3 Headlines That Prove the News Cycle Is an Infinite Loop
Maybe it's general laziness. Maybe it's some profound cultural tunnel vision brought on by the click-drunk Internet. In any case, it's screamingly obvious that the media have an amazing ability to completely forget the shit they reported just a few years earlier.
Don't believe us? Take a look at three recent news cycles that, when you step back for a moment and dig through the headlines, draw to mind the classic quote, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it," which we're pretty sure was coined by Jesse Ventura.
The News Loves to Cannibalize America's Sweetheart
2011: "Everyone loves America's sweetheart, Anne Hathaway," says news.
2012: Anne Hathaway takes a tight-outfit, people-beating role that everyone loves.
2012: The media start rhetorically asking why everyone hates an actress that only the media hate.
2012: Jennifer Lawrence takes on a tight-outfit, people-beating role that everyone loves.
2012: "Everyone loves America's sweetheart, Jennifer Lawrence," says news.
2013: Old sweetheart is arbitrarily compared to new sweetheart.
2013: The word "backlash" gets bandied around.
2013: Jennifer Lawrence's life is not terrible.
2014: The word "backlash" gets bandied around.
2014: The media start rhetorically asking why everyone hates an actress that only the media hate.
2014: Old sweetheart is arbitrarily compared to new sweetheart.
2014: "Everyone loves America's sweetheart, Lupita Nyong'o," says news.
2014: Lupita Nyong'o is doomed.
Amanda Bynes Is Sexy and/or Has Mental Issues and/or Has Sexy Mental Issues
2005: Amanda Bynes turns 18. The media begin the arduous task of headline-humping the crap out of her.
2008:
2009:
2010:
2012/2013: Her public meltdown begins. The media think it's a trip.
2013: Everyone realizes that it's not that great to make fun of people with psychiatric problems.
2014: Amanda Bynes gets better. The media resume the arduous task of headline-humping the crap out of her.
Banksy's Graffiti Gets Graffitied
2003: Unnamed "graffiti artist" breaks the law by imposing himself on "real art."
2004:
2005:
2005:
2006:
2007: Banksy finally gets a name in the media, but is seen as a nuisance by the government.
2008: The media fall in love with Banksy, whose "pranks" turn into "murals."
2009:
2011:
2013:
2013:
2013:
2013:
2014:
2014: Unnamed "graffiti artist" breaks the law by imposing himself on "real art."
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