The Story: In 2002, George Shinn, the owner of the Charlotte Hornets, told the City of Charlotte that he would leave town and take his basketball team with him if they didn't build a new sports arena. The city turned down his proposal, so Shinn - who was wrapped up in several other scandals at that time as well - made good on his promise and moved his team to New Orleans. Although it's not totally clear when exactly this next part happened, it was somewhere around then that George Shinn, the owner of the Charlotte Hornets, befriended some sort of "rogue helicopter pilot" who proceeded to fly his vehicle 25 to 30 feet above a local citizen named David Thompson's roof line. Thompson spotted them "between the magnolia tree and the property line," where they hovered for approximately two minutes before "bailing out." In this video, Thompson asks the local authorities for what any sensible person would want: Justice. Unfortunately, his request is denied because he is completely fucking insane and none of it actually happened.
Why It Rules: This video provides a unique window into the mind of a complete lunatic. It's easy to forget that the mentally ill, despite spending most of their time kneading raw ground beef and drawing up intricate blueprints for machines that will never work, may actually own televisions and absorb fragments of pop culture. Okay, so David Thompson admittedly mucks up a few facts (like that whole thing about the existence of a "rogue helicopter pilot"), but you've gotta give him credit for name-dropping John Walsh. So what if he thinks he's actually IN the FBI? As an added bonus, you get to hear him call someone a "chameleon, lemon-headed, coward, terrorist pussy," and you know what? That's special. If only there was footage available of the last time he came to speak at the community forum. You know - about "the bundling." Whatever the hell that is.