At midnight on Monday evening, copies of the latest book by Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol, went on sale to interested consumers of fast paced bullshit. A direct sequel to The Da Vinci Code, the new novel features Brown’s go-to protagonist Robert Langdon, performing all manner of breathtaking off-the-cuff art appreciation while on the run from shadowy forces. More than that, Brown’s latest is a stirring gong clash for the publishing world: proof that you don’t need wizards or vampires to make your book a bestseller, so long as you write for a fifth grade audience.
To prepare for this event, last night I camped out at my local bookstore to get a copy. Cracked doesn’t rely on advance copies for review, as those are frequently sent out to reviewers in fragrant, jewel encrusted wrappings, perhaps to tempt less upstanding critics into squeezing more favorable reviews out into the toilet bowls that are their respective publications. That’s right, here at Cracked we buy our copies for review, if not shoplift them outright. That’s Our Commitment To You.
Six hectic hours of caffeine fueled reading later and I’m here to report to you on whether this book is worth your time or, more accurately, whether the first 80 and last six pages are worth your time. The short answer: Yes, but only because we both know how valuable your time is.
The novel begins with Robert Langdon being invited to speak at a conference in Washington by a man who will inevitably die in the first few pages. Sure enough, after arriving in the Capitol building, he discovers a gruesome murder scene laden with dense Masonic imagery and blood. Langdon then spends the next couple of pages kicking down doors and looking behind curtains, trying to find who’s fucking with him. He is pissed. “Who do you think I am, fucking Angela Lansbury?” he screams.
With no response forthcoming to his query, Langdon reluctantly takes on the role of elderly woman detective one more time, to investigate this murder and the preposterous circumstances behind it. As was widely rumored, Freemasonry plays a key role in this novel, particular its ties to Washington - both the man and the city. A whirlwind trip around D.C. offers scenes set in the Capitol building, the Library of Congress and the Smithsonian, where Langdon decodes some of the dense symbolism present in the famous works of art there. The central secret all these works point to is too good to spoil, but let’s just say that George Washington’s penis was made out of solid diamond and he used it to communicate with aliens. I won’t say anything more.
By fucking them. OK, that’s it. Not another word.
Unfortunately, setting the novel in the nation’s capital makes it feel like the book is covering the same ground as those National Treasure films. It really feels like the lengthy delay between the publication of The Lost Symbol and The Da Vinci Code may have cost Brown some of his momentum–he’s been overtaken by his imitators. Still, Brown’s eye for detail and knowledge of the minutiae of famous historical sites is superb, and it immediately becomes clear he’s still a master at weaving a gripping yarn. A scene where Langdon and his companion visit the Lincoln Memorial and climb up the hollow pant leg, to discover the true Emancipation Proclamation (it’s a huge gold penis) packs more tension and interest than a dozen Nick Cage turdstravaganzas.
I won’t spoil who the true villain of the novel is (let’s just say he’s the CEO of Apple) but the antagonist who features most prominently throughout the course of the novel is a tattooed Masonic thug named Mal’akh. Throughout the novel he uses his secret Masonic powers (polishing, grout work and levitation) to stymie Langdon’s efforts at every turn. Like many of Brown’s villains however, he comes across as a little flat. Worse, Brown’s attempts to inject some personality via a catchphrase (“I will kick you right in the box!”) feel forced and unnatural.
Brown’s greatest skill as a writer is his ability to infuse a sense of tension in all scenes, and it’s in full effect here. Curiously, though, he backpedals in some scenes in an attempt to infuse a note of levity in the proceedings. This is an admirable goal, as the unrelenting tension can be overbearing at times, but many of these “comic” scenes too frequently degenerate into the realm of slapstick. What would be a nail biting chase down the Potomac, is nearly ruined when Langdon spends much of it dragging the preserved corpse of John Adams behind his boat. They end up escaping the villain and winning a waterskiing competition, but the whole chapter just felt disrespectful to me.
Langdon’s romantic interest this time around is Dr. Katherine Solomon, a specialist in noetic science, which is a field I’m not even going to bother relating here. OK, I lied. It’s horseshit. Regardless of her career, like all of Langdon’s companions, her sole purpose is to ask a lot of leading questions to Langdon as they rush past important pieces of art. She’s also the descendant of King Solomon and has a map to the moon tattooed on her back–facts which may become relevant in later chapters. I won’t spoil it for you.
The frantic pace of the book helps conceal some shortcomings. Notably, the motivations held by many of the characters break down when studied closely. In one scene, instead of waiting for the police like a normal person might, Langdon and Katherine will run off with the president’s trousers in search of the next clue. Mal’akh is even worse. Bizarrely, at one point he drops everything to go to Taco Bell for Fourthmeal. The frantic pace means this will all seem to make perfect sense during a casual read through, but later on you’ll think back and realize in every scene someone was eating a chalupa.
The long delay in this book sparked rumors that Brown had developed a case of writer’s block. Others have less charitably suggested that, buoyed by success, Brown had developed a distaste for the formula that made him a success and was raging internally at having to write another such piece. You can see this conflict when in one early scene, a character remarks to Langdon about how much he enjoyed reading about his antics in Paris a few months ago in The Da Vinci Code. When Langdon turns his back the character makes a “jerking off” motion with his hand. Even stranger is another scene set at a cocktail party, were actor Tom Hanks meets Langdon and tells him that he likes the “cut of his jib.” Another character nearby, introduced as Ban Drown, comments: “Can you believe the sheep who keep eating up this shit?” He then shares a high five with Tom Hanks, before they drive off together in a Hummer-limo full of models. After that, the next 11 pages are left blank (although in my copy a couple appeared to be stuck together with spit).
When all was said and done though, I ultimately enjoyed the first 80 and last six pages of The Lost Symbol, and have every reason to believe the rest of the pages were about as good. It was fast paced, interesting and was printed in a nice, easy to read typeface. There were shortcomings, but despite those, I’m give this book the highest rating I’ve ever awarded a book here on Cracked: two stars.
**
___
Special bonus content for die-hard Bucholz-fans (hi grandma): An off-site article I wrote for the upcoming film Zombieland, entitled How Iconic Movie Characters Would Deal With A Zombie Attack. You should definitely check it out.
___
This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
10 Job Hunting Strategies Guaranteed to Get You Arrested
Why We Should Be Terrified of the 2012 Apocalypse
11 Cracked Lifehacking Tips
18 Hilarious Modes of Transport Science Gave Up On Too Soon
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
November 16th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
You should actually read the book before making a review…
November 15th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Since when do novels have to be historically accurate? If you read this book or The Da Vinci Code expecting a history lesson, you’re a lot lamer than Dan Brown could ever hope to be.
“I wish he’d just present his novels for what they are…” Really? Why? How many other authors do you expect to hold press conferences to say that their fictional books are fiction? Should Stephen King have gotten in front of a podium and said, “Your cell phone likely will not turn you into raging-lunatic-ultra-violent-zombie-thing”?And why the hell should Dan Brown? How successful would The Blair Witch Project have been if the trailer said it was movie about a made-up documentary? If you mistook an obvious work of fiction as fact and started running around telling people that Jesus’ great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter is a French cop, then that’s your problem.
November 14th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
vince, that’s not irony.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
ohhh nice info, keep it coming
November 4th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Welcome to Shopping ======== http://www.itemscool.com
Best quality, Best reputation , Best services
With our advanced manufacturing, production lines and well-organized sales networks, we can provide many products, such as apparel, shoes, caps, handbags, etc.
Our goal is “the best quality, best reputation and best services”. Your satisfaction is our main pursue. You can find the best products from us, meeting your different needs.
HOT SELL Product Brand is below:
Nike Air Jordan(1-25)/Jordan Six Ring/Jordan Fusion/Nike Shox/Air Max/AF1/Dunk: $32
Polo/Ed Hardy/Lacoste/Ca/A&F ……T-shirt:
Coach /Gucci/Lv/Ed Hardy/D&G/Fendi ……Handbag:$35
Christian Louboutin/Lv/Ed Hardy/Gucci/Coach/Lacoste/ Timbland……Shoe :$35
True Religion/Coogi/Evisu/Ed Hardy/Prada ……Jeans:$30
New era/Gucci/Ed hardy ……cap : $13
Okely/Coach/D&G/Fendi/Gucci/Armani ……sunglass : $15
Nike shoes: 32 $, True Religion jeans: 30 $, Ed Hardy, t-shirts: 12 $, NFL Jersey: 20 $, Boots UGG: 50 $
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
how about you go to HotBangz . Com and watch such things there lol
October 28th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
wanna watch free adults movies or naked pics?? pls check out for
free__ClassyMingle.c o m__ . Wanna find your sexy partner easier and more
effective?? Check out for free: –ClassyMingle.c o m–where you can meet
the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. What are you
waiting for? Find your sexy partner and hot movies NOW ! You will love it!
October 21st, 2009 at 2:33 pm
“Dan Brown is a moron, he makes history up as he goes along and then distorts fact for his fiction. He writes large piles of well writen crap.” This is from a review of the book I have in my inbox. . . .I agree Lol
October 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
“Bizarrely, at one point he drops everything to go to Taco Bell for Fourthmeal.”
LOL, Ironically enough I was feeling like Taco bell tonight.
October 17th, 2009 at 1:40 am
“Nova Says:
Dan Brown and Stephenie Meyer should get together and make a book.”
yea..
make a robert-edward-and that lead girl from twilight love triangle
October 15th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
__ClassyMingle.com__ is the best and largest online personals site dedicated to men and women seeking a higher caliber online dating experience.
Our clients include CEOs, Professional Athletes, Doctors, Lawyers, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Beauty Queens, Fitness Models, and Hollywood Celebrities,
just to name a few .Everyone is welcome here. You don’t have to be wealthy or famous.
October 14th, 2009 at 12:06 am
have a good health and keep away from the fast food
Thomas Jersey;
Thomas Jersey
McAlister Jersey;
Cody Jersey;
Dan Cody Jersey
October 8th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
[...] {A better review} {Dan Brown - The Lost Symbol}Get It! Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Welcome!!Sentences with only one wordGreg Oden Looks Like a Different PlayerThat’s what you said! [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
I wonder.. is it two stars out of two? Five? Ten? Or 100?
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:23 am
… It took you 6 hours to read 86 pages?
What?
September 30th, 2009 at 12:05 am
You really had me laughing, up until you said “I’m give this book…”
I’m give 99.3% of this article two raging chalupas.
The remaining .7% can meet me in grammar hell.
September 21st, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Lmao, the best part of all of Dan Brown’s books is the fact that Robert Langdon is a Smarter, and more adventerous version of Dan Brown who bangs girls like 20 years younger then him. I still like his books though. XD
September 21st, 2009 at 9:51 am
greatest review ever read, probably better than the book
September 19th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Hi, I’m a full-figured big beauty. But am single and often feel lonely at night. I feel it’s time for me to find a new boyfriend. Do you want to know me and see where it goes?
Check my photos first!
http://meetbigbeauty.bravehost.com
September 18th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Dan Brown and Stephenie Meyer should get together and make a book.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:25 am
“overtaken by his imitators” was a pretty silly thing to say about such a shameless thief. Dan Brown stole the idea of the Priori of Scion from Pierre Plantard, who used the name of a fraternal organization he belonged to which was primarily interested in campaigning for affordable housing as the basis for a fictitious pseudo-historical religious sect of former templars in positions of power. He made all that shit up in the early 60s, including fabricating “proof” that he himself(Plantard) was a descendant of Merovingian Kings.
September 17th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
IVE BEEN STABBED IN THE BRAINS AND THEY ARE LEAKING OUT OF MY EYE HOLES.
September 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am
I finished this book earlier today. Honestly? I think the book would have been much improved if it’d turned out the way this review went. The book SUCKED. Big time. The characters are shallow, the mysteries are boring, there’s NO chemistry between Langdon & the female scientist… Seriously, the Da Vinci Code movie was better than this book. Heck, Hank’s hair from the DVC movie was better than this book was. If you were curious about getting it, check it out from the library, wait for paperback or just steal it. It’s not worth spending $17+ on.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
“She’s also the descendant of King Solomon and has a map to the moon tattooed on her back”
Hmm. Rush hour 3?
September 16th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Are you looking for age gap relationships? I found a nice place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. Check it out.
~~~ AgelessFriends.com ~~~
September 16th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
I got kicked it the box. It’s more effective than it sounds.
September 16th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
… uses his secret Masonic powers (polishing, grout work and levitation) to …
Oh my god that was funny.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:40 am
i like http://wealthy-cupid.bravehost.com/ most !! so do my friends!! i think u cant miss it!!
September 16th, 2009 at 5:48 am
and realize in every scene someone was eating a chalupa… ha! you should review all the new books, this was pretty funny
September 16th, 2009 at 5:44 am
you read as much of the book as I do of your articles
September 16th, 2009 at 2:37 am
I wish south africa wasnt so behind the times. I also wanna experience the joy of having you bowls blown out by taco bell.
September 15th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Oh, my, the Discharge did not fail this week. Not that it ever does. Please don’t beat me.
September 15th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
“She’s also the descendant of King Solomon and has a map to the moon tattooed on her back”
It’s an arrow pointing down! HI-YO
September 15th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I didn’t believe this was a real book until i googled it, and now i feel stupid
September 15th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Alright Fuckaccounts, good point, but I hate not being able to stick it to the bots.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
@FingerlessFrank:
Yeah, but in all honesty, she’s pretty cute for an old broad. . . . I mean, she’s not like, say, Bette Davis.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
@IsThisFrank?:
Holy hell, did you hit the nail on the head, or what?????
And yes, The Illuminati Trilogy is possibly THE most criminally OVERLOOKED series of books ever written.
It is, in my humble opinion, the _Confederacy of Dunces_ of the so-called sci-fi/conspiracy sub-genre of literature!
Good stuff!
That said, “ambigrams” ARE really hella fuckin’ cool!
And for one of the more recent ambigrams, check out Clive Barker’s _Abarat_!
September 15th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
You know, I have a signed, first edition of Brown’s _The DaVinci Code_, and will willingly sell it for $1000 to anyone who wants it. Some book dealers are selling it for over $5000, believe it or not!
Check out http://www.abebooks.com !
And NO, this is not a spam message. I just want all to see how much pathetic hype this HACK as gotten over the years.
In full disclosure:
Did I actually read The DaVinci Code: Yes.
Did it keep my interest throughout: Yes. In fact, I couldn’t put the damn book down! I finished it in two days (for me that’s a record–it usually takes me two weeks to finish a novel)
Did it provide me with “food for thought”?: Yes. To a degree. Until I did some research on my own, and discovered that (CONTRARY to the disclaimer in the prologue) the so-called historical “facts” were, in fact, complete bullshit.
Again, full disclosure: I’m a practicing Roman Catholic, and have been for my entire life (I’m almost 39), but although I often question Roman Catholic politics, I personally think that Mr. Brown has a decidedly anti-Catholic (in not, in fact, an anti-CHRISTIAN) bias, and that he simply makes up crap that is not even remotely accurate, and just to sell books.
Just my humble opinion, is all.
Just saying. . . .
September 15th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
@DarkElfa
Yea, because having to complete a captcha is waaaaay less annoying than ignoring half of the comments (which I do anyway). I am on to your reCaptcha scheme.
@CB
Phoned in or not, this was still pretty funny.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
I think “turdstravaganza” is cooler than “dongtacular”.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Whoa…
http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2006/09/08/434933/Animation.2.300×300v3.swf
September 15th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
(∩_∩)(∩_∩)??_B l a c k W h i t e L o v i n gDoTc o m _?? This is the best place for looking for sexy ladies dating relationship or marriage. Now,Join us totally free!(∩_∩)(∩_∩)
September 15th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I think you just wrote the best summer movie for the century.
September 15th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
”Still, Brown’s eye for detail and knowledge of the minutiae of famous historical sites is superb…”
brown eye, huh-uh-huh…
September 15th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
““Who do you think I am, fucking Angela Lansbury?” he screams.”
I wouldn’t assume anybody was fucking Angela Lansbury. Not lately, anyway.
September 15th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Bullshit, we’re not that stupid.
Um, what’s a captcha?
September 15th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
*cough*Phoned-In*ahem
The non-Cracked Zombie link was much better than this.
September 15th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
DarkElfa - the problem is that the majority of cracked readers may have difficulty mastering the tricky nature of the captcha.
September 15th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
please don’t put captchas.
September 15th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I would totally read that book.
But unfortunately, I’m sure this book is as vomit-inducingly awful as the Da Vinci Code.
September 15th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Can’t Cracked do something about these stupid dating site bots leaving their crap every other message in the reply section? Put in a fucking captcha or something.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Man…I need to get me some chalupas.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Great article.
I actually sort of enjoyed The DaVinci Code, and it could’ve been a good pulp/action novel if Damned Brown didn’t have to take himself so fucking serious. Of course you can’t fault him for fueling the hype about his novels being anywhere near historically accurate, but I wish he’d just present his novels for what they are: shallow entertainment with an overload of fucking cliff-hangers (what is this, Dragon Ball Z in novel form?).
Also, I 100% agree with the person who recommend that ALL should read THE ILLUMINATUS! TRILOGY (Robert Anton Wilson & Robert Shea). It’s not just a novel, it’s a complete mindfuck. It just might change the way you look at everything.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:06 am
I’m sorry Mr.Bucholz , but you DID NOT read The Lost Symbol, with your lying ass. Anybody who’s a TRUE Dan Brown fanatic would know that Robert Langdon never dragged the corpse of John Adams behind his power boat. It was during the pulse-pounding moped race against the Fratelli brothers, where the corpse was sporting a helmet and hugging Tom Hanks from behind.
I would also like to point out that that the villain, Mal’akh, was obsessed with chulupas because the Taco Bell symbol resembles the eye of a reptilian. It was foretold by his masonic forefathers that crippling explosive diarrhea was the only way to please the ghost of Hiram Abif. Only a burning asshole full of hot sauce will one-up that albino fag who beats the shit outta himself in the first movie.
Next time get your facts straight, asshole.
(Nah, just fuckin’ with ya. This review was pretty fuckin’ hilarious. Good Job)
September 15th, 2009 at 11:04 am
http://www.cracked.com/funny-557-godfather/ New topic on the Godfather. Check it out.
September 15th, 2009 at 11:03 am
There’s a cut in my jib? Shit! I cant go sailing with my ass hanging out! Trolling, maybe.
Whats the frequency, Kenneth?
Im making the sign right now, and boy howdy, the chicks are going crazy! Say hello to my little sign!
September 15th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Awesome, now I don’t have to read the book at all.
September 15th, 2009 at 10:34 am
TLDNR thats all I have to say
September 15th, 2009 at 9:53 am
yah, chalupas…
September 15th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Wanna find your sexy partner easier and more effective?? Check out: http://ClassyMingle.com —where you can meet the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. What are you waiting for? Find your sexy partner NOW!
You will love it!
September 15th, 2009 at 9:38 am
Six hours to read 86 pages?
September 15th, 2009 at 9:32 am
“two stars”? What the hell is a star? How many dongs is that?
September 15th, 2009 at 8:49 am
I would have preferred if he went to a taco bell and then to a burger king.
September 15th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Dan Brown is the Soulja Boy of historical fiction.
September 15th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Taco Bell *does* sound dongtacular right now.
September 15th, 2009 at 7:37 am
“proof that you don’t need wizards or vampires to make your book a bestseller, so long as you write for a fifth grade audience.”
please, please, please you have to write a letter to the publishing company and put that in there. please!!! omg, you had me laughing so hard all my co workers think I’ve lost it.
September 15th, 2009 at 7:31 am
[...] las películas de sus dos obras anteriores. No se absolutamente nada del material pero la gente de Cracked tiene unos spoilers [...]
September 15th, 2009 at 7:11 am
“proof that you don’t need wizards or vampires to make your book a bestseller, so long as you write for a fifth grade audience.”
That should be on the dust jacket for the book. I’ll admit to really enjoying Deception Point though.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:56 am
I realize that many people despise Brown but just as many (OK, more) will buy this book. He writes popular fiction not literature, so what?? Do you have any idea how many books Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele put out in a year? Men need something easy to read besides James Patterson, ya know!!
Help your favourite authors, go to amazon.com or indigo.ca and write a review so people browsing can benefit from your knowledge.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:50 am
I’m sorry, honestly all I got out of reading this article was a hankering for taco bell
September 15th, 2009 at 6:49 am
FYI, advanced copies are usually paperback and may not even have a pretty picture on the cover. I’ve gotten some that were plain white with the title in black print, no pics at all.
I smell envy.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:43 am
@ Dillinger…
Know who is featured prominently in The Illuminatus Trilogy? John Dillinger! And his dork.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:42 am
This was excellent! The online Freemason community has been concerned that Brown’s latest book would make Masons look like a bunch of old guys who just sit around their old buildings and complain about this new “rock” music that they keep talking about.
We’re so relieved to hear that everybody will now think of us as secretive homicidal fanatics.
I posted some excerpts from this in my blog, and linked back to you. Please ignore those black helicopters patrolling your neighborhood.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Wow, now I want taco bell, I guess I’ll head out and finish the article when I come back :\
September 15th, 2009 at 6:30 am
[...] month – a Dan Brown Free zone. But I really can’t resist posting excerpts from the Cracked book [...]
September 15th, 2009 at 6:16 am
@ Rev JSH Thanks for the tip; I’ve heard they make an excellent read
September 15th, 2009 at 6:05 am
This was pretty meh for me.
September 15th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Any book with such a high chalupa-to-scene ratio is bound to be gold. DISAGREE WITH ME AND YOU LET THE TERRORISTS WIN.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Dan Browns books need one thing…
INDIANA JONES.
Also, they need to not be written by Dan Brown.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:42 am
Hello everyone,
I found a great dating site______MillionaireCupid.org_____
The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs..
what’s the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one.
I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .You should check it out!!!
September 15th, 2009 at 5:37 am
Seriously, fuck Dan Brown and his bullshit.
I think Stephen Fry put it best, describing The Davinci Code as ‘loose stool water, arse gravy of the worst kind.’
September 15th, 2009 at 5:14 am
Hah, brilliant. I take it the caffeine messed with your mind a little, hence the high rating.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:11 am
My friend recommended me a very hot place ___diamondsingle.com___, where you have the opportunity to make friends and chat with rich and cool guys ,hot and sexy girls,supermodels and so on.First i can’t believe and then I signed up there and i’ve got many friends including celebrities there,Finally, I find my perfect match there.It’s exciting. Hope you can find your perfect match.
September 15th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Dan Brown returns with another shameless Robert Anton Wilson rip-off. Do yourself a favor, and read The Illuminatus Trilogy instead. Its like Dan Brown but with more sex, drugs and rock’n'roll. Oh, and it’s about a frajillion times more intelligent and well written.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:51 am
OK, I take it back. Both articles were highly entertaining, but neither had me laughing as hard as some of your past articles.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:47 am
Writing implements need to file a restraining order against Dan Brown.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:38 am
I skimmed the skimming review.
So its about Nicolas Cage, right?
September 15th, 2009 at 4:36 am
I have never read a Dan Brown book and now I never will, good article though!
September 15th, 2009 at 4:30 am
Bucholz and Brockway on the same day? This is a health hazard, I’m afraid I’ll literally rupture my gut laughing.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:27 am
IT’S THE ONLY JIB I GOT, BABY!
September 15th, 2009 at 4:15 am
2 stars, Bucholz? For Dan Brown? You are too generous! Would rather spend all my mealtimes at Taco Bell then have to read this bad excuse for a book.
September 15th, 2009 at 4:06 am
largest sugar daddies and sweet sugar babies gathered dating site…HERE=== LOoK..——-WwW. SuGarSmInGle.cOm.————..where ladies wanna Be Spoiled and guys wanna seek a wonderful chat… Click to access..