The Best (Worst) Fantasy & Science Fiction Book Covers
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If you've been in any bookstore in your lifetime, you're probably familiar with that most peculiar of book retail locales: the Fantasy & Science Fiction section. This strange and sweaty place is kept separate from the rest of the bookstore so that its residents, the soap-averse fans of Fantasy & Science Fiction novels, can go about their plots and dark rituals without disturbing any of the normal-smelling clientele. But there' another very good reason for keeping Fantasy & Science Fiction books segregated. They look really weird. The absolute worst part about every fantasy novel, apart from the writing, is the ludicrous cover art they all seem to have. It' so bad, that ironically enough in this modern age, it' still very bad. And so, after a great deal of very stinky research, I present to you the absolute worst Fantasy & Science Fiction book covers.
Like most guys, I've got posters of heavily muscled men on the walls of my room, and can say that I honestly have no problem staring at the male form for hours on end. But here things may have gotten a bit out of hand. These guys look like they're made out of balls of twine.
Pictured on the cover is our hero, The Golden Queen, accompanied by both his hairstylist, and a bear, boldly striding out of this novel and into a better one.
Zeor: "No! Come back! You haven't seen any of my good pentagrams yet!"
Ninja versus a man-snake with four arms. For some reason, the ninja is positioned to attack someone just off the cover. Who could it be? A man-snake with four legs? It is a mystery.
Author, Jack L Chalker: "Hey Bernie, what'
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how did nobody make a mention of the author "Moorcock" on that one book?!
"I have just shat my chair, that is so terrifying."
Awesome.
I own the retief book, he is a diplomat, I s**t you not. if keith laumer were alive he would write for cracked.
re: daggers of darkness..
is that a sabre-toothed codpiece? good thing there's no seat on those tigers, because i don't think he'd be able to sit down without impaling himself.
DUDE, seriously, that guy's name is MOORECOCK, and maybe it's because i'm not american, but this sounds to me like "More.." ..chickens and stuff..
And another thing...in the second Tamora Pierce cover you have up there, the (apparently) only bar in their city is named the Dancing Dove. The only reason? Because Prancing Pony was already taken. I s**t you not.
Oddly enough, Tamora Pierce book covers all seem to include horses. Even when not needed.
Nope, I lie. Sometimes it's wolves, or dogs. Now the fixation seems to be huge freaking faces.
I went through a Tortall phase as a girl, and still collect the new ones. So sue me.
lucky825 there was a dude at my school with the surname of glasscock. another asian guy had the last name of bong. we nicknamed him "spiltha"
>_< Tamora Pierce is still one of my favorite authors. But... I am happy the covers of those books were changed.
is that Jonathan Frakes?
Thats worse than a kid i knew from junior high whose last name was moorehead...
sorry the silver warriors not winds
Did anybody miss the fact that the guys name who wrote THE SILVER WINDS name is Michael MOORCOCK??! oh the laughs he must have shared as a boy.
Hey, those two Tamora Pierce covers are decent :P
Both make sense with the plot of the books... and the drawing is good.
Now, Raven the Frozen God looks frickin insane, since the demented frog thing looks like it has a massive tentacle phallus attacking the woman...
It's these covers that inspired me go to art school! If I didn't have to get a real job I could have been a contender!
Covertwalrus, he probably said that because most women have trouble opening a jar of pickles, unless they're incredibly large and ugly, which the women depicted on these covers are not.
Inferno and Way of the Tiger should be required to switch cover art immediately.
Stones of Evil is the nickname for my balls.
Althought the covers are created specifically to make the reader look ridiculous and feel ashamed of reading these books, people insist on doing it.
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I just wikied The Blue World and you guys have to read the article. Here's what it says under Plot:
"Sklar Hast, the protagonist, had achieved a measure of success and prosperity by passing his examination to be a “Hoodwink”, or semaphore tower operator – a prestigious position on the Blue World, a planet with no land at all. During the space of twelve generations, the descendents of a crashed prison ship have created a civilization on the water-covered planet through reliance on a huge sea plant for all of their needs. However, they are always at the mercy of the kragen, giant, squid-like predators which roam the ocean. The colonists can communicate with the biggest of these, King Kragen, and must appease him with sacrifices organized by an entrenched quasi-religious priesthood built up over generations.
However, when Sklar questions the need to continue to worship these predators, King Kragen appears, wrecks his home and kills his mentor. Rather than regard this as divine punishment, Sklar suspects that the conservative priesthood has enough control over King Kragen to kill those who oppose their views, and to thus uphold their privileged status.
Can he convince his fellow citizens that they must kill King Kragen in order to be free? If so, how can they do it in a world without any solid objects to make weapons?"
Btw, it also one 4 awards....make of that what you will...