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These are weirdest, most ill-conceived toys from around the globe. If you're about to say that they're "weird" only because of our own xenophobic ignorance of other cultures, well, we have two words for you: Poop toys. You'll see. Surprisingly, not all of these are from Japan.
#25.
#24.
Not that it really makes it any better.
#23.
Playmobil makes little figurines in the shape of hundreds of different professions, but only the Hazmat disposal crew provides children with the stark reminder that mankind's excesses will eventually doom us all.
#22.
"You see, girls, your father was in the air force. He was an F-15."
#21.
Why you'd ever feel the need to conceal a USB stick in a doll wearing a bondage mask is beyond us, although it's probably a small blessing that it's not withdrawn via the gimp's ass.
#20.
Teaching a 3 year old how to clean and prepare a fish used to be a difficult and messy task. No longer!
#19.
The thing flying out of the toilet appears to be a plastic piece of poop, molded in the traditionally popular swirl-cone shape. Projectile excrement is a popular prank in Japan, and the workplace injuries that result are a major drain on the economy.
#18.
Shimajiro is the toilet training tiger that swept all over the Web in a video a little while back. When either of the two buttons are pressed, he exclaims a short burst of pro-toilet-training rhetoric. "Crap! Crap like a champion!" and "RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!" seem the likeliest options.
#17.
What on earth is going on with the right side of this toy? Is that a horse coming out from behind the shield? Is this toy some kind of centaur, or is that shield concealing an unnatural sexual act? There are a lot of questions here, and none of the potential answers is very savory.
#16.
On the left is a mysterious toy. On the right, a graphical representation of a virus. And, on the bottom is a picture of what can only be a child catching herpes.
#15.
We're told this is some sort of child's sled, and that thing sticking out of it is a handle, upon which the child can hang on while enjoying an exciting winter adventure. Why? What did you think it was?
#14.
The closest we can figure is that they're selling a life-sized plush camel, but to make more money they're selling it one body part at a time. This is the head.
#13.
What better way to market your putter with a golden penis on the tip than with three cute cartoon animals? Just imagine Jack Nicholson coming at you, swinging one of these. Hell, now that we've written it, we're having a hard time thinking about anything else. |
I remember hearing about those stripper poles being sold from a main supermarket(Tesco or ASDA), who then said it was NEXT to the children's toys but was not being advertised to them especially. Shite like that is fucked up. I work in a clothes shop, and sometimes i see clothes that are aimed at children and it is disconcerting. (more so when i see parents (women) going oh ain't this (pedophile-attracting whore-costume) cute. As for the rest, japan is weird, i wanna go their sometime. See more of what their culture is like.
we sell that stripper pole at the porn shop i work at, but i had no idea it was ever marketed toward children...i feel so dirty
i had cock bloc super when i was a kid. it led to nothing but frustration.
The #5 figures are actually a hell of a lot weirder than any joke the article could make. It's a comic, cartoon and film franchise called "Gegege No Kitarou", about a "goblin boy" born from his mother's corpse who battles creatures from traditional Japanese folklore. That eyeball guy? That's the eye of his dead father, who rides around in the empty socket usually concealed by Kitarou's "emo" hair. The giant slab guy is Nurikabe, one of the mythological beings. In folklore, they're invisible wall ghosts that make us take wrong turns when we travel. The turd-shaped guy is "Rat man", who farts on his enemies. ...And the old lady is Sunakake baba, also from real japanese mythology; a ghost that does nothing but materialize, throw sand in your eyes, laugh and disappear. Bitch.
mommy!mommy! i want my very own stripper pole!! jesus, what is wrong with these people?!
That wired thing on the knight is his flowing white cape.. :(
#8 is nice I would so get one
21 is nice,, i want one.. ;p
24 is so weird... ;p
nice article
Women are not, are fairly portrayed in the media
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We probably would've been better off not knowing.
They probably won't get a movie any time soon.
Our monsters are kind of lame, comparatively.
After all, it's impolite not to answer email.
Gamers are a vengeful god.
We built this world on penis insecurity.
Some of these, they should have kept.
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