The Best (Worst) Fantasy & Science Fiction Book Covers
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If you've been in any bookstore in your lifetime, you're probably familiar with that most peculiar of book retail locales: the Fantasy & Science Fiction section. This strange and sweaty place is kept separate from the rest of the bookstore so that its residents, the soap-averse fans of Fantasy & Science Fiction novels, can go about their plots and dark rituals without disturbing any of the normal-smelling clientele. But there' another very good reason for keeping Fantasy & Science Fiction books segregated. They look really weird. The absolute worst part about every fantasy novel, apart from the writing, is the ludicrous cover art they all seem to have. It' so bad, that ironically enough in this modern age, it' still very bad. And so, after a great deal of very stinky research, I present to you the absolute worst Fantasy & Science Fiction book covers.
Like most guys, I've got posters of heavily muscled men on the walls of my room, and can say that I honestly have no problem staring at the male form for hours on end. But here things may have gotten a bit out of hand. These guys look like they're made out of balls of twine.
Pictured on the cover is our hero, The Golden Queen, accompanied by both his hairstylist, and a bear, boldly striding out of this novel and into a better one.
Zeor: "No! Come back! You haven't seen any of my good pentagrams yet!"
Ninja versus a man-snake with four arms. For some reason, the ninja is positioned to attack someone just off the cover. Who could it be? A man-snake with four legs? It is a mystery.
Author, Jack L Chalker: "Hey Bernie, what'
the biggest number there is?" |
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I'm honestly a little let down you cracked.com guy's didn't give me a good moorcock joke...
I sent a few of these to a friend of mine and he texted me back that the Moorcock book cover is a painting by Frank Franzetta. I don't know what that says about me or my choice of friends.
Though this article was written in 2007, most of these books appear to be from the early '80s. I think modern books have a bit better art nowadays.
Some are great, some are terrible and I didn't know what to make of the rest. Robot vs. T-Rex wins the contest as far as I'm concerned.
heh, Micheal Moorecock
The covers rarely have anything to do with what's in the books because the artists don't have time to read them. That being said, why don't they atleast read the summary, or the damn title?!
Oh, and about that guy riding 2 tigers, he is also using them to cross water. Maybe it was part of his plan to escape that island by standing out in the water and roping the first 2 tigers that swam by. He used hair to make the rope, hence why he's bald.
Sadly, the Tamora Pierce books are kind of awesome. The cover art, not so much. Ponygasm!
I am deeply ashamed to admit I want to read every one of these books.
holy crap i spelled like half those words wrong.. nuts
on the last one it seems to me that the guy jumping from the rock has cuaght and tisted his ankle on said rock and is now probable going fall down into that cloudy void which i dont know might have been his plan along
You forgot Watch on the Rhine.
It's Nazis versus Dinosaur/Aliens.
And it's shiny.
Robot comando looks pretty intense
What about the "Valley of the Worm" bit? It sounds like a one-off porno to me.
I just wikied The Blue World and you guys have to read the article. Here's what it says under Plot:
"Sklar Hast, the protagonist, had achieved a measure of success and prosperity by passing his examination to be a “Hoodwink”, or semaphore tower operator – a prestigious position on the Blue World, a planet with no land at all. During the space of twelve generations, the descendents of a crashed prison ship have created a civilization on the water-covered planet through reliance on a huge sea plant for all of their needs. However, they are always at the mercy of the kragen, giant, squid-like predators which roam the ocean. The colonists can communicate with the biggest of these, King Kragen, and must appease him with sacrifices organized by an entrenched quasi-religious priesthood built up over generations.
However, when Sklar questions the need to continue to worship these predators, King Kragen appears, wrecks his home and kills his mentor. Rather than regard this as divine punishment, Sklar suspects that the conservative priesthood has enough control over King Kragen to kill those who oppose their views, and to thus uphold their privileged status.
Can he convince his fellow citizens that they must kill King Kragen in order to be free? If so, how can they do it in a world without any solid objects to make weapons?"
Btw, it also one 4 awards....make of that what you will...
how did nobody make a mention of the author "Moorcock" on that one book?!
"I have just shat my chair, that is so terrifying."
Awesome.
I own the retief book, he is a diplomat, I s**t you not. if keith laumer were alive he would write for cracked.
re: daggers of darkness..
is that a sabre-toothed codpiece? good thing there's no seat on those tigers, because i don't think he'd be able to sit down without impaling himself.
DUDE, seriously, that guy's name is MOORECOCK, and maybe it's because i'm not american, but this sounds to me like "More.." ..chickens and stuff..
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Tamora Pierce ftw.