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The Best (Worst) Fantasy & Science Fiction Book Covers
If you've been in any bookstore in your lifetime, you're probably familiar with that most peculiar of book retail locales: the Fantasy & Science Fiction section. This strange and sweaty place is kept separate from the rest of the bookstore so that its residents, the soap-averse fans of Fantasy & Science Fiction novels, can go about their plots and dark rituals without disturbing any of the normal-smelling clientele. But there' another very good reason for keeping Fantasy & Science Fiction books segregated. They look really weird. The absolute worst part about every fantasy novel, apart from the writing, is the ludicrous cover art they all seem to have. It' so bad, that ironically enough in this modern age, it' still very bad. And so, after a great deal of very stinky research, I present to you the absolute worst Fantasy & Science Fiction book covers.
Like most guys, I've got posters of heavily muscled men on the walls of my room, and can say that I honestly have no problem staring at the male form for hours on end. But here things may have gotten a bit out of hand. These guys look like they're made out of balls of twine.
Pictured on the cover is our hero, The Golden Queen, accompanied by both his hairstylist, and a bear, boldly striding out of this novel and into a better one.
Zeor: "No! Come back! You haven't seen any of my good pentagrams yet!"
Ninja versus a man-snake with four arms. For some reason, the ninja is positioned to attack someone just off the cover. Who could it be? A man-snake with four legs? It is a mystery.
Author, Jack L Chalker: "Hey Bernie, what'
the biggest number there is?" |
173 Comments
Lol on the Eskimos. Just lol. The explanation is actually worse than the cover... awesome. Thank you, Chris.
I feel slightly ashamed that I own a copy of Robot Commando. It sits alone on my bookshelf.
MORECOCK
hehe servants of the wankh...i'd love to have one of them ;)
MORECOCK
hehe servants of the wankh...i'd love to have one of them ;)
kelsey
the silver warriors has no other viable excuse than to be intentionally ridiculous. I mean, look at the author's name. Moorcock? sounds like a practical joke to me!
Kim
That's incredible. I've read quite a few of these and never thought twice about the covers... Most of these have actually been reprinted a couple hundred times as well, each time with new cover art more fiendish than the last!
Butler
Wow. Alanna sounds like so, so much crap.
Jen
Wow, most of these were hysterical. Wild Magic and Song of the Lioness however, didn't really deserve to be here. Yeah the covers weren't great, but it was the late eighties, what do you expect?
Ernie
The book farewell, earths bliss. im sure the guy is playing air guitar to some dio or somthing. ROCK ON SPACE DUDE!!!
Zaranell
Holy shit, a giant robot fighting a dinosaur? I don't care what anybody says, that kicks ass on principle alone.
meh. the silver warriors was written by Michael Moorcock. sorry.
Courtney
This was completely hilarious. I generally really enjoy a lot of fantasy books, but when I purchase them.. I usually tear off the covers. And I have been known to get into hardcore battles with people who are curious to see what I'm reading. I will not allow them to see. Because of the horribly ridiculous covers.
D-Bone
how could they not go for the obvious joke about The Silver Warriors (polar bears on cover)? the author's last name was moorcock!!!
Guesttt
The Tamora Pierce books are actually really good.. but the description of them was still pretty hilarious
MandaLa
I liked Wild Magic a lot, but that cover kept me from reading it for a good few months.
ggg
hehe! "Ninety trillion. Why do you ask?" "No reason."
Chris
The scene with the skis is depicting a tribe of eskimos that have backpacks for their children to sit in. The kids can then shoot arrows from the backpacks while the adults ski around. I shit you not.
Larry H.
In Farewell, Earth's Bliss, apparently the hero of the book is a rockin' air guitarist!
Damniana
Tamora Pierce is one of the best...And to the guy that said something about Diane being freakishly tall/horse being freakishly short, it was both- Diane was tall, and she was riding a pony. I love watching the funnies, but at least pretend to know what the book is about :\
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dadragonlover
i haven't read the tamora pierce books that are here, but damn she is a good author. the immortals looks interesting, considering you know what they are in her books. interestingly, none are shown...