4 Surreal Ways Scary Groups Are Trying to Look Friendly

4

The Russian Troops Who Invaded Crimea Take Happy Pictures With Anyone Who Wants It

2014 has been an interesting year for Russia and its neighbors. Winter Olympics fever took Eastern Europe by storm -- that is, all of the parts of Eastern Europe that weren't totally screwed by it -- and as soon as those two weeks of pretending to care about obscure athletic competitions tenuously connected to cold weather dried up, Russia went and invaded Crimea while simultaneously denying they were doing so, because global politics is occasionally a cartoon show.

However, not everyone in Crimea totally hates their Russian invaders, because not all of Crimea was completely down with becoming part of the European Union (which was theoretically on the table before the previous Ukrainian president suddenly changed his mind and was booted out of office for his trouble). The invading troops extended an olive branch to these pro-Russian citizens the only way the 21st century knows how -- by posing for adorable selfies.

Via Instagram
Moments before Granny's hand got uncomfortably lower.

3

Thai Military Coup Commander Wrote and Released Ballad Titled "Return Happiness to Thailand" to Make People Happy

As we mentioned above, Thailand has pretty much turned upside down over the past few weeks ever since the military declared martial law. This isn't completely unheard of for Thailand, though -- the last time something like this happened was only eight years ago. So while the Army storming the White House and holding the president hostage seems more like a Roland Emmerich movie you watch on Netflix while nursing a hangover than something that could actually happen, for Thailand it happens about as often as a new Star Wars movie, which partly explains why everyone was so quick to get their picture taken with soldiers who look like they'd really rather be killing people.

Zuma/Rex
"It's not that bad!"
-Star Wars fans/the Thai people

2

Neo-Nazis Are Turning Into Hipsters to Appeal to the Youth

Neo-Nazis admittedly face a pretty tough challenge when they do membership drives. It's hard to win people over to your cause when your cause was responsible for, oh, the darkest period in human history. Consequently, recruitment brochures are a brainteaser to assemble, which is why the neo-Nazis in Germany have been trying to clean up their image (and the label "neo-Nazi") by turning themselves into fashionable, scene-conscious hipsters.

rt.com
"Our posters are printed with recycled paper and recycled hate."

1

China's Special Forces Are Recruiting With Movie Posters

China has recently declared a nationwide "people's war" on terror, which surprisingly doesn't involve spending trillions of dollars on a perpetual troop deployment in the Middle East. However, maintaining peace in a country with over four times the population of the United States requires a massive police force. And when your country loves Michael Bay movies more than America does, your best hope in driving new membership is to depict the police force in super badass Hollywood-style movie posters, pouring out of an armored G.I. Joe van and lining up for explosive action that will likely also contain some soft-core nudity.

Chengdu Public Security Bureau
"Wait until you see what's behind this riot shield ..."

Chengdu's Public Security Bureau (actual motto: "Loyalty! Serving the People! Justice! Cleanliness!") recently released these posters to help reach their recruitment goal of nearly 400 new members for their Special Forces division, all but promising hopeful applicants that at least a portion of their workday will occur in slow motion.

Chengdu Public Security Bureau
"Can ... can I put the leg down? It's been 10 minutes."

If these posters have taught us anything, it's that Chinese cops apparently carry crossbows. That's just, like, a job one guy on every team has. But it's not all roundhouse kicks and explosions -- there's downtime for hilarious antics and playful alt-rock opening credit montages with your fellow officers, too. Because above all else, Chengdu Police is a family.

Chengdu Public Security Bureau
With crossbows.

The third part of XJ's epic science-fiction novel is out now on Amazon. The first $0.99 novella can be found here, with Part 2 out here. Or leave a review and get a free copy! Poke him on Twitter and follow him on Facebook.