It's easy to get mad at Hollywood for showing us the same explosion-filled turds every year, but look at it this way: For every bad movie you see on the big screen, there are a hundred even worse ones that didn't make it. And the best part is, the reasons why they didn't make it are way more hilarious than the movies ever could have been.
We previously told you all about a bunch of movies that seemed destined for failure, but thankfully for us, Hollywood hasn't learned its lesson. Cruel fate and spectacular incompetence have once again teamed up in an unholy alliance to stop movies like ...
5 Steve Jobs' Ghost Is Clearly Sabotaging His Third Biopic
Unfortunately for the serious-eyebrowed method actors of Hollywood, the moviegoing public has made it clear that they don't give one solitary monkey-slapping shit about the life story of the guy who gave them their iPods. Despite Ashton Kutcher's batshit dedication and surprisingly good performance, Jobs is ridiculous, while the intentionally ridiculous iSteve is just god-awful. Short of getting the exact same guys who did The Social Network, nothing could get people excited about a studio making another Steve Jobs movie.
So that's exactly what Sony decided to do.
Now we're talking! Who better than David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin to tell us the story of another arrogant, somewhat misogynistic blowhard whose products we use every day? And they even had Christian Bale on board as Jobs ... for like 15 minutes, before it all fell apart.
"I'm sorry, but my MySpace Tom dream project just opened up."