16 Real News Stories, Adjusted By Us For Insanity (3/13)

Finding truth in the news is like going to see a movie based on the trailer: You've already seen all the good parts, but now they're buried beneath a pile of hot garbage.

But luckily for you, our readers have taken this week's popular headlines and stripped them of all the bullshit so you can quickly digest all the important stuff, and not worry about paying $5.25 for a small bag of Reese's Pieces.