Urban Legends About Alcohol (That Are Complete B.S.)
These myths were probably all conjured up by people who were totally plastered.
![Urban Legends About Alcohol (That Are Complete B.S.)](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/9/4/2/560942.jpg?v=1)
We can blame the news or television or Hollywood for a lot of the nonsense we believe about alcohol and its effects on our meatbags. But those mediums just perpetuate the myths -- we're pretty sure the source of all of these myths was someone who was just totally shitfaced.
As always, thanks to AuntieMeme for the voodoo she works putting these together.
![MYTH: DRINK COFFEE TO SOBER UP. FACTE COFFEE JusT MAKes you An ALERT DRuNK. Coffee is a stimulant, while alcohol is a depressant. The caffeine will ma](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/0/560640.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 TAKE An ASPIRIN BEFORE DRINKING TO PReVENT A HANGOVER. FACT8 ASPIRIN mAkes you DRUNKER FOR LONGER. A study by the American Medical Association f](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/5/560635.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 Beer BEFORE LIQUOR, NeveR SICKER; LIQUOR BEFORE BEER, YOURE in THE CLEAR. FACT8 DRINK oRDeR MAkes no DIFFeRENCE. Drinking four beers and four sh](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/2/560642.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: RED wine GOES WITH RED MEAT, And WHITE GOES WITH FISH. FAGT8 IT DepENDS on THE FLAVORS. Wine experts have conducted scientific studies, and they](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/7/560657.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: one DRINK peR HOUR And YOULL BE FINE TO DRIVE Home. 12 PO 2 8 .76 5 CUANTZ brilllis FACT8 A DRINK TAKES TWO HOURS TO WEAR OFF. A 12-ounce bottle](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/0/560650.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 TO LOSE WEIGHT, cuT out ALCOHOL 2 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 FAGT8 women WHO DRINK ARE LESS LIKELY TO Be OBeSE. Studies have shown that women who c](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/6/560656.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: American BEeR IS WEAK. FAGT8 IT'S JUsT measured DIFFERENTLY FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD. Most countries measure beer alcohol percentage by volume](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/5/560655.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: VITAmIN B WILL CURE A HANGOVER. FAGT8 VITAmInS DON'T WORK on ALCOHOL. Whether you try injections the night before or popping pills the morning a](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/3/560653.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8: A GOOD BARF WILL SOBER you UP. FACTE ALCOHOL IS ALREADY In your sYSTem BY THE TIME YoU vomIT. Alcohol absorption works by way of simple diffusi](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/4/560654.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: PASSED-OUT BUDDY? LeT THeM SLEEP. FAGT8 KeeP An eye on A SLeEPING DRunK. Shitfaced drunk people have a habit of vomiting, and if they're lying o](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/1/560651.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 UNDeRAge DRINKING IS An ePIDeMIC. FAGT8 TEENAGe DRINKING IS AT An ALL-TImE LOW. The number of teens who abused alcohol dropped by a whopping two](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/5/2/560652.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 THE OLDER THE WInE, THE BETTER IT IS. FACT8 MOST wInes ARe BEST WITHIN A YEAR OR TWO OF BOTTLING. There are some rare exceptions, but most wines](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/9/560649.jpg?v=1)
![MYTHB A nice NIGHTCAP WALL HELP YoU SLEEP. FAGT8 IT'LL RuIn HALF YOUr NiGHT. Scientists have found that while an alcoholic drink at bedtime will help](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/8/560648.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 LIGHT BeeR IS GOOD FOR you. RE FAGT8 YOU'LL DRINK more OF IT. Because light beer contains less alcohol and fewer calories than regular beer, peo](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/7/560647.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 THERE IS no CURE FOR AHANGOVER. FACT: A BACON SANDWICH HELPS. British scientists have said that a bacon sandwich will cure a hangover. The bread](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/5/560645.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 ALCOHOL KeePS YoU WARm. FACT8 IT Just MAkes YoU THINKYOU'RE WARm. Alcohol makes you feel warm (and turn beet red) because it causes your blood v](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/6/560646.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 Hung OveR? HAVE A DRINK. FAGT8 THE HAIR OF THE DOG WOn'T unBite You. It's a common myth-the best way to recover from a regrettable night of drin](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/4/560644.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 ALCOHOL +- EneRgy DRINKS= E DRUNKER IA 380 eCBu| DRY THEF SIXT O FILTA ENER GY LaLMOND FACT: you DRINK more BECAuSE YoU FEEL LESS DRunK. Mixing](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/3/560643.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: DARKER DRINKS ARE HEALTHIER. FACT8 DARK DRINKS GIVE YoU A WORSE HANGOVER. While it's true that red wines and darker beers generally have more an](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/4/1/560641.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: You cAn BEAT A BREATHALYZERT TEST. 0.052 Matcohawe: FACT8 BREATHALYZERS ARE UNFAKEABLE. All the fake-outs, from eating mustard to burping to hyp](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/9/560639.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 BREAK THE SEAL And YOULL BE in THE JOHN ALL NIGHT. FAGT8 IT DoESN'T MATTER HOW LONG you WAIT. It's a myth that once you make that first bathroom](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/8/560638.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 BeeR GIVES you ABIG BELLY. FAGT8 SCIENTISTS HAVE FouND no LINK beTween BeeR DRINKING And THE BeeR BELLY. Abdominal obesity has everything to do](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/6/560636.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: An ALCOHOLICI IS A peRson WHO DRINKS TOO MUcH. FAGT8 An ALCOHOLIC MIGHT not DRINK AT ALL. It's never healthy to binge-drink, but a person who dr](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/3/560633.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH8 ABSINTHE MAkes YoU TRIP BALLS. FAGT8 ABSINTHE IS STRONG, BUT IT DoESN'T Make YOU HALLUCINATE. The potentially toxic/hallucinogenic thujone that](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/4/560634.jpg?v=1)
![MYTH: ALCOHOL KILLS BRAIN CELLS! FACT8 IT JUsT IMPAIRS THEM FOR A WHILE. According to scientific studies, the dopiness associated with being drunk has](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/6/3/7/560637.jpg?v=1)