Bill Fulton owned an army-surplus store. He sold guns, hunting gear, survivalist equipment, and more in Alaska. Now, Alaska is one of America's militia hot spots, which is most clearly illustrated by the professional, cutting-edge website of the Alaska Citizens Militia.

Alaska Citizens Militia
All that's missing is a MIDI file of "Cat Scratch Fever" that you can't shut off, ever.

Fulton isn't a crazy person -- you don't have to be a lunatic to like guns and cool survival gear. But, when you operate a store that sells that kind of stuff -- especially in Alaska -- you're going to get militia. "I'm the Libertarian type," says Fulton, "but, like ... the pro-gay-rights sort of Libertarian type. Because my customers were essentially far right-wing, the political events I went to, the candidates I donated to, were all far right-wing. Being seen at the Democratic caucus for Anchorage would not have helped my business at all."

So, Bill Fulton, savvy businessman, finds himself in a community of loons who think President Obama's FEMA death squads are just waiting for the order to commit #WhiteGenocide. Hey, we've all got bills to pay. "I think militias are stupid ... but, if a bunch of guys want to put on camouflage and run around the woods with guns, go ahead. Just don't become a threat."

Mark Lester/Alaska Dispatch News
To others. Among yourselves, whatever.

But, one of the guys Fulton knew, Schaeffer Cox, decided he wanted to become a threat. Cox, then 28, was founder of the "Alaska Peacemakers Militia" and a former (failed) candidate for the House Of Representatives. He looked like the human embodiment of 4chan's /pol/ board:

Anchorage Press
"A chicken in every pot and a doxxing for every dissident."

Cox immediately rubbed Fulton the wrong way. Then, he and his awful hat started traveling around the country, speaking at public events about murdering government officials. " ... he sure told everybody in the speeches that he had 3,500 [men in his militia]. That's how he got on the FBI's radar. They have these Freedom Rallies in, like, Montana. Or, Liberty Rallies. He said some things during those speeches like, 'We have engineers that are building claymore bombs, and we have rocket launchers,' which, of course, is illegal."

KTUU
Fashion ended up being his least offensive crime.

And that's when Schaeffer Cox finally rubbed the FBI the wrong way. Fulton's side gig was as a bounty hunter, because why not just hang out with the shadiest people possible. He had also worked with the FBI once to help bust a crazy customer of his ("He was talking about placing explosives at certain federal government installations"). And once he had done one job for the FBI, they placed him in their list of "people in Alaska we can trust, despite having just ... the worst friends."

So, one day, they handed Fulton a bunch of names of other people they considered sketchy in the area. "... they were like, do you know any of these other people? And, of course, I knew all those other people. If you own a military surplus store in Alaska, your clientele is pretty right-wing. Cox was one of those names." The FBI asked him to go to a militia meeting in Fairbanks, Alaska, that Cox would be attending and to "have a chat -- see what he's got to say."

That's all the information they would give him, and those simple orders would eventually lead to massive undercover arms deals and, for Fulton, a life in hiding.

So, Schaeffer Cox is a "sovereign citizen." In brief, they're people who believe the whole U.S. government is a sham, and if they do things, such as spell their name a certain way, the government won't legally be able to prosecute them. They also believe all courtrooms in America are invalid because they fly the wrong flag.

American Patriot Friends Network
"Your sea-laws can't stop me, Judge!"

Sovereign citizens do things such as driving without ID, or plates, or registration, ensuring that there are warrants out for many of them at any given time. Police generally hate serving said warrants, because sovereign citizens have a nasty habit of flipping out and gunning down cops. A 2014 survey of American law enforcement showed they considered sovereign citizens more of a threat to their lives and communities than Islamic terrorists or neo-Nazis.

Schaeffer Cox had a warrant out for his arrest, like most of these chucklefucks, so he was in "hiding" when Fulton arrived in Fairbanks. "So, he's at a safe house or something. But, that safe house is his friend's couch. Sovereign citizen safe houses aren't really the Hollywood version." Fulton and Cox then settled in for a long night of talking about angry nonsense. "As the evening progresses, he starts talking about how they have their own judges, and they're going to issue warrants for real judges and police officers, and since I own this fugitive recovery business, would I serve these warrants for him?"

Wait, what? Yeah, Cox's plan was to arrest and execute a bunch of government employees on behalf of a new government they were going to form right there in the living room. "He's like, if we do this, we'll start a revolution. And I have my own militia, and it's like 3,500 guys. And I'm like, OK, I'm going to need another beer."

Second Amendment Task Force
"We need to bring back the America that the Founding Fathers envisioned,
where people like me have no rights because I'm too poor to own land."

That specific idea -- that if they just start fighting the government, the whole nation will rise up with them against the tyranny of, uh, Obamacare or photo IDs or whatever, is incredibly common. If you listen to the hours of audio interviews with the militia nuts who occupied that park building in Oregon, you'll hear a lot of the same rhetoric: "Once the American people see what's going on, they'll rise up!", et al.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Still waiting.

"Needless to say, my phone call with the FBI was not pleasant. I was like, what in the hell did you guys get me into? I was a little freaked out that night."

"I got loud and made fun of him; the whole goal was to cut his nuts off in front of everybody, so all these militias who supported him didn't support him when that meeting was done. So, I'm in a dark, smokey room with, like, the heads of probably 15 different militia groups, with the combined brainpower of a walnut ... we're all there to hear what Schaeffer Cox's plan is. He's like an hour-and-a-half late, so by the time he gets there, we're all drinking and pissed because he's late. He starts talking, and Schaeffer Cox is one of these guys who loves to hear himself speak. If he has a 15-minute slot of time, he'll be up there for two hours.

"He starts in with one of his little speeches, and I say, 'Dude, don't give us your speech, just give us the plan.'

'Well, I don't really have a solid plan.'

'And I'm like, well, you told me your plan last night'."

Dante Petri
"OK, my new plan is to let this guy do all the talking while I stand here and think about hats."

Fulton basically spent the rest of the night mocking Cox for being badly prepared and wasting everyone's time by convening a Nut Moot without good cause. "When you think of the type of guys who command militias, it's a very alpha-male sort of environment. So, it was a good environment to do that in. Now, I never asked the FBI if this was a great idea. But, at this point, I'd decided the dude was dangerous. All I had to go off of was the conversation from the night before, so by the time this little meeting's over, Cox runs off, none of the militia guys are gonna support him, and I go home thinking I'll never see Cox again."

Fulton felt his plan worked, but the FBI was not happy. They gave him a dressing down, and he promised not to go "off the reservation" again. Unfortunately, neither they nor Fulton were done with Schaeffer Cox yet. And the next step involved a shitload of fake guns.

During a mass meeting of the militias in Anchorage, Fulton met up with Cox and his men to arrange an illegal arms deal. Fulton even tried to talk them out of it. "I'm like, you understand you can get this legally with tax stamps? You know buying automatic weapons illegally is 10 years in jail? I even had Cops playing on the TV!" But, they still wanted to buy their weapons illegally because they probably figured adhering to the law prior to your revolution is like taking an escalator to the gym.

20th Television
But, hey, if you really want to find out how above-the-law that whole "sovereign citizen" thing actually makes you ...

So, Fulton agreed to do the selling. "... there was a U.S. Attorney and a couple FBI agents overhearing things in the room next to me." Once the order was placed, the ball was in the hands of the prop department the FBI apparently has. "Quantico has ... a division that has a bunch of fake stuff that looks really real. So, the grenades, the silenced pistols -- all of them appear to function, but none of them will. So, as the case agent you say, 'Hey, I need a case of grenades and couple of silenced pistols' or rocket launchers or nuclear bombs or whatever else you need.

"I get off the plane, and rent this hotel room. One of the case agents shows up and hands me suitcases. I open them. He's like, don't touch it. It was a couple silenced pistols and grenades, which is what these idiots had ordered. They wanted to execute some police officers with the silenced pistols. I dunno -- whatever video game fantasy they had in their heads."

Offworld Industries
Why can't they fantasize about overthrowing that a*****e L-shaped Tetris block, like normal people?

"Guys like Norm Olson ... they keep 'em right on the edge. I view 'em almost as like a pastor. These guys are almost like preachers. They have their flock and their congregation, and then you have instances like McVeigh ... does Norm Olson have some responsibility in that? Absolutely. Does he have responsibility in telling Schaeffer Cox his rhetoric was right? Absolutely. Can we convict him? No. So ... a subset of people like that literally manipulate a large portion of these cases you hear about."

Vice
Getting rid of the turds doesn't do much when the a*****e is free to s**t out new ones.

We are talking about seriously easily influenced people here. There's a reason the first thing the FBI had Ammon Bundy do once they had arrested him was ask the other Oregon militia occupiers to stand down. "Do I think Schaeffer Cox would've personally killed anyone? Absolutely not. But, one of his minions? Absolutely. I remember a meeting with Schaeffer ... he was talking about the coming revolution, but that he couldn't be too close to the front lines because he was too important to the movement to die. But, Schaeffer was a great orator; I saw him lift crowds into frenzies."

Schaeffer Cox received 25 years in prison for his crimes. He won't be speaking to any crowds anytime soon. As for Fulton ...

Fulton was paid a total of $30,000 for his trouble. But, he still works with the FBI as an informant on various militia groups. Most of that happens online. Even with his continued involvement, Bill doesn't feel particularly worried about reprisals. He recognizes there's danger in staying near them, but doesn't think there are high odds of them bothering to track him down. He did tell us he's changed his face: "I haven't had plastic surgery or anything. But, there are ways."

He seemed secure in the fact that right-wing militias are, quote, "dumber" than other groups you can piss off. If so, the rest of America is hoping these guys never suddenly get smart.

Raw Story
*whew*

Robert Evans just wrote his first book, A Brief History of Vice, and you can pre-order it now. He's also got a Twitter.

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