Did you know your body has blood? Vampires crave your blood. That's the constant: everyone from Dracula to Nosferatu to Anne Rice to Blade to Twilight has vampires craving blood. Your blood. Now, if you'll just invite them into your home, brush away that garlic breath, and take off that cross, for Satan's sake, we can get on with the neck-biting. 

Bloodlust aside, vampires are one of those mythic beings that are so cool we kinda wish those bloodsucking fiends walked our earth (we're either Buffy or Blade in this scenario). And believe us, people have tried to make vampires real. Sometimes in ways stupider than the Salem Witch Trials. While the greatest marketing minds of Victorian times couldn't say Dracula is real, we can hold out hope thanks to coincidences like how Robert Pattinson is related to Vlad The Impaler. Unfortunately for our fantasies where we team up with Van Helsing (still played by Anthony Hopkins in real life) to slay some MFers trying to ice skate uphill, we're stuck reading about vampires. Which you can do on these very pages below:


The Worst Dracula Movie Ever Made

Got a hankering to see Dracula throw down with a notorious Old West outlaw, but in a movie that doesn't understand vampires, the Old West, or how to be a movie? Well, then, good news!

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