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9 Superhero Powers That Would Be More Trouble Than They're Worth
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Sure, who hasn't wished for superpowers? Super-speed, super-flight, super-strength-these are the cool powers, the ones with which all comic book superheroes seem to do so well for themselves. But there are a few lesser-known powers found in the funny pages that nobody wants to be saddled with. Any practical use they have would be countered by the sheer embarrassment and/or inconvenience of having them. #9.
Then again, like most people, you're probably sort of a prick. Do you really want to know what other people think of you? Sometimes the only way you can get through the day dealing with other people is being able to convince yourself they're not five seconds from gut-punching your dumb ass. Telepathy means you'll never have that comforting illusion ever again. Try hearing, "He really put on some weight," "Nice hair, douchebag, did Supercuts have a coupon day?" and "Has this guy ever heard of deodorant?" before breakfast, and the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" will start making a lot of sense all of a sudden. #8.
Super-intelligence
Remember how much everyone hated that kid? Okay, now add "super-intelligence" to your list of powers, where suddenly you can argue foreign policy with Nobel Laureates while doing long division in your head and scribbling a cure for leukemia on a notepad. You're gonna turn into an insufferable jerk faster than you can say, "Well, I suppose that's a simplified way of looking at it." Lex Luthor may be a genius, but nobody's inviting his smug ass to their house parties. |
"Oh, come on," you're probably thinking. "What's wrong with telepathy?" And sure, it sounds like it'd be a useful power. You can keep tabs on what that back-stabbing co-worker of yours is up to, instantly know what your boss thinks about you and actually figure out what your girlfriend means when you ask "What's wrong?" and you get one of those meaning-laden "Oh... nothing..." replies. 
Life is rough for smart kids in school. There's nothing super-heroic about getting your underwear yanked up your ass by meatheads because you can read without moving your lips. Having said that, in any high school, there's always that one smug, self-satisfied smart kid who likes rubbing their big brain in the other kids' faces. 
48 Comments
I wonder how long it took for Superman to get his super-breath under control. I can just imagine a super-baby crying and blowing the roof off his house in the process!
aqua man has super human strength everybody looks at him unjustly maybe he shoud break more buildings
What about being able to pass through solid objects? Kitty and DJ are two good examples of why that power would kick ass.
If you REALLY had super-intelligence, you should be smart enough not to rub it into everyone's faces.
If you could have *voluntary* telepathy it'd still be pretty damn awesome. If it just went non-stop, you'd prolly go insane. That's another drawback.
http://bux.to/?r=Requin
what a bunch of losers
All the same telepathy would be pretty cool, cause even if u couldn't MAKE someone give u a wad of cash, you could read the bank teller's mind and figure out a way to get this wad of cash pretty simple. But it seems more like a supervilan power, 'cause i see a huge opening to be emperor of the universe from that angle.
Joolz makes a good point. If a site does not match your taste, you have the choice to ignore it. Also, if you insist on being a smart-ass, you had better be damn sure of what you're talking about. People who are loyal to a site have a tendency of tearing into arrogant malcontents.
tommee, only retards who havent heard of limewire use itunes. or anything you have to pay for. and yeh lord drayakir u r the biggest simpleton (really who the hell uses that as an insult?) in here for you dont even understand what your talking about.
Wow "Lord" Drayakir, it must be hard being such an arrogant prat and not having a clue what you're on about at the same time. Like it's been said, telepathy and mind control are different things. Telepathy is just being able to hear thoughts not affect them. And also, it's a freaking humour site jackass. Sorry to break it to you but I doubt the writers are sitting up late at night worrying about whether their humour fits your comedic needs.
telepathy is the ability to read minds. telekinesis is the ability to move things around with your mind.
Captain_Edgewalker
And you can't tell the difference between telepathy and Telekinesis.
tommee
magnetism is still cool. aquaman was the # 1 most downloaded series in i-tunes and he is cool. so fuck off!!!
In passing
Someone here can't tell the difference between telepathy and mind control.
SpookyMulder
Lord Drayakir: if you think the site is stupid, then why do you keep reading it? Fuck off.
Lord Drayakir
Simpletons. Honestly, the more I read this site, the more it sucks. Telepathy? You can fucking control people with it! What the fuck is wrong with you? That's fucking awesome! You want Jessica Alba? BAM! You implant a thought in her stupid head that she wants you. You want a wad of cash? Walk to a bank, BAM! The cashier gives you a wad of cash.
Aves
I still want Telepathy
The Luth
No one invits Luthor because he's the only one with a house.
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jaybee83
Gary, the reason Aquaman blows is because he's a Sub-Mariner ripoff, but for some reason they took away invulnerability and flight when they took the idea (normally when you plagiarize a hero, you try to keep him at least as useful as the guy you stole).