This sport was a demonstration sport in 1992 and needs to be brought back, just for the sheer ball-rattling craziness of it. Speed skiing is the second fastest non-motorized sport in the world with a world record of 156 miles an hour. The only sport where people go faster without an engine is skydiving. Yes, to go faster than these guys go on skis, you have to throw yourself out of a fucking plane.
The rules are simple, don't die and go as fast as you can, in that order, as dying is an automatic disqualification. It seems going downhill on two-10 inch wide planks twice as fast as most people will ever drive isn't insane enough because the skiers are constantly trying to find ways to gain more speed. Innovations in the sport include a shell to cover your fat ass to reduce drag and a parachute to help slow you down (or to wrap up your bloody, pulpy body after you crash).
If you want to get a sense of the sheer speeds involved here, check out the video of this skier biting it Six Million Dollar Man style.
Yeah, he appears to still be going over 100 MPH even after he's skidding along the ice on his face. When you crash at those speeds, you're actually going so fast that the friction of your suit against the snow actually causes it to melt and burn you.
That's right, because it isn't enough that you might die from fright or being thrown like a rag doll, you also have to worry about burning large areas of your body on fucking snow.
3LeCanne (Canne De Combat)
LeCanne appeared in the 1924 Olympics, but was never brought back, presumably because watching two guys bash each other with sticks while jumping around like fucking Neo from the Matrix caused spectators back then to crap their bloomers and/or drop their monacles.
The sport was developed back in the old timey days when men still carried canes, even if they had two perfectly good legs. It was like having a wallet chain, except that it didn't make you look like a douche. Eventually someone figured out the cane could also be used to smack the shit out of muggers. Soon a new martial art was born and became awesome, despite being French.
Today it's known as Canne De Combat and points are scored by smashing your opponent upside the head, torso or calf. Nut shots are not allowed unless your opponent is actually trying to take your wallet. Competitors wear padding similar to fencers and the cane itself is made out of light weight wood so the fighters can't knock each other out (apparently that used to be a real problem).
Unlike fencing, where the competitors are restricted to stepping back and forth on a narrow mat, Canne fighters run around the ring like the freaking Tasmanian Devil. And while it already looks like a fucking ninja video game, there are some events that up the ante by equipping each fighter with two canes. By next year we expect them to add a cage to the ring and glue broken glass to the canes.