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The 11 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever

By Adam Brown
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With all of the negative press surrounding hip-hop music, rappers often complain about the media taking their lyrics out of context, to make them seem more violent or misogynistic than they really are.

As a journalistic institution built on a foundation of honesty and integrity, we would never stoop to such lows. But take those lyrics out of context to make them sound gay? We're on it.

Eminem: "Don't Push Me"

The Lyric:
"Man I'm done saying that I'm done playing, Im'ma a start laying any of these motherfucking cocksuckers."

What He's Probably Saying:

"No joke, my patience is exhausted and now I'm gonna start shooting people."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Seriously, I'm gonna start having sex with dudes."

50 Cent: "Gun Runners"

The Lyric:
Man on phone: "I got beef, I wanna see what you got, and if I like it I'll cop".

50 Cent: "Damn nigga, you hot!"

What He's Probably Saying:

Man on phone: "I have a conflict, I'd like to see your guns, if I like them I'll buy."

50 Cent: "Damn man you got problems!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

Man on phone: "I'm well-endowed, I'd like to see if you are also, if you are we'll engage in sex."

50 Cent: "Damn, man. You're sexy!"

Ice-T: "I Love Ladies"

The Lyric:
"But don't get me wrong, most fellas do rock."

What He's Probably Saying:

"Dudes are cool, but when it comes to sex, I love ladies."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Don't get me wrong, I will bang a guy, too."

Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: "Coming of Age"

The Lyric:
Jay-Z: "Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'"

MB: "Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man nigga, now stop frontin'."

Jay-Z: "Ha ha! I like your style!"

MB: "Nah, I like YO style!"

Jay-Z: "Let's drive around awhile".

MB: "Cool, nigga."

Jay-Z: "Here's a thou!"

What He's Probably Saying:

"I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!"

Nas: "One Love"

The Lyric:
"But I heard you blew a nigga with a ox for the phone piece."

What He's Probably Saying:

"Hey, I heard you stabbed somebody because they wouldn't let you talk on the phone."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Hey, I heard you gave a dude with a pet ox a blow job so he'd let you use the phone."

Black Moon: "Ack Like U Want It"

The Lyric:
"I get paid to rip, step aside, Im'ma blow you."

What He's Probably Saying:

"I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Relax, I do this for a living, move a little to the left so I can give you oral sex."

DJ Quik: "Dollaz + Sense"

The Lyric:
"Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo', but you gone be the first, you little trick-ass ho."

What He's Probably Saying:

"I'm so much of a badass, you're basically a woman in my presence, so I'm gonna make you blow me."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"I've never done this before, you know, let a guy put my junk in his mouth. This is my first time. You little trick-ass ho."

Black Rob: "Whoa!"

The Lyric:
"Plus I'm gettin' brain from this chick like whoa! Finger near a nigga asshole like whoa!"

What He's Probably Saying:

"So this chick was blowing me right, next thing I know she starts putting her finger near my ass and I'm all like WHOA!!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"So I'm in this room with a guy and his girlfriend, right? One thing leads to another, next thing I know, the chick is blowing me, I'm about to put my finger in dude's ass, and I'm like ... whoa! This is awesome!"

50 Cent, Part 2: "Piggy Bank"

The Lyric:
"Yayo, bring the condoms, I'm in room 203."

What He's Probably Saying:

"Dude, bring me some condoms, I'm gonna nail this chick, I'm in room 203."

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Dude, fuck it, let's have sex, bring condoms, I'm in room 203."

2Pac: "If My Homie Calls"

The Lyric:
"Ever since you was a pee-wee, down by my knee with a wee-wee."

What He's Probably Saying:

"I've known you since you were knee-high to a cricket!"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"Ever since we were young, we've engaged in fellatio."

50 Cent, Part 3: "Ryder Music"

The Lyric:
"I read somewhere I'm homophobic, shiiiiit. Go through the hood, there's mad niggas on my dick."

What He's Probably Saying:

"People call me homophobic, but it's not true. In fact, when I go back to my old neighborhood, all kinds of dudes are on my dick. Ha ha! See what I did there? On my dick. Homophobic. Get it?"

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

"I'm not homophobic, in fact, I still have sex with several guys from my old neighborhood."

Read more from Adam at ScenicAnemia.com like, whoa!

If you enjoyed that, check out our rundown of The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time. Also, be sure to find out about Nelson Mandella's strange taste in music. Or find out the secret that most rappers know about the approximate amount of love you should show a ho in order to take her home from the bar.


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224 Comments

eminem doesnt even say that in the song.... he says "i'm a start laying into these mothafucking cocksuckers" although this list is fucking hilarious....atleast be accurate

Posted on 5/10/2008 1:05:22 PM

How about Snoop Dogg's Who Am I? (What's my Name?)- "And I never hesitate to put a nigger on his back"

Posted on 5/10/2008 10:45:40 AM

I saw the last guy in http://www.bigblackconnect.com/ He was very humous and so hot in this club.

Posted on 5/5/2008 7:13:55 AM

NERD - Lap Dance: I dare a motherfucjer to come in my face. GHostface Killah/Jadakiss - Run: Jada - I might have to take my shirt off for this one Ghost: Yeah go in, go in.

Posted on 5/3/2008 7:15:31 PM

erm....having re-read the posts...I cant remember my witty statement...BBL

Posted on 4/30/2008 12:55:17 PM

Isn't there a joke in a movie where someone says 'blow you' when they meant to say 'blow you away'? When did the hip street gangsta people lose the 'away'? Did no-one mention to them the potentially embarrassing misunderstandings that could cause?

Posted on 4/29/2008 9:57:14 PM

I like big manful players, just liek the big guys I met in hot big people dating club __ PlusMeet.com __

Posted on 4/29/2008 8:08:44 AM

Gay sex: surprisingly overrated. Not that I know from experience...

Posted on 4/27/2008 1:48:29 AM

"I get paid to be awesome, now get out of my way before I shoot you." if you ever find the need to use this line, and a "please, sir." it works wonders.

Posted on 4/26/2008 12:35:56 AM

HAHA damn that cannibus shit was truly homo

Posted on 4/25/2008 10:23:45 PM

LOL chongsmoke, I just had to look that one up, and you're right. I wonder if they found that one and said, "Nah... Canibus is OBVIOUSLY gay."

Posted on 4/25/2008 11:29:23 AM

black moon is good shit. But you guys missed the absolute worst one ever. Just listen to the song SecondRound KO by Canibus and I'm sure you will hear it. He is such an amazing lyricist it is hard to imagine how he let this fly. The song is talking shit on LL Tool J, so it's worth a listen for that. I wont spoil it for you but it would be my number one pick.

Posted on 4/25/2008 10:12:42 AM

weezy f's baby - kiss me baby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVWyjhOuvTo

Posted on 4/25/2008 6:06:17 AM

And maybe joyce20086, you're a SPAMBOT!!! At least you're made of METAL!!!!!!!!!

Posted on 4/25/2008 6:05:08 AM

Recently, quite a few celebrities and pro athletes were said to appear on the millionaire luxury club "Wealthy Kiss.c o m" to hook up with hot girs and models. OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of internet dating for now?? Maybe they are indeed so rich that they feel boring sometimes to need new things?

Posted on 4/25/2008 5:16:48 AM

I'm gonna do it even though I don't generally like people correcting the writer-- Ice-T had a song called, I believe, 99 Problems (Yes, Jay-Z totally ripped it off) with the ultra gay line, "I got a bitch who's a man, 'cuz they bitches, too"

Posted on 4/24/2008 2:15:05 PM

People still say "bunghole?"

Posted on 4/24/2008 2:06:58 PM

Wildefire, I agreee with you. Thank you, Francine.

Posted on 4/24/2008 1:14:09 PM

Francine ROCKED these comments, folks. =)

Posted on 4/24/2008 12:56:37 PM

Okay, so I definately had to create an account just to comment on this. I normally enjoy reading the articles on this site, it was a little dry this time, but the comments afterwards brought a tear to my eye. Literally...I was crying cause it was so hilarious, also francines' inability to form words made me want to shoot myself in the foot. Can you answer me this...how do you get dressed in the morning? Seriously. I've often wondered how some people manage not to put their clothes on backwards. also VanillaGuerilla Love the play on words :D . Oh btw - people who are actually 'retarded' are generally very nice so I seriously doubt that whoever this Francine is, is truely one of their numbers...

Posted on 4/24/2008 10:22:06 AM

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