Another hapless couple purchased a house in St. Louis, Missouri, only to discover when they moved in that it was filled with over 5,000 brown recluse spiders. Owner Susan Trost said that they were, in fact, "bleeding out of the walls" and that she had dodged one in the shower. It's like Poltergeist, if instead of an old cemetery, the home was built on a FUCKING CEMETERY FULL OF LIVING SPIDERS.
"Well, duh. Where the fuck do you think the bodies came from?"
The house had to be covered in a giant Dr. Seuss tent and flooded with gas, which was kind of like sending a clown to a baby funeral, in that it was a hilariously inappropriate ending to a horrifying story.
The possibility of clowns in tent scared all the spiders away.