That sounds nice, but the problem is Shelly is a lame duck president who was voted out back in August and will be replaced in January because, among other things, he keeps associating with Snyder and the Washington Redskins. That's not exactly good for the team's image, but hey, maybe it was an accident.
What wasn't an accident was the team suing the five Native American people who originally petitioned the government to rescind the team's trademarks earlier this year. Basically, the team's argument is that if the offensive trademarks hadn't been brought to the government's attention, no one would have noticed they were offensive. This is sometimes known as the "Giant Asshole" strategy.
Nevada Gun Ranges Apparently Just Have No Idea What Children Even Are
Real quick, let's go over some places that are mostly safe for kids: Chuck E. Cheese's, elementary schools, nana's house. Places that aren't safe for kids: a fucking gun range. That may seem obvious, but it apparently isn't if you're The Range 702, an indoor shooting range in Las Vegas that is totally fine with allowing children to try out some automatic weapons.
"If the Second Amendment isn't used by second grade we've failed as a country."
In fact, The Range 702 welcomes kids, saying that firing a full-auto weapon is often "an eye-opener" for the children. Keep in mind, this was mere days after a fatal accident at another nearby gun range, Bullets and Burgers, in Nevada. A 9-year-old girl lost control of an Uzi and accidentally shot her instructor in the head seconds after he switched the weapon to full-auto. And she was actually a year older than the range's minimum age.
Now, this information didn't come out because of some shady journalism thing where a reporter tried to trick someone into putting a foot in their mouth. The company's statement was in response to the fatal shooting. In fact, The Range 702 was the only range that even responded to requests for comment on the accident. One part of their statement rings true: yes, we imagine accidentally killing someone is indeed quite an eye-opener.
Famous(ly Racist) Rancher Finds the One Black Guy Who Will Say He's Not a Bigot
Remember Cliven Bundy, the big Nevada rancher who started out as a hero to conservatives when he stood up to the government after they told him to keep his livestock off federal land, but then got totally ditched after he said a lot of super-racist things about black people, like how they were better off as slaves?
Comstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"Come back! I'll say they should only pick on government lands!"
Maybe you don't, because it happened six months ago and that's an eternity in news controversies. But look out, he's back! Or he was, anyway. This fall, in the run-up to this year's midterm elections, Bundy teamed up with independent Nevada congressional candidate Kamau Bakari, who is apparently the only person (black or otherwise) in America willing to be seen in public with Bundy, even if it is for a lame publicity stunt. (Spoiler: Bakari lost, bad.)
In a campaign video featuring the two, they bumble through some logic hoops where Bundy is presented as a martyr on the altar of Free Speech, bled dry by the forces of Political Correctness. Or something. It's super silly. But the best part is that they challenge Eric Holder (who, if you're not aware, is also black) to come to Nevada and debate them ... or something? It's not really clear what they want him to do. Or why Bundy's in the video, for that matter. Point is, we apparently need more "brave white men" in America to say things like: black people "abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton."
For more from Ashe, check out Weird Shit Blog and his book, The Book of Word Records, available now!
While we're on the topic, check out 4 Hilarious Leaked Memos Corporations Don't Want You to See.