So the inmate decided that hoes ain't worth dying for, and the guards overreacted: "They had to handcuff him to the gator to keep him from jumping off ... they pull him back there and beat the hell out of him and called him queer the whole time, and there was nothing I could do about it ... The LT rode up on his horse, and they beat this dude mercilessly. He had to have dental work done. If the dude wasn't gay, they still woulda beat him up some, but not that bad."
Yeah, physical abuse of inmates isn't exactly rare. "I'm not gonna say I haven't whacked an inmate with a clipboard, but I've not hurt an offender on purpose. A guy who hit me in the face with eggs, we had a fistfight. But that was a fistfight between us. And I didn't leave him beat up so bad ... neither of us had marks. And he hit me in the face with boiled eggs, I was pretty mad about that."
It's hard to know how you'll react in that eggxact situation.
Even when inmates are outright killed by guards, the perpetrators are essentially never punished. The Marshall Project looked into 126 prison workers convicted of "sexual misconduct and assault." Only nine served any jail time.
There's An Ulterior Motive For Everything
Inmates can be devious. Even when you think they're merely being spontaneously violent and stupid, like during a riot, there can be some ulterior motive at play:
"They'll have planned riots. They usually end rather quickly. Never any hostages when I've been there. They took over an entire day room once before ... [the guards] threw in a bunch of scat rounds, these rubber balls with CS gas and tiny pellets. That was the entire day room, it was terrible. Probably about 75 people. Most of them trying not to be involved, probably a third of them were fighting ... originally each other. And then they were fighting the officers when the officers came in. And then they threw the gas in there."
Athens Indymedia / Wiki Commons
"Uh, some of our guys are still in there."
And what practical role could those planned riots serve? "... one guy causes a fit to distract so they can make a cell call somewhere ... Or have a riot in one pod so in another pod they can ... it's stupid, because it's usually about something like smoking weed, or passing stuff around."
Hey, we said devious. Not smart.
Robert Evans's book, A Brief History of Vice, is available for pre-order now!
Psst, want to give us feedback on the super-secret beta launch of the upcoming Cracked spinoff site, Braindrop? Well, just follow us behind this curtain. Or, you know, click here: Braindrop.
For more insider perspectives, check out 6 Horrifying Things You Learn As An Inmate On Death Row and 6 Things You Learn Listening In On Every Prison Phone Call.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out How Not To Plan A Prison Escape, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also, follow us on Facebook, and then sign up to write for us, because it's better than being a prison guard!
Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here!