The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time

A good rap name is like good rap: it sounds effortless without coming off sloppy, and it never tries too hard. Whether its vibe is biblical (Hova), comic book villain (Biggie Smalls) or comic book hero (Method Man); whether the name is self-imposed (Big Baby Jesus) or God-given (Kanye West and Tupac Shakur didn't really have a choice, now did they?) you know when you've heard a good rap name. And just as certainly, you know when you've heard a bad one. We count down the 25 worst.

Lil' Scrappy

Unless you're a puppy who can somehow rap, this name does not work. Even if you're literally both little and scrappy, there are better ways to express it. Lil' Scrappy is really just a step away from Mr. Woofles.

69 Boyz

The geniuses behind the song "Tootsee Roll" supposedly named themselves after the fact that they were all born in 1969, but the sexual connotations aren't lost on anyone. Now, it's strange enough for a group of guys to define themselves by their mutual love of the 69 position. But throw in the hilarious possibility of a concert opening with the boast, "Yo, we 69 Boys, ya'll," and you've got yourself a pretty questionable name. (Also, if you have the time and the stomach for a trip down memory lane, check out the above video, in which the already questionably named 69 Boyz perform stripper dance moves on a stage full of men in matching outfits. It's fantastic.)

Chamillionaire

Is he a millionaire who blends in with the rest of us? Or is he a millionaire that blends in with other millionaires because being rich is just so natural to him? Or perhaps he has a million chameleons? Or maybe he is a million chameleons who have joined together, combining their camouflage skills to appear as a rapper in order to take advantage of today's enormous market for bad hip-hop. Or perhaps he's only a tea millionaire with an enormous collection of fragrant, healing Chamomile teas. Either way, he's an idiot.

Bubba Sparxxx

First, he named himself after what we can only assume was his frat nickname at whatever Southern junior college he attended. Then, he threw in the triple X to give it just the right porn-site-where-you-can-go-to-watch-fat-people-have-sex vibe.

Birdman

The above image of the badass cartoon character he named himself after really says it all.

94 Comments

Tripidy

Haters are gonna hate right.

Posted on 5/15/2008 3:02:44 PM

Hyphy

Messy marvs name means as follows Messy = in the bay area we call getting drunk or high or just fucked up in general, gettin messy as in, "Dawg i was messy off the drank last night"

Posted on 5/13/2008 4:25:08 AM

mentalpause

...my brother listens to Cunninlynguists, and they're pretty good too n.n

Posted on 5/1/2008 12:52:50 AM

Dude, Del is awesome. And I actually think that Cunninlynguists is clever :o

Posted on 5/1/2008 12:52:25 AM

K.G.MadMan

Del is the shit, fuck off.

Posted on 4/27/2008 10:48:52 PM

Disaffected

I GOT HERPES FROM WEALTHYKISS.COM!

Posted on 4/27/2008 12:28:21 PM

anvon20086

wealthykiss dotcom

Posted on 4/27/2008 6:10:23 AM

the.melsa

i thought you had made up #1 until i googled his ass, and there was the soul crushing evidence in front of me. that guy's got problems if he actually thought that the word "shitstain" was a good idea to add on to anything.

Posted on 4/25/2008 4:06:14 PM

SanitizingKing

YAAAR the scallywag who writ this be a white whale me thinks...whitest of all

Posted on 4/25/2008 12:33:49 PM

joyce20086

Recently, quite a few celebrities and pro athletes were said to appear on the millionaire luxury club "Wealthy Kiss.c o m" to hook up with hot girs and models. OMG!!! Are these famous guys fond of internet dating for now?? Maybe they are indeed so rich that they feel boring sometimes to need new things?

Posted on 4/25/2008 5:19:50 AM

Dwarf_Woot

Oh man. Who purposely goes by shitstain?

Posted on 4/22/2008 7:26:30 PM

Kondoor88

Just to make sure...Del may have a ridiculous name, but he's a great and original rapper. I think Rhymefest is good too.

Posted on 4/22/2008 6:09:41 PM

held094

that was a lame joke

Posted on 4/22/2008 3:13:50 PM

jagenigma

What about 50 CENT? I think he's a few cents short of a dollar LOL!!!

Posted on 4/22/2008 1:54:06 PM

jordan10la

Hahaha that "B low" part was hilarious

Posted on 4/22/2008 6:02:26 AM

smokey

I can think of plenty of more worse rapper names than the ones you have here. Flo Rida for starters, who gets his name from his native state. Crunchy Black, maybe his dick is that way. I have another, Guerilla Black, is he a militant soldier or is he just making fun of his own people because many refer to black people as gorillas. And of course a bunch of Lil people that think they can rap. Fed X, possibly he delivers boxes full of rhymes, but his highly unlikely with a name like that.

Posted on 4/21/2008 7:02:56 PM

johnvince

Come on, having a cool name replaces having to have any talent. Then make wise investments like diamond encrusted fake teeth and Bentleys after your 1 hit...i love rappers!

Posted on 4/20/2008 4:02:03 PM