof but all of the jokes would be about Blazing Saddles.”
“Let me get my checkbook.”
I’m going to save the internet the trouble and do their work for them:
The Accompanied Continent - I’m On A Balloon
I hope that’s enough for you, internet. Please stop talking about Balloon Boy. His parents do not deserve to have you talk about him.
If you need one more, here’s my joke about Balloon Boy. It’s a one-question quiz that I think all news people should take before reporting on a story.
Where isn’t balloon boy?
A) A balloon.
B) Not a box in the attic.
C) Either of the above.
Somehow, no one ever gets an “A” on this quiz.
[Author's note: It fucking happened already. Sigh...]
This entry was posted on Monday, October 19th, 2009 at 6:21 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 19th, 2009 at 6:29 am
hmm… parodies of parodies…. interesting.. sounds almost familiar
November 7th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
3/5
I must admit I laughed.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
The difference between you and SWAIM? He is funny.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Cody and DOB are my favorite columnists
P.S. Seanbaby sucks
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Clank.
Now that that’s outta the way, I can’t believe there’s not one Heenen balloon with Jiffy Pop logo photoshopped on the side image on the whole damn Internet.
October 30th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
You sure showed balloon boy
October 30th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Please put that video on Youtube, Cody. We need a Parody “Parody” Parody!
October 29th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
good stuff.
if you think a lonely island parody, or indeed a lonely island song, is funnier than this article, you should fucking kill yourself.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
take a good hard looking at the motherfucking BALLOON
October 28th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
LOL That video was best!
October 27th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
The video was hilarious! Great job, Cody.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Let me clarify - a story that supposedly involves a small child flying away, then realizing it was a hoax. That makes it even more ridiculous.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
I thought the Lonely Island parody was about 50x funnier than this article. The Balloon Boy story is/was a web sensation. Understandably, people are going to be curious about a story that shuts down the Denver airport and involves a small child flying away in a balloon. Expecting people not to make jokes about something so ridiculous is quite stupid, frankly. But, like I said, I laughed at the video and not once at this article, so, there you go.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Very nice. I’m tired of this Balloon Boy shit. Thank you.
October 25th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Nice work buddy
October 25th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Good job Cody, you finally made something funny. Now start making this kind of quality more often and I’ll regularly read your column.
October 25th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Finally!! this was actually funny, congratulations man
October 25th, 2009 at 11:55 am
That…. wasn’t funny. At all. If Cracked has to give Cody his own little section of the site to post on where no one will read any of this crap so that he’ll stop pointing the gun at them, then that’s prefectly fine. Anything to keep his blight from affecting the good comedy on this site.
October 25th, 2009 at 3:56 am
Good job, dude! You’ve got it made when the haters like you!
October 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
video was the best thing that has ever been in the history of ever, keep this shit up!
October 24th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Love the video.. Cody, you are making it, even if you are slightly insane.
October 24th, 2009 at 4:34 am
Hur Kunht-nuckle huuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
October 24th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Wow. This fucking rules! Cody may have the chops after all.
October 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 am
That Kanye example is not nearly as hilarious/disgusting as how “RIP Kanye” became a trending topic on Twitter, which subsequently led to people retweeting “YO KANYE, IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT BALLOON BOY WAS THE GREATEST HOAX OF ALL TIME.”
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:43 am
I can’t believe someone actually did a Lonely Island cover relating to the balloon boy. After you AND SWAIM both went on about the pointlessness of it.
This whole Balloon boy thing just reminds me so much of twelve monkeys with the boy in the barn pretending to be down a well, so watch out, a virus may be coming to wipe out 99% of the human race…
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:48 pm
One joke you missed http://www.explosm.net/comics/1831/
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:21 pm
The Kanye one was funny… the rest was..lame.
October 22nd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Before this article, I literally had no idea any of this had happened. Also, I’m not quite sure what the “this” in my previous statement exactly pertains to. But if it’s a reality show about bad parents coping to raise an airborne child while…IN PRISON! then it has my full support.
October 22nd, 2009 at 10:12 am
Kanye West would say: “Cody doesn’t care about his readers”
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:55 am
Mash-up/parody of Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie”.
“I did it all for the cookie
No the show
The cookie
No the show
The Oreo cookie
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!”
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:18 am
I’ved like you since your first article, keep up the good work!
October 21st, 2009 at 9:01 pm
This was definitely a vast improvement over the other crap you’ve written, but it was NOT funny. Your ideas aren’t especially original and the writing is fairly juvenile. Please don’t get too complacent– all of these glowing reviews are just relief that this article isn’t as unbearable as all the past ones. But you still need a LOT of work to stay on this site. I actually really look forward to reading a new list on Cracked, but when I see this sort of thing, it makes me mad. All the writers in the world, and this is who you picked, Cracked? I’m seriously disappointed. And I don’t see it getting better anytime soon, either.
October 21st, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Great, you’re developing into some good stuff Doc!
October 21st, 2009 at 6:34 pm
bravo Cody, i really liked this one, keep it up ^-^
rooting for ya
October 21st, 2009 at 4:24 pm
This proves that Cody can write more than abstract stories that use shock value for laughs (not that thats bad, but a mans gotta know his limitations). Also it proves that he has varying wirting styles. I was a Hater at first - even was gonna boycott Cracked until they booted his ass - but now I’m glad that I stuck around.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I’m genuinely surprised. I actually enjoyed this article, which is a step up from the usual Cody stuff. Keep up this trend. On a barely related note, Collegehumor actually has done 2 different videos regarding the balloon boy (one mere hours since the story broke). Sadly no superheroes were involved…
October 21st, 2009 at 11:53 am
I rarely say this about anything I read online, but this article was pure genius.
However, you forgot:
“i kan haz rescue plz lol” and a screenshot of Heene’s face with the subtitle “You said it was for TV” followed by “PWNED!!!!111!”
October 21st, 2009 at 11:40 am
How charming. An article full of balloon boy jokes, which is also about how we should make them anymore, because you already made them.
The only redeeming quality this little piece of genius has is the fact that it wasn’t originally posted on Cody’s blog over a year ago. GO GET ‘EM, CODY!
October 21st, 2009 at 9:10 am
looooove love love
October 21st, 2009 at 2:56 am
I kinda missed 4chan in there, undountedly shopping a picture of the kid in the box with pedobear
October 20th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Haha, very nice article, and very true on all counts…the internet is a pony with few tricks. I thought your first few articles weren’t amazing, but this one really made me chuckle. Hope to see more funny from you in the future.
Also, I really think the internet needs help realizing that something that is already a parody does NOT need a parody. Really.
October 20th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Personally, I find the comments on all of Cody’s posts to be very entertaining in their own right. This particular column was a letdown for that, and I blame Cody. Eat shit you fucking ass-tard!
Nah, just kidding.
October 20th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Hey Cody,
I likt yor articul.
Now go fuk yerself
October 20th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I call bullshit….cody didnt write this…..its to funny for his humor….so i believe this is a hoax in itself.
they should have just shot the balloon down then….shoot the box the boy was in….not saying you have to shoot the boy….just the box he was in….with him in it.
October 20th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Good job, Cody
October 20th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Hey joke-boy, ya making them jokes? Yeeaahhh… jokes…the old laugh-laugh…
Anyway does posting on this thing make me as dumb as the rest of these people? They seem really bitter
October 20th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Balloon Boy = Auschwitz.
October 20th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdUH8AZ1-a8&feature=player_embedded
IT EXISTS.
October 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
this guy is awesome!
October 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Just…thank you for doing this.
October 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am
AWESOME. that is all.
October 20th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Had quite a few laughs in there.
Definitely one of your more entertaining articles…
Hope you maintain this quality.
Good Luck
October 20th, 2009 at 10:19 am
cody’s articles seem, to me, incredibly sophisticated. mostly it is an extreme awareness of pop culture, especially the generation of kids who grew up in the mid90s and found themselves in college right in the midst of the techno/internet boom. so these commentaries are extremely elusive in terms of ‘humor’. mostly they make you think and laugh about how ridiculous the world has become lately; so think about that for a bit. ever heard of the ‘meta’. well, that’s what’s operating here. i think.
October 20th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Loved it.
October 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Hilarious!
Oh and College humor also got something down:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923361
October 20th, 2009 at 9:35 am
excellent. i cannot wait for the next article
October 20th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Jesus Christ, I’m being graded?!
October 20th, 2009 at 8:22 am
And that, Jon, is why you don’t write articles for a humor website.
October 20th, 2009 at 7:29 am
How about Balloon Boy = September 11th equations.
1) Where were you when you heard about Balloon Boy?
2) After pitching their reality show, and internal ABC memo titled “Heene Family Determined to Attention Whore in the United States” went ignored.
3) Balloon Boy WAS the September 11th of our lifetime.
October 20th, 2009 at 7:14 am
That wasn’t that funny, granted it wasn’t terrible either, but yeah it was a big MEH
October 20th, 2009 at 6:18 am
Great stuff, kid. I knew you had it in you!
A few more articles like this and I’ll finally be able to stop pretending I like your columns and actually start liking them for real!
October 20th, 2009 at 5:11 am
The Accompanied Continent. Very good, sir.
October 20th, 2009 at 5:07 am
ha, that line about getting enough exposure to idiots on the internet was hilarious….oh wait, that was from Buchholzs article….just kidding, pretty funny actually.
October 20th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Awesome. Some of your original work was swketchy and not that great, but your definitely getting better. These jokes, especially the Kanye ones were awesome, eh. Keep it up!
October 20th, 2009 at 4:50 am
“Loch Ness was the Greatest hoax of all time!”
Don’t fucking change Cody.
October 20th, 2009 at 3:45 am
hahaha, very funny fella!
October 20th, 2009 at 3:19 am
You absolutely hit the nail on the head with this one and I’m really starting to like where this column is going, it was a slow start but you’re reaching for greatness. I especially like that small, carefully disguised distain for Cracked and its painfully predictable format. Cracked needs more self-deprecation because let’s be honest, it may be great but it’s also pretty crappy in its own way and is highly deserving of some ridicule.
October 20th, 2009 at 1:13 am
Aww. You reminded me why you’re kinda sorta my new favorite. I’ll even forget that whole Foul House thing.
October 20th, 2009 at 12:26 am
ahahaha you’ve still got it dude
October 19th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
have to agree with chris. in general i’ve thought most of cody’s stuff has been garbage, but this was actually pretty funny. again though, like his previous articles, mimicking/imitating bad writers/bad trends does not necessarily mean you ARE a good writer. this article was definitely a step in the right direction, but i hope he pans out beyond “isn’t it funny when i write like a stupid ______ doing ______.”
October 19th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
I’m not saying that YouTube “I’m in a box” video is good, but you have to admit, the production value is through the roof.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
I did not find this funny!
October 19th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
I found a great dating site________ R i c h K i s s i n g. C O M ________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties. what’s the most important is that you don’t have to be a millionaire, but you can meet one. Charlie Sheen found his true love on that site in 2007.
October 19th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
THe Kanye joke got me!!! Hell Yeah Cody. Get it! GET THAT SHIT!
October 19th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
*too
October 19th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
This was actually quite funny. I don’t like the majority of Cody’s articles, but I am not to proud to give credit where it is due. This was a good article. Keep it up.
October 19th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
The “on a balloon” video got me great work cody
October 19th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Excellent. I laughed out loud. I mean, I L’ed O L.
October 19th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Hahahahaha
October 19th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
“YouTube is down for maintenance and will be back shortly.” The Hell?
October 19th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Finally Cody, you show cracked how awesome you can be. Great job.
October 19th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Thanks Cody for holding out with all the criticism. I love your articles, keep it up you are hilarious.
October 19th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Cody, you officially have my respect