The Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

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Take a man. Add eye work (unisex glasses if eye wear is needed) and Botox. Mix in a bad haircut or unfashionably long hair -- a dye job, if possible. A little doughiness doesn't hurt, either. Have a weakness for turtlenecks, and by all means, fight aging like it's a battle you can win if you try just a little harder. And there you have it: the winning formula to become a man who looks like an old lesbian.

We asked Keith Mays, author of the blog that started a phenomenon and pioneer in the field of men who look like old lesbians, to run down the 25 best examples of this confounding phenomenon, and he happily obliged, including a handful of newly discovered men who look like old lesbians.

Chuck Klosterman

He Is:

A Pop-culture obsessed and farm-raised hipster who writes for GQ and ESPN.

Looks Like:

Someone who has penned 14 books on the spiritual nature of the vulva.

Al Franken

He Is:

Writer. Possible candidate. Rush Limbaugh tormentor.

Looks Like:

The art director of Lands' End catalog.

Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora

They Are:

Founding members of Bon Jovi.

They Look Like:

They found a career resurgence as Le Tigre.

Robert Redford

He Is:

Actor. Director.

Looks Like:

The head of Women's Studies at the Community College of Denver.

Don Imus

He Is:

The disc jockey and humorist whose comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team in 2007 led to the name "Imus" being mentioned on a college campus for the first time in 35 years.

Looks Like:

Someone who has lived with the same woman of color she met while working at San Mateo Y in 1962.

Warren Beatty

He Is:

Actor. Director. Former BFF of Carly Simon.

Looks Like:

The famed foe of Bobby Riggs.

Roger Ebert

He Is:

Pulitzer-Prize-winning columnist and film critic. Screenwriter whose films include Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls.

Looks Like:

A late-1950s feminist who currently designs non-gender-specific lingerie and underwear.

Kyle MacLachlan

He Is:

Actor known for his work with David Lynch and Elizabeth Berkley.

Looks Like:

A manager of a website about two pet dogs.

Masi Oka

He is:

Actor. Time Magazine whiz kid. Reported IQ of 180 (same as cast of Carpoolers).

Looks Like:

An author of a paper stating that sex with a man is, by definition, a hate crime.

Mo Rocca

He Is:

We're not really sure what he actually does.

Looks Like:

A time-traveling lesbian from the future.

John Denver

He Was:

Singer. Country boy. Aviator.

Looks Like:

The founder of Colorado's first Lesbian Games, a non-competitive Olympics guaranteeing "participation trophies" for all entrants.

Peter Criss

He Is:

Musician. Drummer in bottom-feeding glam rock group.

Looks Like:

A collector of cat memorabilia.

Lance Burton

He Is:

Creepy Las Vegas magician.

Looks Like:

A K.D. Lang stand-in.

Gary LeVox

He Is:

Lead singer of Rascal Flatts.

Looks Like:

Stage security at the Lilith Fair.

Richard Butler

He Is:

The Molly-Ringwald-serenading lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs.

Looks Like:

The co-founder of an online erotic products store exclusively for lesbians, "Toys for Twats."

Dana Carvey

He Is:

Comic. Actor. Drummer. Impersonator of the President Bush with more successful foreign policy. In 1990s, he partnered with fellow SNL alum and man who looks like an old (or middle-aged) lesbian, Mike Myers, in a series of successful films about life in the suburbs.

Looks Like:

The runner of a rescue service for emotionally abused cats.

Rick James

He Was:

Musician. Famously sampled funk legend. Freak with supposed super abilities. Fan of hair extensions. Troubled individual.

Looks Like:

A person who reportedly married a lesbian comic who goes by the single name "Margaret."

Simon Le Bon and Other Members of Duran Duran

They Are:

Musicians. Video stars. Inventors of the 1980s. Minstrels for Princess Diana.

They Look Like:

Financiers of such lesbian-themed films as The Secret That is My Garden and Rocky V.

Tim Robbins

He Is:

Actor. Writer. Tall person. Compulsive do-gooder in a less-crazy-than-Sean-Penn way.

Looks Like:

Winner of 12 straight division wins as coach of Florida Gators women's volleyball team in the late 1970s and early 80s.

Mike Nichols

He Is:

Writer. Director. Comic. Longtime partner to morning news show anchor Diane Sawyer. Directed Angels in America and Catch-22.

Looks Like:

Director of four episodes of The L Word.

Morten Anderson

He Is:

Football player. Ageless place kicker.

Looks Like:

A guard in a women's prison.

Mike Myers

He Is:

Comic actor. Writer. Scatologically minded, sequel-happy entertainer known for both Scottish and English accents who, in past films, has pointed out shortcomings in the UK's dental hygiene.

Looks Like:

An activist promoting the causes of transgender animated characters and company logos.

Ricky Gervais

He Is:

Comic. Writer. Actor. Creator of the hugely popular The Office and the somewhat less popular Extras.

Looks Like:

Someone who moved to the Aleutian Islands with her social worker partner and is studying to be a priest in the Anglican Church.

Kim Jong-il

He Is:

Leader of North Korea.

Looks Like:

A Lea-DeLaria-impersonating soccer mom.

Bruce Jenner

He Is:

An old lesbian.

Looks Like:

An old lesbian.

In some cases, it has to be just the right photo ...

... In other cases, it is, I admit, a little unfair ... the result of an unfortunate hairstyle or fashion of a certain era ...

... other times, it may be that it's a conscious effort by the person to look androgynous or just plain weird ...

... or it could even be a role the person is playing that I'm unaware of ...

... then there's Bruce Jenner. In photo after photo, pose after pose ...

... with family ... in a role ... giving a speech ... dressed for a night out at My Sister's Room in Atlanta ... he never fails to deliver ...

Bruce Jenner. A man who truly looks like an old lesbian.

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