4 Types of Husbands and Wives (Or Why Marriage is Evil)
Winston Rowntree is the author of Subnormality, the popular webcomic which he describes as containing "weird characters, endless opinions and occasionally huge walls of text."
In this installment of his weekly Cracked comic Abnormality, Mr. Rowntree gives you eight reasons not to get married, four for each sex...
Check out past updates, in which Winston illustrated The Mineral States of Man and Every Album Ever and The Circle of Life for Jocks and Nerds or weeks before when he showed you How To Win At Panhandling and How NOT to Get Revenge on Your Ex.
Also she was into creepy father figure, which creeped me out
ReplyOMG she was totally me with longer hair and even took some of my tastes in music, games, and women! I became the just 5 more minutes guy after a few years of me realizing this and becoming slightly unattracted to her and we literally broke up the beginning of this year, this blew my f*****g mind..
Reply"You with longer hair" Seems like a pretty nice score, really.
ReplyI (female) am just 5 more minutes, and he's overprotective and clingy, so I guess he's a your mom?
ReplyHe was a "Just Five More Minutes" and I was the "You With Longer Hair." We were both gamers and enjoyed many of the same things, and now I regret ever getting upset with him.
ReplyLol 4th husband type is Peter and Lois
ReplyI (female) dumped an "At least he's tall" for a me with (sometimes) longer hair. Coming up on 12 years now, working on our third baby, never regretted it.
ReplyThe key is to realize what you're actually getting and to realize what you really want. Get them to sync up, and it's awesome.
Hm... 5 thumbs up and 0 thumbs down...
= 4?
My husband is me with longer hair. :)
ReplyWhere's the "Retreats to video games because wife is a frigid shrew?" Protip for the ladies: Don't marry a guy that you aren't physically attracted to, it doesn't end well for anyone. So glad I got out of that.
ReplyNo relationship will ever last unless there is mutual physical attracton, period.
When I was married I turned into the Just Five More Minutes because video games were genuinely more fun than sex with my wife (a "your mom"), so inept was she at the act in spite of all attempts at communication. I got out because I'm not the cheating type. Probably could've made it work if I were amenable to affairs.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThat is unfortunate. I know of a "your mom" that takes it in every hole you can stick it in, and will do basically anything you ask her to.
Where does she live?
In Bottomsupyours's imagination.
My husband and I totally look like the you with longer hair couple, except I never wear my glasses. I really should though.
ReplyI've got a mixture of "at least he's tall" and "five more minutes"...
ReplyThe At Least He's Tall is like all of my relationships... :P
ReplyI.. think this is a funny joke..
ReplyI'm with you on that. From the other comments, it seems like you've either experienced this and are laughing from surprise it's happened to other people, or you're left scratching your head.
The title of this article should end with (As seen on TV, because in real life marriage is awesome).
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou're wife was reading over your shoulder, wasn't she?
My husband and I don't quite fit into any of these...
the f**k planet you living on?
Look at all the comments from women who think they're a him with longer hair.
Reply99% of them are land monsters. I know I am.
holy s**t, I lol'd thank you madam
Hilarious, the tiny "sex with your mother" line killed me (not literally of course, that would be terrible)
ReplyAlso it would imply your a zombie.... *runs back in with shotgun*
What if you're a long haired guy?
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replieseven longer hair
Then the wife's a you with shorter hair.
Welp. Guess I'm doomed then *flicks his hippy hair*
Then you're probably not married. Hippie.
Without marriage you have the freedom to do what you want, when you want. No one else to consider. No one who nags at you. Just freedom and sweet sweet silence.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesHow else is a family supposed to form?
To blobman... I have a family with no marriage & it rocks. Marriage is like the cage door slamming to me. I live with my best friend (and no, it's not a sexless existance) & we have a kickass kid. The best part... NO MARRIAGE. Don't confuse paper or ceremonies with love.
Blobman: I'm sorry, what? Last time I checked, people could f**k whether they were married or not. If no one told you, that's how you traditionally get babies.
vanillacoke420: I'm ashamed you and I share a love of the same soda.
To each their own, but from my personal experience with marriage, I would be a less happy person without it. Not because I need to be married either, just because I like the idea of growing old with the person I am currently fucking. Also, I think silence is boring, and noise canceling headphones work wonders when you need a break.
SILENCE WILL FALL.
Ilove how is that different from marriage?
I'm the mom but at least he's tall.
ReplyYou... you have sex with your son?! YOU MONSTER!!
:D