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The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

By Chris Bucholz November 13, 2007 1,657,207 views
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These are weirdest, most ill-conceived toys from around the globe. If you're about to say that they're "weird" only because of our own xenophobic ignorance of other cultures, well, we have two words for you: Poop toys.

You'll see.

Surprisingly, not all of these are from Japan.

#25.

This one is, though. We're used to Japan's superior electronics companies ensuring they get new televisions, video games and cell phones before the rest of us, but who knew they'd get the second coming of our Savior a full three years before the rest of the world. You have to love the fact that they've decided to use the box to point out ways your Jesus Robot can help you get chicks. As if you needed them to tell you.

#24.

These dolls from Russia quite clearly have both male genitalia and the long flowing hair typically associated with females. We're stumped and aroused. Is it possible they're doll versions of David Lee Roth?

Not that it really makes it any better.

#23.

Playmobil makes little figurines in the shape of hundreds of different professions, but only the Hazmat disposal crew provides children with the stark reminder that mankind's excesses will eventually doom us all.

#22.

"You see, girls, your father was in the air force. He was an F-15."

#21.

Why you'd ever feel the need to conceal a USB stick in a doll wearing a bondage mask is beyond us, although it's probably a small blessing that it's not withdrawn via the gimp's ass.

#20.

Teaching a 3 year old how to clean and prepare a fish used to be a difficult and messy task. No longer!

#19.

The thing flying out of the toilet appears to be a plastic piece of poop, molded in the traditionally popular swirl-cone shape. Projectile excrement is a popular prank in Japan, and the workplace injuries that result are a major drain on the economy.

#18.

Shimajiro is the toilet training tiger that swept all over the Web in a video a little while back. When either of the two buttons are pressed, he exclaims a short burst of pro-toilet-training rhetoric. "Crap! Crap like a champion!" and "RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!" seem the likeliest options.

#17.

What on earth is going on with the right side of this toy? Is that a horse coming out from behind the shield? Is this toy some kind of centaur, or is that shield concealing an unnatural sexual act? There are a lot of questions here, and none of the potential answers is very savory.

#16.

On the left is a mysterious toy. On the right, a graphical representation of a virus. And, on the bottom is a picture of what can only be a child catching herpes.

#15.

We're told this is some sort of child's sled, and that thing sticking out of it is a handle, upon which the child can hang on while enjoying an exciting winter adventure.

Why? What did you think it was?

#14.

The closest we can figure is that they're selling a life-sized plush camel, but to make more money they're selling it one body part at a time. This is the head.

#13.

What better way to market your putter with a golden penis on the tip than with three cute cartoon animals? Just imagine Jack Nicholson coming at you, swinging one of these. Hell, now that we've written it, we're having a hard time thinking about anything else.

http://todaystoptoys.com/27-weirdest-christmas-toys.html


it seems as though you guys have been ripped off.

4/25/2009 10:00:48 PM
Creepybaldguy

I want a Teddy Bear gun more than the new apple macbook white that I bought yesterday. I am so serious. that would be the cutest weapon ever!!! I could rob banks with no violence cuz who can say 'no' to a teddy bear?!

3/30/2009 6:35:08 AM
yesbutnotyou

that one thingy in the group with toy(s) #5 looks oddly like Towely.

3/27/2009 4:27:25 PM
pacey

I bought #3 for an old girlfriend. She left me a month later. True story.

3/21/2009 11:06:20 AM
pedoluv

Does anyone know what 5 is?

3/3/2009 1:52:15 PM
James-K

# 7 is freakin funny

3/1/2009 5:55:01 AM
wolfx77

# 7 is freakin funny

3/1/2009 5:54:53 AM
wolfx77

# 7 is freakin funny

3/1/2009 5:54:46 AM
wolfx77

The practice stripper pole isn't (usually) sold to kids... usually it's in the back section of stores like Spencers where 20-somethings with healthy sex lives buy them. I can only imagine who was thinking what when they ordered them for a f*****g toy store...

2/27/2009 3:00:52 AM
Prak

Nevermind, I think that actually a golden turd cell phone charm.

Whatever, I'll turn it into a necklace.

2/15/2009 10:31:32 PM
Kiss Yer Face

You have no idea how much I want that golden turd necklace.

2/15/2009 10:30:40 PM
Kiss Yer Face

I totally want a gun that shoots teddy bears.

2/11/2009 9:10:50 PM
MaggieMarvel

the figures in #5 are actually characters from a Japanese manga called Gegege no Kitarou. The rock slab and the two furthest to the right are based on traditional Japanese demons. The boy is a demon child who had magic sandals, hair that stands up when there is trouble, and one eye.

The anthropomophic eyeball is his dad.

2/3/2009 3:05:38 AM
krillia

How did this one not make it?

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/4787/shaveqj4.jpg

2/2/2009 11:30:07 AM
GeminiMishy

does anyone know what number five is actually called?

1/30/2009 4:49:15 PM
erkimmer

my girlfriend just loves the c**k blocks and penis glof club, a real hole in one if you catch my drift.

1/29/2009 6:59:26 AM
brickham

My friend's one-year-old son got the Benign Girl phone for Christmas.

1/27/2009 6:53:05 AM
redout

Well, it's called "Benign Girl". Go get either a dictionary or an education, then we'll work on your sense of humour.

1/21/2009 3:30:17 AM
OopsWrongPage

Not to be a killjoy here, but what's funny about number 10? I just don't get the joke...

1/18/2009 8:29:24 PM
UndeadMonkey

Finkel: it's actually a capybara. I have one. They are adorable, and make wonderful pillows. :3

1/13/2009 7:13:06 AM
Merissa