"Please, we have drones and the ability to monitor communications anywhere in the world. We don't need to hide in your trashcan."
Jerome, an investigative trainee from California, explains, "Nine times out of 10, the case involved watching out for elves, or aliens, or the CIA. One of the investigators I worked with was tasked to watch a woman's house while she was away. She thought men were breaking in and moving her furniture around. She paid for two eight-hour days of surveillance at $65 an hour." Which is to say that she was really paying to have a professional reassure her that she was imagining things, and hadn't been targeted by the League of Stealth Redecorators.
"The last case I worked was a woman who thought her neighbors were spraying acidic chemicals into her house at night," Jerome adds. "Paid us to watch her house for six hours." A lot of these cases came up after the NSA scandal injected the entire country with a triple dose of paranoia. Jordan, who runs a PI business in Louisiana, says clients want them to "check their home and ... cavities for wiretaps from the government, etc, or find the ghost haunting their home."
"I think you're fine, Mrs. Flenderson. This PKE meter isn't picking up anything."