5 Superpowers From the Bible That Put Marvel and DC to Shame

Caspian and Rignerd:
Yey, someone actually knows the history of the Bible, and a pretty accurate one at that. It is theorized that historically, King David after uniting the 12 tribes of Israel was the one who commissioned scribes to write the stories pertaining to Jewish faith. On the other hand, it was more difficult to include many New Testament books especially the Gospels as canon since many books; some of which were referenced by Dan Brown, do not have any significance whatsoever with the Christian faith. Apart from this the reason the 4 gospels were chosen was because of the fact that of the many "gospels" written, these were the ones written closest to the timeline of Jesus, The Gospel of Mark being the earliest, probably was written by an actual witness to Jesus, as early as 70AD and John being the last was at least 100++AD almost 200AD i think. Lastly, the reason the Gospels were attributed to certain apostles was to give credibility to the writings. On a side note, please do not readily believe many rumors abounding about the Church hiding books since they deem it "forbidden". Many of these were actually written long after the time of Jesus, and have many far-fetched stories or accounts which have been considered as insignificant by the Church.

This leaves out the four superpowers that Jesus had after rising from the tomb. These being, of course: Subtlety, Agility, Impassibility, and Clarity. Yep, these are all supernatural, in the Jesus context. (Google 'em.) The only reason they might be worth knowing is that James Joyce references them in "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man."

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lol aquaman is useless.

Yeah, but you'd still have an army of people to do your bidding. And even if they didn't obey your commands, you'd still be able to...you know...RAISE THE DEAD!!! That on its own is cool enough, without them being your servants. God rules.

Well, with the zombies it did say that they had flesh and skin, and were even breathing. I doubt anyone would have really known they were zombies. Unless of course they came across their great (dead) aunt lumbering down the street. That might freak anyone out a tad.

Funny you should mention Ol' Greenskin with Samson. There's actually a Marvel hero named Doc Samson with powers of the biblical Samson(if he had green hair) who acts as a psychiatrist(don't know if I spelled that correctly) for the Hulk.

I love the bears and the dirty laundry :) Nice way of putting it

I have viewed many hot videos and photos about interracial dating at a club---------- ++++++ u k i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m +++++++ --------- where many fans and stars can chat together. And there are many black and white singles who are seeking for ideal match seriously...

Re: Danky420 I read all 10 volumes of L. Ron Hubbards battelfield earth series, he was lucky to get out of hig school much less do anything worth noting besides tricking people into reading his drivel. As to the accuracy of the Bible, the dead sea scrolls were lost about 400 years BC, and when compared to a modern bible there are about 14 words that are different, and only 7 of those would give a different meaning to to verse. The jewish scribes who copied the texts were under penalty of death for making changes, even accidental ones.

Im pretty sure summoning bears is the most badass power... ever. And what makes it even better is bears are dicks. If you ever summoned one, after it completed its ass-kicking task, it might steal candy from an unsuspecting baby or small child perhaps... and then rip it to shreds

danky420:

Modern bibles aren't translated from old bibles. There are numerous old scrolls and texts that have been found. By using multiple sources and identifying the differences, scholars are able to tell which sources are the original. Additionally, the different Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) were written at different times by people so they can be fact checked against each other. Thus, our translations of the New Testament are relatively accurate. As for the Old Testament, only Jews re-copied it for several thousand years. They spent years of their life writing it down word for word. When they were finished, someone checked it over for them. If there was so much as a punctuation mark missing, the ENTIRE set of scrolls was tossed into a fire, meaning another 3 years or so of work for the guy who was doing the copying.

if i had the power to summon bears,my brother and sister would stop bugging me.

The Bible WAS a pretty cool cartoon show. Hanna-Barbera's Heroes of the Bible was one of the only American kids' cartoons in which you ever got to see some blood when people got killed. I think it would make an even cooler anime, though.

Considering how many hands the bible changed, how much of it is still true? These fantasy's seem nothing more then a bunch of fantasy. L. Ron Could have done just as good a job. Before the bible was translated from latin, it was changed by popes, monks, printers, and so on.

If only I could summon bears...

I'd say Samson's weakness was vagina rather than boobs. What good are boobs without vagina? Then you just got something no better than man-titties, really.

This string of comments is more amusing than the article. But I swear, those bots are going to revolt if you keep defying their word. Cracked.com will crack under the luscious lipids of the Plusmeet spammers, and cease to release content not pertinent to meeting big sexy singles in your area.

The Bible would make a really cool cartoon show.

MacHaggis, by the time Mohammed lived, the concept of "pre-teen" or "teenage girls" didn't exist anywhere in the world. Not Middle East, not Far East, not Europe. There were children and there were women, nothing inbetween. So I guess that Mohammed was as evil as everyone else around.