4 Hilariously Passive-Aggressive Ways People Paid Fines
Deserved or not, nobody is happy about having to pay a fine. These four people wanted to make damn sure everyone knew just how unhappy they were.
With Toilet Paper
Dick Roper was hit with a 30-pound parking ticket. In an effort to demonstrate exactly how he felt about the fine, he attempted to pay the amount by writing a check on a strip of toilet paper.
"Let me finish drinking this goat cheese milkshake and I'll sign it for you."
The judicial system didn't find it quite as whimsical, and they dragged him to court and demanded he pay an extra 15 pounds for "cashing charges" (we, on the other hand, would have accepted anything with "Dick Roper" written on it).
Finally, a judge agreed to allow him to pay just the original amount, but with real, actual currency instead of an IOU hastily scribbled on two-ply butt tissue like a backwoods lunatic.
With 31,000 Pennies
After cutting down some trees on his property to avoid them spilling onto his neighbor's lot, Jay Sperry received a $310.50 bill from the city. The bill was for sending city workers to mow the grass around his property's perimeter since Sperry had failed to do so himself after removing the trees, because somehow that equals hundreds of dollars (presumably the mower blades were etched from diamond and attached to a lawn tractor driven by the Last Son of Krypton).
The city refused to budge on the bill, so Sperry paid it -- in pennies. He loaded 31,050 pennies (that's 170 pounds of currency) into buckets and dropped them on a desk at City Hall. We assume the total number of coins could be substituted on a 1-for-1 basis for the amount of dicks Sperry respectfully instructed city officials to eat.
With Dollar Bill Origami Pigs Inside a Doughnut Box
Unhappy about getting a $137 ticket from a red light camera (though to be fair, no one has ever been totally excited to get one), a man in Texas paid the amount with dollar bills folded into tiny pigs and delivered them in a Dunkin' Donuts box, presumably because he never saw First Blood and/or thought charming wit could deflect a blow from a telescoping nightstick. A police officer made him step out of line and unfold all the pigs before allowing him to pay, presumably carving every detail of his face into rage memory.
With 29 Separate Checks (for a 60-Pound Fine)
A Southampton woman got a 60-pound ticket for parking in a handicapped spot. She answered the fine by paying with 29 separate checks for 1 or 2 pounds each, presumably because she thought this would serve as undeniable proof that she was retarded and thus negate the violation.
For added effect, she filled them out in crayon.
Unfortunately, it merely proved that she was perfectly happy to make crippled people hobble an extra 50 feet into the Virgin Megastore and waste civil servants' time throwing a tantrum over getting caught being a shithead. Admittedly, those are both small prices to pay to get whatever horrible Adele CD she wanted 20 seconds earlier.
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