The 31 Most Disturbing Things About Being A Parent
Life with kids is more terrifying than Steve Martin movies would have you believe.
![The 31 Most Disturbing Things About Being A Parent](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/2/6/1/576261.jpg?v=1)
Hollywood likes to romanticize the whole parenting thing by making movies that are two acts of hilarious calamity, and a third act of lessons learned and love-filled reconciliation. In real life, however, it's closer to never-ending acts of the first ... minus the hilarious part.
For example ...
![You will, never understand Common Core Nund he besr math. answer. Find missing part lame for exercises part. missing the 5. Find the numbers. 2. Write](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/8/574838.jpg?v=1)
![YOUR CHILD WILL MOCK CRACKEDco YOU ENDLESSLY FOR NOT KNOWING THE NAMES OF EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER Bess? Karen? Sue? Binky? Artax? FROM EVERY SINGLE CAR](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/9/574839.jpg?v=1)
![YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF NEGOTIATING EVERY BITE If you eat two more broccoli you can have ice cream fordessert. But iF O eat CWO more 0 WON'L nave roOm FO](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/4/2/574842.jpg?v=1)
![ANYTHING CAN GO FROM FAVORITE TO HATED AT ANY TIME, AND IT WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE! GRACKEDOON'](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/4/7/574847.jpg?v=1)
![CRAC START PRACTICING YOUR FAKE LAUGH. You'll need it when your kid tells you the same knock knock joke for the umpteenth time.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/4/5/574845.jpg?v=1)
![See There NIGNT NOESES are some UN aA NLRSC ATSOREN ABC great children's SPIbEr The BM ON Theurne THiAT books... COULD But it's the boring ones that](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/4/0/574840.jpg?v=1)
![HOT WHEELS TIRES ARE A PERFECT FIT FOR TODDLERS' EARS AND YOU CANNOT PULL THEM OUT WITH TWEEZERS CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/7/574837.jpg?v=1)
![He'll want to watch one particular episode of his favorite show... ...over... ...and over... ...and over... ...and over again.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/5/574835.jpg?v=1)
![It will seem like everyone else's kids do way cooler and more educational things over the summer than yours HOGWARTS STEM SCHOOL FOR XAVIERS GiFTED YO](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/3/574833.jpg?v=1)
![You're going to have to come up with a response that says both Good boy! and The pants come down first! CRACKED.GOM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/2/574832.jpg?v=1)
![After 50 years of feminism your daughter's main aspiration is to be a Disney Princess CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/0/574830.jpg?v=1)
![IF YOUR BOWELS ARE BACKED UP AND YOU DON'T HAVE BACKUP, POTTY TIME IS STILL FAMILY TIME. CRA](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/9/574829.jpg?v=1)
![The act of cutting the umbilical cord symbolises the first step to fatherhood. It is also going to be a traumatizing experience. *You are essentially](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/8/574828.jpg?v=1)
![There's a reason boys are often nicknamed SQUIRT](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/7/574827.jpg?v=1)
![You won't need Google to find out... Which toys can survive the oven What happens if you machine-wash your new jacket Will the kick in your head wake](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/6/574826.jpg?v=1)
![A toddler can outvoice everyone in a crowded restaurant. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/4/574824.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKED CONT TODDLERS LOVE TO PLEASURE THEMSELVES](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/5/574825.jpg?v=1)
![Two CORN Words: Snacke SCHOOL GOUSNEt GRACKEDOON 19 Ene FUNDRAISER](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/2/574822.jpg?v=1)
![DOING NOTHING IS REALLY REALLY HARD MUST---BREAK--- FREE---TELL SON HE'S DOING IT WRONG--- CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/1/4/574814.jpg?v=1)
![Brace yourself for the creepy things your kids are going to say about their imaginary friends, like Mom, Tony doesn't have a face and he lives in you](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/1/574821.jpg?v=1)
![in a child's mind: LALLALLL coroe HANO NOS h THIS IS TO PAINT WALLS, DOORS AND MIRRORS THESE ARE TO PAINT SOMEONE'S SKIN](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/1/8/574818.jpg?v=1)
![GRACKEDG CONT ILLD You spend SO much time at the Urgent Care that going is like visiting old friends](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/0/574820.jpg?v=1)
![Once they figure out how to get out of the crib It's all over c](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/1/5/574815.jpg?v=1)
![KIDS LOVE TO COLLECT THE WEIRDEST BGers AND THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/2/3/574823.jpg?v=1)
![YOUR CHILD WILL THROW UP AT ANY TIME AND ANY PLACE FOR NO REASON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/1/1/574811.jpg?v=1)
![When you realize that three simple words said by your child: I hate you can destroy you. CRACKED.COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/0/8/574808.jpg?v=1)
![YOUR CHILD WILL CRY BECAUSE HE GOT SCARED WATCHING THE TV SHOW YOU LET HIM WATCH BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T STOP CRYING CRAUN](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/0/6/574806.jpg?v=1)
![MEN, ALWAYS WEAR A SHIRT WHEN HOLDING A BREASTFED BABY CRAG WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY, THEY WILL TRY TO SUCKLE ANYTHING](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/3/6/574836.jpg?v=1)
![A child's messy room becomes an obstacle course of PAIN.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/0/4/574804.jpg?v=1)
![CRACKED.CO NG SH MEN FOR IS a PLAYBOY wwaloybop.com 2001 FESRUARY tmas ANNA MEN ue NICOLE HAHN, ENTERTAINMENT FOR JESSICA AND SMITH UGHTY IN BE OUGHIO](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/4/1/574841.jpg?v=1)
![Children never listen. Yet they somehow manage to hear everything. Papa, what's a douchebag? CRACKED COM](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/8/0/9/574809.jpg?v=1)